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Hello readers! I've missed all of you.
Alrighty, so before you write me off as the worst assistant on the planet, please hear me out.
Bethenny brought up a lot of valid points about my performance as her assistant. I haven't been meeting all of her expectations and with more things being added to her plate by the day, she needs to have the proper support system around her.
That being said, there are statements she made that don’t exactly sync up.
The conversation with Jason about condoms at the SkinnyGirl Party was taken way out of context. As inappropriate as it sounded, it didn't take place exactly how it was pitched. It was a "guys talking at a bar"-kind of situation, however, I understand it was the wrong thing to talk about. I hold Jason in extremely high regard and I would never intentionally do anything to demean that. I didn't mean to cross a line. I didn't know where the boundaries began and where they ended. My third day on the job Bethenny asked me the oldest girl I've had sex with. It seemed as if some days there there were boundaries and some days there were none
Bethenny made a very bold statement about my motives for wanting to become her assistant. She believes I wanted to be around for the attention and the "red carpet glitz." The way she spoke, you'd think I had been hanging with Cameron Diaz and Mark Wahlberg as a result of working for her. I can assure you, although Bethenny has risen in popularity substantially over the last few years, I didn't look towards her as the fast track to popularity.
As I've stated in previous blogs, I didn't even know who Bethenny was prior to joining her. I had never watched The Real Housewives of New York or know she was an author. I was an intern during the day who was waiting tables at night when I applied for this job. I would have scooped ice cream out of a truck if the opportunity met me. I stated in my first blog that that I was a hungry kid looking for a job, and those motives remain the same.
So if you are so driven then why don't you get in the game and get is going stronger? If you needed the job so badly back then, then why are you drifting and slacking? Come on now, lets get it together dude!! We all make some mistakes and then we learn from them and move on to making things better. So move on dude and make things right and keep the job already, Damn!
That was a very fair response to what happened. The thing about working in that environment is that there's absolutely no structure, she has a very loose attitude about what's acceptable, and also what's required of you. I love Bethenney but also she did set you up to fail. It was not the right job for you. What was also not very clear is whether or not she ever sat you down to straighten things out before this. That said, it sounds like you learned a lot from this and hopefully you find a job that is a better fit for you in the future.
Max, if you were a real "go-getter" worker, you would have been on top of the production issue with SkinnyGirl. At the on-set; you don't want to put a crib together....it's not a good "fit" then you should have done her and YOU a favor and left the job. You went in saying you would rise to any occassion - did you mean....at the Spa??? She did you a favor and on camera as well. I mean, who gets a chance to air their opinions after being let go from a job on a blog with so many people to read? You have gained recognition and sympathy and I would venture to guess that you've already landed on your feet with a job that is not so demanding.
My question would be, were you hired to be a professional for skinny girl franchise, or were you hired to be a goffer to run errands picking out undies, shoes, outfits, putting together cribs, taking cookie for walks, etc, etc. Had Bethenny ever given you a warning? Had she ever given you a talk about what she was expecting from you and a talk about what you were doing wrong?
Thanks for your insights, I think they are pretty spot on. IMHO bothy Bethenny and Jason were inappropriate and crossed lines with you. It was very much a two way street. Being older and supposedly more mature, I hold them primarily responsible for there being no real boundaries. Any person deserves more than to be called out and belittled on national television.
Trust me, Bethenny came across a lot worse than you did. Jason admitting he got some strange satisfaction that you didn't work out?!?!? THAT certainly was nasty and bizarre, too.
I've remained neutral with regard to you, Julie and Gina. However, I'm done watching this show. I've been known to make and enjoy the occasional snarky comment but when they become the rule instead of the exception, it just is nasty.
Honestly, I've grown tired of Bethenny's 'all about me,' attitude, her constant whining and how everything is a crisis and she is so put upon. She seems to never really appreciate anything or anyone. This last deal with you, was just the icing on the cake for me. I wish you well and hope you find an employer who is both fair and mature.
