My first memories of online dating date back to before I even knew such things really existed. It was the end of my senior year of high school, when I still had a long ratty-red ponytail and my black beat-up leather jacket that I slunked around the school in sneering at people and trying to find places to hide, like some sort of college-prep troll.
In those strange days, Facebook was just opening up to more colleges. Just as we were about to graduate, we were already logging in to our new school's networks, already checked out from high school. I remember lounging around in the stucco-built computer room during free periods, checking or searching to find the people I'd be in my small film program with, feeling intimidated by others' experiences and smiling profile-pictures and searching for, combing the unknown.
At that point, just as we'd all given up on high school, I'd given up on trying to make friends -- just as people who hadn't talked to me before were realizing in that brief, last flash the fruitlessness of their cliques and social mores, and trying to strike up a conversation. Tantalizing, that Facebook reached out to me, the young and disconnected. Could I find someone on there? Would there be others like me? Others so peculiar?
I looked and I did find "people," though I don't know if I found friends. Instead, the people I "friended" would later come to dislike me in real life, or we would just be around each other, or we gravitated as our social awkwardness drew us in. But unknowing of all of that, I relished in my new-found "friends" and "peers" from that high-school computer room. I felt the coming of, at least, something else.
Nick - you do not want high school or college to be the "highlight" of your life. I was never asked out during high school so I know what you have felt. Like Bethenny, once you find happiness or self-contentment for yourself first, then I believe love will come. Do not depend on someone else to make you happy. No relationship will happen if that is what you are looking. Life is a journey with or without that significant other. You have so many attributes in just you that we, the viewers, have found very engaging and fun. Best wishes with your new success!
I like your truthfulness. You are so brave to be yourself and just trust that the pieces of life will soon match up for you. It's hard to not want to change to fit a certain mold in society. Keep being you, it seems to be working out pretty well.
Trust me on this, you are neither undesirable nor unwanted. I am a 44 year woman, and I was pretty and poular in college. I had a steady boyfriend and didn't lack for friends or dates. I am ashamed to say I might not have dated you then, although I would have always been a friend as I find intelligence, kindness and introspection to be traits I admire and (hopefully) share with others. But the thing I am trying to say is that college girls grow up, and when we do we realize that it doesn't matter whether a guy is the best looking man on the planet, what matters is that he is kind, caring and will love us no matter what.
I think what Bethanny was trying to say, if I may be so bold as to presume I can understand her, is that part of that growing up process involves starting to love and respect ourselves, and somehow once that happens, we can allow the RIGHT men to love us. You WILL find a woman who loves you exactly as you, and she will know she is the luckiest woman in the world to have found you.
Hang in there and don't lose heart, you have more to offer than even you realize at this point. I wish I had met someone like you years ago instead of the swallow and empty jerks who used me and never appreciated that I had a brain in my pretty head.
Life is a journey and you are only just starting out on yours. By the way you speak, write and act I predict a very happy outcome for you.
Thank you for adding something special to the show and with your blog. Believe in yourself and your talent and worth!
Maureen from Long Island
Nick, As I watched tonights show and listened to what you wrote about the food truck experience with Bethenny, I too was impressed. Mainly because the things she said to you, you not only listened to but heard what she had to say along the way. That attribute alone says so much about you! Tonight my research is about Chinese food. I've traveled throughout China but have no idea when, which, and how it became to be part of the American Food Culture. So thank you.
I think you are interesting and great just like you are, you have gifts like writing that I would love to havem you also seem to be just full of all this great knowledge.
Nick - you are lovely, wonderful and fascinating and need to believe in yourself!!! If there is one thing a girl doesn't like it's the "woe is me type of guy". You have so much to offer. You are a delight to listen to. Start selling yourself Nick! When Bethenny first interviewed you and passed I knew she had just made a big mistake. She has wised up now though. Sit back and enjoy the fun. Good luck in your job and remember to look people in the eyes!!!
Dear Nick, I am a huge fan of yours. I wish you much success, love and happiness...truthfully. Sincerely
So Bill Gates isn't on anyone hottest list, but he sits on his stacks of gazillion dollars laughing at the ones who are. You're a talented writer and who are you inside and on paper will get you on just as many "lists".
I just signed up at Feitelogram.com! Amazing blog! I love it. Thanks for taking the time to share all your fabulous thoughts! Bethanny is right-you are a wonderful writer-you will find your perfect someone through that someone's love of your writing- you have the soul of a true romantic. It will be a journey, but just keep on being true to yourself and it will happen for you. You have so much to offer all of us. Thank you!
Dear Nick, I think your new look is great and you wear it well. I agree with the other posts and would like to add that you have many positive things about you that the world can definitely use. I smile now just thinking of the first time I saw you when Bethenny interviewed you and I too thought at that time that you were the guy she needed as her assistant. I think that there are many great things waiting out in the world for you Nick...enjoy today.
Nick,I am such a fan....How serendipitous that we all will get to enjoy you ,through Bethanny's notoriety.You are a breathe of fresh air.We are looking forward to seeing and hearing more from you.
