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Jenna is a take-control kind of person. That’s very different from a leader. She and Keven need to go to leadership training seminars together. They bark directives and nobody follows. It’s the charge of the army of onesies. She does have a communications plan, though, when the team is split into two cars: “If we need to talk to each other HONK three times.” This is brilliant and so much better than her not-shown first idea of aluminum cans with string tethered between the “voitures.”
Red Team drives the Infinitis faster than the Black Team and are the first to meet up with the most generalized French cheesemaker ever. Complete with bandanna around his neck. It’s like if I greeted you in Ottawa wearing a Mounties uniform. Don’t think I won’t.
Well Jean Marc does know his cheeses and this is a hard challenge but the cheesy instincts of Jenna will reign supreme. She finds the six sheep’s milk cheeses in a slow methodical fashion, though at one time she disagrees with the most Authentic Frenchman Ever. The nerve of some people. The cheeses do look really tasty. Some look deliciously unpasteurized… don’t get me started.
Black Team arrives after a devastating Black Team Down situation where Keven, the navigator and driver of the team, led them astray. Keven has not just studied cheese though, he has studied fromage. He is plein de suffisance. To the Babel Fish my people!
Then they herd sheep. Elves, I am speechless. Really?
Best Nookie-ism: ”Keven is about as useful as a fart in a space suit.” This is going to make my seven-year-old very happy as a new saying. Thanks for that, Nookie.
I didn't get to catch the show last night. BRAVO repeats shows like crazy, so I will get to see it easily enough.
That said, I didn't mind reading the blog, it is more entertaining than the show any ol' day.
Keep on "doin' that thing you do"!! I can't get enough of Hugh!!
Jules
I'm happy for your blog for two reasons: (1) I love your sense of humor and (2) I'm a Top Chef fan and this bastardized version is awful. I stopped watching after the first 15 minutes of the first episode. BUT your blog IS fun! It seems that very little content on 80 Plates is devoted to cooking. There are no "real" judges, just catty, juvenile behavior that reminds me of why I stopped watching Survivor.
I like the show, although I don't like the part where the other contestants got to decide who stays and who goes. We will surely end up with weak chefs. Oh well.
I see that the winning chef has made changes to her team, but from the promo, she's regretting adding a cry baby to her team. Soon we'll have the strong chefs up against the weaker, louder chefs.
I missed the show on Wednesday too and assumed I could watch it when it was re-run. Wrong! Bravo has it's schedule messed up and instead of my TiVo recording the show, it recorded the show I hate most; Housewives of anywhere. Go take a long whiff off of a tailpipe Andy Cohen.
Why do the chefs trust Cheven for navigating anyway? Didn't he show his ineptitude in London? The cameramen really need to raise the camera cuz I'm tired of looking up his huge nostrils.
Why did the show have to choose the slowest most pretentious Asian they could find? Asians usually are not that way.
Anyway, Chef Atcheson, love your blog.
Hugh, your narration is genius. I want to watch the show all over again just to have your words as the soundtrack in my head! Please continue writing blogs at least, but more if you are up to it. I'd read anything you write.
Two episodes in and I'm not enjoying this show. It should be about cooking great food but instead it's ridiculous running all over town and some really creepy personalities coming out. In Lyon one team gets a sit down with a renowned chef to learn the cuisine and the other team are out in the street trying to decifer restaurant menus. How stupid. No wonder the black team won. I'd win too if I had your guidance. And enough of the teams. Let the individuals cook and be judged by people who know what they're talking about and not just plotting to dump a team mate.




Awesome blog, Hugh! I laughed so hard I had to wipe my eyes to type my comment. I totally agree with your assessment of the chefs so far. This is an interesting style of challenge, and the combination of an unusually large number of egomaniacs and some really dastardly scheming is bringing out everyone's negative alter egos earlier than they would appear in a typical cooking competition. My personal favorite saying so far is "Allez moutons!"
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