Ok, Max? Really enjoyed watching you and I get the impression that you're a good kid. I have to say you've made one fair point here, which is that there was apparently a lack of clarity as to where the boundaries were in your employer/employee relationship. If Bethenny is asking you about your sexual, personal relationships on the job, and encouraging her husband to help you get dates with her jeweler, etc. then I completely understand your point on the condom issue. It may have theoretically been out of line and inappropriate in the context of a "regular" employee/employer relationship, but apparently those boundaries were crossed already and long ago by Bethenney herself. So, I feel you on this one. I do. The problem with the rest of your blog is that it completely fails to refect any sort of "taking your lumps," learning from it and moving on. Bethenny was your boss. What she says about your failure to add value to her company is the way it is/was. Worst thing any employee could ever do is try to explain away their failures. Own it. You apparently messed up (though, I confess, I'm not sure what you did wrong and it was clearly all off camera). One final note - its pretty lousy that you're claiming you had no idea who Bethenny was before your interview. Think before you say stuff like that. Clearly you had to know who she was, and if you didn't research her before your interview then you're a phony who apparently doesn't have the time of day to figure out who exactly it is you're meeting with. Don't tell us that you weren't warned that your interview would be on-camera and that that didn't lead you to Google Bethenny, for God's sake. Anyone with a pulse would have been curious. These comments make you in-credible (not in the good way). Max, good luck out there. I think you're a good kid. You just need to learn to take life's lumps and you need to learn the important lesson of keeping your thoughts to yourself sometimes.
doesn't sound like clear goals and expectations were set up with you. If they had been no doubt you would have been successful. Just take the initiative going forward to do that and you'll be in a much better place. Boundaries were definitely blurred so I guess lesson learned is that in the workplace you should establish your boundaries and try not to cross them regardless.
I am sure you will do fine with new challenges and adventures. Glad you were able to defend yourself here. Best of luck
Very well said. You made your points (all of them) without any name calling or stooping to low levels (unlike some of the other 'participants' in the Housewives francise, et al!). If the boss asks about the girl you had sex with 3 days in, all bets are off and you best believe you'll pay hell getting the boundries back. Good luck to you and the rest of the gang!
I completely understand. Bethenny's boundaries are defined by what makes good TV! You never had a chance because she was not interested in giving you one. Good luck in finding a real job where your talents and work ethic is appreciated and expectations are defined.
i could see how you could feel like you were getting mixed signals. Personally if it were me in that bethenny's situation and I was going to have someone shop for my underware it would've been my husband or her female personal assistant, but that's just me.
Ur adorable but If you would ask my husband and baby daddy for a condom especially at my work event I would of knocked your teeth out; well not really but I would of been super pissed and fired u on the spot sorry pretty only gets u so far max
Your a Doll and continue to strive for the being the best you can be ! Anyone who gets involved with Bethenny must realize that it's all about her and the world she created & lives in and the rest can go to hell. Well, at least that's how she protrays herself. God Bless .
I believe you. Hang in there. It sounds like lines were blurred and what was expected got lost at certain points. Hopefully you can move on and find a new position that is more structured. It sounds like working in a formal situation would be best for you.
Max...well said and I sympathize with you. Bethenny appears about as unprofessional as it gets (from what we viewers can tell from our vantage point). I can see how you would be uncomfortable and confused. No doubt you're onto bigger and better things. Much luck to you
Yeah, I don't know where the boundaries begin or end with Bethanney either. It appeared to be very unfair to me, as well. She sets the tone then blames you for following it?
Boo on Bethanney for the obvious hypocrisy.
A lesson learned -- you just can never get too close to your employer. Everything can and will be used against you in the end. You became too relaxed...
Good Luck to you in the future. You are qualified for a really good position!
Dont be so hard on yourself. We all just do the best we can but maybe this job just is not for you. You weren't a fit, it happens. You learn something from every person and every job so look at this as a lesson.
I understand your predicament and I (and other readers in Bethenney's blog) agree that she should have never fired you on national television. She also contradicted herself by allowing you to do jobs which required her to look in her underwear drawer and not to mention the open conversations she had with you regarding your social life. She definitely gave off mixed signals. Nevertheless, I believe she fired you on television for the ratings. Period. Still love the show though. Frankly the new "foodie guy" is somewhat interesting but she should not get too close for comfort and allow him to be with Bryn alone. He seems nice enough but she needs to figure out who he really is. Good luck with your job endeavors!
Max, all you need to say is thanks Bethenny for the opportunity sorry I'am not what I pretended to be
I have nothing but empathy for you my friend, as I have been in your situation more than once in my life. Bosses that want you to like them and cross over the line trying to convince you how hip and cool they are and then when you do or say something to them exactly like they have spoken to you they become upset. She really set you up with all of the naked, panties, sex talk etc. and then smacked you down for a little thing like asking Jason if he had a condom! I like her but P L E A S E !!! I think you would have a very good case for sexual harassment. Seriously...being asked to fetch your bosses panties etc.and then getting fired for the lame reasons she stated. Go see an attorney and take all the video to show the best evidence ever for your case. Good Luck!! You seem like a very nice, bright and talented young man and I am sure you have a very bright future ahead of you. LOL Sam I Am (I am a 68 year old grandmother of 5 and I know whereof I speak!)
