Cast Blog: #BETHENNY

It's Complicated

Unbelievable

Follow Your Heart

Blow-Up

The House That Booze, Dreams, and Passion Built

Memory Lane

The Sunny Side of the Street

Play Hard

SkinnyBunnies

Senioritis

The Balloony Bin

Typical Bethenny

That's My Final Offer

Pure Bliss

The Reflecting Pool

And the Mariachi Band Played On

Left Field

Agita All Around

Something's Gotta Give

Big Shoes to Fill

The End of an Era

To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Plake

A Straight Shooter

The Power of the Press

Baby Fish Mouth

California Dreamin'

Buckle Up

The Dressing Suite

Like No Other

The Spy Who Skated With Me

I Fly Above

The Bond Is Strong

No More Boats

Land, Ho!

A Fever Pitch

All that Drama

Laundry Day

Sea of Love

Chock-full of Nuts

Addicted to Laughter

Stop and Realize

It's Complicated

Bethenny shares why here birthday was so hard, and how's she working to appreciate the next one.

I can't say I'm not happy that the birthday episode is over.

Jason and I cringed when we watched it. I, of course, had a total breakdown, and, yes, I own all of it. It is no secret that I don't like my birthday, nor do I like attention in that way. That, combined with an overloaded work schedule and sleep deprivation, didn't help any.

I'm a complicated gal, and I own, but don't love, every bit of it. Jason has his way of celebrating birthdays and I respect that. When his 40th comes this year, we will go all out. I don't think he fully understood that I REALLY didn't want bells and whistles. I could never blame him for that. I rarely blame others for things. I beat myself up pretty good for everything.

Anyway, it was so sweet of all of our friends and Jason's family to celebrate with us. Shawn threw a beautiful party, and I'm so grateful to everyone. The truth is, however, that I was happiest and got what I wanted when I got into a bubble bath with my family. My life has gotten so grandiose that I yearn for the little things.

As far as being 40, the number doesn't bother me. But in general, I'm starting to feel older. I'm not sure if it's the grays, or the baby, or seeing Jason's parents and reflecting -- but in general I'm aware of my age. I really do want to try and enjoy life's little moments instead of always being stressed. This will take time and some undoing of things, but as with everything, I will get there.

Thanks for watching. I love and appreciate you all.