"cool" they are
I agree with some of your statements, Max. I really enjoy the show but from what we see of Bethenny on T.V., she does seem to have an ambiguous way of drawing boundaries for "appropriate behavior" as she is very outspoken, often saying things I'd never say in public or on camera. For you to assist a person like that, it might have been like trying to hit a moving target. Also, when someone new is put in a position they've never worked, have no clue how to go about achieving what the job role involves, without clear guidelines or training, it can be hard to meet expectations. But on your end, you probably could have put more effort into researching her needs and working style. When I watched you on TV, I often thought this did not appear to be the right fit for you and wondered if the situation would have been the same if you had been working for a male.
Kudos to you for the professional exit in the face of harsh criticism by Bethenny. I thought her send off and level of anger towards you at the end was rather excessive, but then, as she said, you were getting paid on "her dime". Good luck to you, Max, in all your future endeavors!! Hope we haven't seen or heard the last of you.
Those are really valid points. I bet it was not easy working for Bethany, and yet you remained a gentlemen with the way you handled this blog. Good luck in the future, you seem like a good guy!
I posted a comment this morning..not sure why they didnt post it. I think in some way Bethenny did set you up to fail. There is no form of structure to her business..and she always seemd quite comfortable with some of the situations she put you in. It seems she never really set any bounderies for you or herself. Goos luck to you Max. I think your better off.
You are absolutely right. If Max failed its because Bethany is just lacking in leadership skills. Max did the best anyone could do under those circumstances. Keep your head up Max, you did a good job.
Hmmm. I've never posted on Bravo before, nor did I even know that you had a blog. I must say though, I find that there are subtle stabs at Bethenny throughout this blog entry and a level of arrogance on how you view yourself. This entry appears fake to me; as in some ways you are apologizing, yet in other ways you are subtly blaming Bethenny for the way you were portrayed and the way you had difficulty performing your job duties.
I applaud Bethanny for being so open and willing to allow you to post one final blog entry. In my opinion, you've sunk your character even more by not writing a simple and polite thank you entry for everything Bethenny and her staff have done for you. Your apparent need to "prove" to everyone through words on this final entry of your work ethic by citing previous successes in university and on the field, while you subtling blame Bethenny for your situation is rather distasteful; and further exposes you as an individual that "talks the talk, but can't walk the walk." "All show, and no go." The sayings go on.
Best of luck in your future endeavors. Hopefully this experience will teach you a lesson about yourself and what it takes to actually succeed in the business world.
Hmmm. I've never posted on Bravo before, nor did I even know that you had a blog. I must say though, I find that there are subtle stabs at Bethenny throughout this blog entry and a level of arrogance on the way you view yourself. This entry appears fake to me; as in some ways you are apologizing, yet in other ways you are subtly blaming Bethenny for the way you were portrayed and the way you had difficulty performing your job duties.
I applaud Bethanny for being so open and willing to allow you to post one final blog entry. In my opinion, you've sunk your character even more by not writing a simple and polite thank you entry for everything Bethenny and her staff have done for you. Your apparent need to "prove" to everyone through words on this final entry by citing previous successes in university and on the field, while you subtling blame Bethenny for your situation is rather distasteful in my opinion. It just further exposes that you are most likely the type of individual that "talks the talk, but does not walk the walk"...or "all show, and no go." The sayings go on. But this is televison, and perhaps you are frustrated with the way you were portrayed via editing. If so, I don't blame you for wanting to defend yourself, but, I just found it rather distasteful in the way in which you went about it with this entry.
Best of luck in your future endeavors :) I hope this experience teaches you something about yourself and what it takes to succeed in the both the business and entertainment worlds.
I couldn't agree with you more regarding your defense in this situation. Your success so far in life has been in a myriad of areas that are quantifiable. You have a goal...you exceed it! This job is way too subjective for you. Bethenny states very clearly several times in the show that she's not into details. In order to manage someone in a personal assistant capacity, at the onset there should be clear objectives and weekly reviews to make certain that expectations are being met. She hasn't done this...at least on the show. You should part while things are still friendly and find something more suitable for your talents. Something with clearly defined objectives that you can exceed. You're obviously smart, articulate, personable, etc. You'd be great in marketing or sales. Good luck....hope we see more of you anyway!
I adore Bethenny. but I'm going to have to say something in Max's defense here. She had a tendency to think that Max should basically read her mind and know what she expects of him. Remember when she scooted him out of that party in New Jersey and was NOT happy that the car wasn't ready and waiting? She made him feel awful for not predicting what she needed and went ON and ON about it. She should have planned a code-word ahead of time, so he could call and have the car waiting. I also would like to know if Julie was on the list of people for the massage at the baby shower. Would she be in trouble for getting a massage? NO. Would she be in trouble for going ahead of other guests? No. Perhaps she would've politely waited until all the guests were done first, but we can't expect Max to know EVERY bit of etiquette at these functions. The friendship/employee/boss line is very faded and hard to read and seems to change like a traffic light. The condom question is not out of line considering the relaxed and unpredictable work environment. I agree this wasn't the best fit for Max, but it's not because he didn't try.
Max, You'll find your way. There were times you made me laugh! Perhaps it wasn't the perfect fit, but you have a good personality and good looks. You will have opportunities coming your way. Your parents should be proud of you. You entered into a real unknown territory and took the chance! Good luck to you in all you do!!
Huge fan of the show... Though I missed this episode, I saw clips and I have an idea of what happened from reading the comments.
First, I am an assistant, and it is tough. There really isn't a 'job description'. You just have to be a few steps ahead and anticipate their needs, their schedule, etc. Takes some getting used to, and takes some life skills, for sure.
Secondly, I knew from the second she hired you, it wasn't a fit. It was obvious to me. So Max, it just wasn't a fit. Good luck, but just remember to work very, very hard in whatever you do, research your job well (Google is your friend), and never stop learning, talking to others, but most importantly, work hard.
Good luck. Oh, and go to grad school if you can. You'll need it.
I don't know Max. If I were working for a high strung woman with a strong sense of motivation and energy, I would shut my mouth and bust my butt to get stuff done for her and learn as much as I can while I helped her navigate her journey to major success. After all, if you are one of the ones to help make that so, you also reap the rewards. Why you felt the need to act like one of the girls or felt entitled to do some of the things you did is beyond me. You should have paid your dues like the rest of personal assistants do. Shut up and get crap done and know your place without needing to be told. People who make it as successful PA's are the ones who go in already knowing what the pre reqs are. Your education sadly seemed to be lacking once common element of the basics, decorum based on the obvious. You should have already known what YOUR decorum in her company should be regardless of what your BOSS was doing. That is the PA's job my friend, and you failed. Good learning lesson for you to do better with the next one. Bethany was right to let you go. You still need to learn a lot.
Don't take the criticism to heart. It is only a matter of time before Bethanny falls off that high horse and exposes herself for who she really is. Have her state clearly what she expects from you, then decide whether or not you can comply.
OK, so I don't know what all really happened when the camera's were turned off. But I can tell you that from what I saw on the show, I think your biggest problem is that you're immature. You say, "I didn't know where the boundaries began and where they ended." well let me give you a little advice. YOU DON'T ASK YOUR BOSSES HUSBAND IF HE HAS A CONDOM! "It was a "guys talking at a bar"-kind of situation" NO, it wasn't. It was at a work function!!!
Even judging by what we were shown, Bethenny needs to really think more about her management style. "Who's the oldest girl you've slept with?" is not an appropriate question from your boss, any boss.
Picking out her thong, assembling the crib, being mocked on camera for trying to make a little joke about marriage (that awkward lunch conversation where she badgered you about, "Who says that?", over and over). I liked her on RHoNY, but she has no idea of how to be a good boss, imo.
Judging from the scene we saw with Nick this week--one minute walking Cookie, one minute being sent to get alcohol so she can spike their street drinks, one minute being told to push the baby carriage (all the while, she's saying rude things about him in her talking head to the camera)....well, it's impossible to imagine that her assistants ever have a clearly defined list of duties, hours, or (her words) boundaries.
Obviously, we didn't see it all, but just from what she WANTED us to see, her management style is horrible. Anyone would rather have Jason be the one in charge, if given the choice, I'm sure. She should learn something from that.
Well now that you heard from three Frankel Fan-natics, I understand what must have gone on. You were suppose to follow HER rules, but then since she made them, they do not always apply to her. I think the one main problem is your were a straight guy working in a place where straight men are not going to feel comfortable. Also these "assistant" jobs, most of the time appear thankless. and sadly I think this one was.
Live and Learn you know, move on and try and avoid situations like this, it will just be a loosing battle, who needs that kind if headache.
I don't think it was about the condom comment at all. Bethenny is definitely inappropriate herself and I love that about her. You were just maybe too young and laid back for this opportunity. You did not come off as a bad guy on the show; you just seemed not ready for what was offered to you. My advice is going forward do not trash Bethenny; take this as a learning experience. You will be fine because despite the end you always seemed smart and nice.
Go Max! It seems like she hired you as a publicity stunt and then dropped you. The things that were required of you seemed so unprofessional. Bethenny is inconsistent.
I would never want to work for somebody whose mood and demeanor is so mercurial and that translates in to fickleness with her rapport with her employees. I am a big fan of Bethany but one cant deny that if you are not willing to sacrifice your whole life to cheer-lead hers- she has a zero tolerance policy. That kind of attitude catches up with you. I feel for you, her door mat husband , her friends and employees.
"most competitive, lauded, and sought after communications school...Syracuse University"
You have a future as a standup. This is hilarious.
I agree with you Max! I believe Bethenny put you over “the limit” on some tasks she asked you to do. If Bethenny wants her employees to act in a professional manner, then she should also. It must have been a very difficult position for you to be in. I would just chalk it up to experience and move on.
There is a line and I think it was never drawn. No one should be expected to put together a crib. Please. Don't think that was right. She kept crossing a line with expecting him to pick out things to wear but when he crossed it she was shocked. Not really fair.
I think Bethenny laid the groundwork for the workplace by making inappropriate comments to you as an employee and directing you to complete tasks better suited to her female employee--as an employer she crossed the line with her continual sexual innuendos directed at you--just because she is a female doesn't give her the right to treat a male employee this way (even though back in the day female employees routinely were abused in this manner).
Bethenney is unbelievable. From the way she treats/talks to everyone and what she asks them to do. Remember the wedding dress pee a thon! Max you will be better off away from the craziness. Nobody works so many diverse tasks that she wants. I don't see her assistant doing those things. This season she is showing another side of her; she constantly demeans those around her. I feel badly for the new foodie/Nick. If he ever watches or hears the things she says about him.
Bethany has to share a good portion of the blame for any performance difficulties. She's rather scattered brained at times, going 100 miles a hour, and I don't think knew exactly what she needed you to do. Pick out her underwear? Give me a break!
I think it is HILARIOUS that these commenters are like OK MAX i accept your apology or OK MAX this is what you need to do. THIS IS A BLOG HE WRITES FOR A TV SHOW HE IS ON AND YOU ARE NOT HIS BOSS! LOLOL Get a life everyone. Great show keep up the drama!
I feel bad she made you look so bad. I think she like to put people down once she thinks she has no use for you. We have seen the way she has bad mouthed her mom and be mean spirited with the other housewives or celebrities. I wish you the best of luck and you will do better.
I THINK YOU'RE GONNA BE FIND WHEREVER YOU LAND...THIS JUST WASN'T A GOOD FIT. PERHAPS THINGS SEEMED BLURRY AND THAT'S UNDERSTANDABLE. I STILL THINK BETHENNY CARES FOR YOU, AND JASON AS WELL. IT JUST DIDN'T WORK OUT. I WISH YOU MUCH LUCK! YOU'RE YOUNG, HANDSOME AND HAVE A GREAT PERSONALITY!
First - I would not want my dismissal to be aired on TV - to me that was very low class -
2nd - I agree her work ethics were not structured and a very loose attitude - and did she give any warning on what her standards were?
3rd - I don't think that she meets Jason in the middle when it comes to family - She should embrace the family that wants to embrace her -
I'm an executive assistant in a more structured environment, and even then, the boundaries of assistance can get a little blurry. When you're working for someone, unfortunately it really is all about them. As a professional, you have to be selfless/keep the attention off of yourself, ask for clarity & definition of the expectations, and not wing it like your boss bec. it's a "do as I say, not as I do". You're the one keeping the wheel steady.
Bethenny probably wasn't the best boss in that she ran hot & cold, and quite frankly, she was flirty and inappropriate. She wasn't a professional w/ the thong stuff & underwear- which, if you put that in a true business environment, is considered sexual harassment. Great TV, but not normal.
It's not your fault that the role requirements were fuzzy. But- sorry, tough love here- you do need to work on being more professional, even if you're being egged on for entertainment purposes. Next time, keep to yourself a bit more, and don't say or do everything on your mind, even when surrounded by people like that. The nail that sticks out gets hammered.