Hi Nick -- you will hopefully one day come to realize how much you have to offer some lucky woman. We all "bloom" in our own time .... and even if you don't ever find that one true love, you can still offer your heart to the world through your films.
You should hold your head up high and look people in the eyes ...
You, in one word are a "POET ".
Can't wait for future writings............... You are to cool for school!
I am so glad you are on the show! You are so intelligent and such a gifted writer and a good soul. I look forward to reading your blogs. You are the real deal!
Nick you are a CUTIE! Second to humour, I love a smart man. You have you own unique charm and you will be snapped up before you know it. Stya true to you. You are refreshingly unque. All the best.
Nick, I LOVE your blog, you are so very talented! High School sucked for most of us, whether we were openly awkward or not; whether we were popular or not. I was neither, I was just "there" and really never felt like I fit in anywhere. I graduated almost 10 years ago (man, it flew by fast!) but once high school was over and college began, I was able to find myself and find friends who are like my family and I can honestly say I love my life. My point is, if you embrace who you are, you will love your life too! It takes time to find yourself, but you will and it sounds like you are. Once you do that, everything else somehow manages to fall into place, it's amazing. Best wishes on your blog and in everything you do.
Nick i find your writing very enjoyable to read and i think u have to give yourself more credit, keep your head up i am sure that good things will come ur way best of luck to u. and best wishes to ur new found success.
NICK,LOVE ,LOVE,LOVE,YOU your new hair cut is so cute you are so intelligent I'am afraid to write because of grammatical errors anyway, Bethenny is a smart woman I can tell how you hold her interest when you talk don't worry about finding women because now you will have groupies but don't fall for it,look for someone that have some of your interest don't fall for a pretty face with nothing to say.
Nick - As you get older, you will find that your high school and college years are pretty superficial and many of the people you knew in those years were also superficial. Know yourself and love yourself and it will all fall into place.
True story: I was semi popular in high school. Never had a problem getting guys. Had a steady boyfriend that I married who was a major jock. Very popular guy. 20 years later I was divorced and starting over. I met someone while doing online dating. Come to find out, he was a loner that went to high school with me. Never had a steady girlfriend beyond 2 months. He has some strange traits and he's a bit eccentric. I LOVE THAT ABOUT HIM! And we are deeply in love and going strong for the last 8 months.
It will happen for you. You will find someone who appreciates you and all your quirks. Just keep being you. Keep developing yourself and loving who you are becoming. That confidence just seeps out of people and you will find that others will be drawn to you. You'll see, Nick. It's going to be amazing.
Your blog touched my heart! I love that you can put it all out there, THAT's what make you unique. Reading about tears of joy from the friendships you acquired almost brought me to tears myself. Had it not been for those experiences you would not be the Nick that we all have come to love today. I hope to hear more from you in the future.
Lots of love from California
I adore you, to see you interact with B is pure entertainment. Don't ever change who you are...a breath of fresh air!!
I love you Nick! Im so glad you are who you are. Dont change for anyone. Bethenny obviously loves you too. You have a real gift for writing and I enjoy you whenever you are on the show, I hope you are on more next season! Best Wishes to you! Enjoy the road you are on, dont worry about the girls, they will catch up and realize how amazing you are. Maybe they just need to date a few A-holes first??
You're brilliant and young!! I just turned 31 and I feel like a young version of my years too.. Like highschool etc.. still.. Life is evolving like that. I just started working out and taking control back in my life and appearance.. AS you know.. You can do anything and be anything!!!!! Best wishes. You look great!! You're going to have a successful life!
Nick, I'm a huge fan of yours you are a very charming, engaging, intelligent man. I hope you know that you have a large fan base out there that enjoy watching you on the show! Good luck in everything that you do.
Nick, What an amazing person you are! You are so incredibly smart and passionate and thoughtful...really looking forward to reading more of your blogs and hearing of your successes in life! You deserve it!
Honestly, Nick I can't put into words what's so endearing about you (I don't have that same gift of written expression that you have!) But simply put, it just may be your strength of character. Rather than project an image that "fits" into a mold, you remain true to who you are. I strive for that, and am inspired by you.
You are my favorite! You are quiet and A LITTLE different, but that is what makes you seriously amazing! Dont change a thing you will find someone that loves you just the way you are.
You are not ugly or undesirable, Nick. You interesting and unique. I'd take a guy like you over a Mario Lopez type any day! Your shyness is endearing and some day you will find the girl that truly appreciates these qualities. You write beautifully and seem not to waste words on things that are irrelevant. Rock on Nick!
Nick, You ROCK!! I fell in love with how endearing you were on the show and then to hear your thoughts on paper was just awesome! Bethenny better keep you on board because you are a valuable asset to a branding company in this web driven world we live in. Your future looks bright :D Congrats Nick!!
Nick - u rock! Not only are u a great writer BUT u know food! What a great place to b w that knowledge (NYC) and what a great person to work w (Bethenny)! You guys were destined to write a bestseller together! We all cant be the best looking w the best bodies BUT you have so much more .....a brain! ENJOY ur success - u deserve it!
How profound. You are very deep. The old saying, beauty is skin deep... You have a different kind of beauty. You have a beautiful soul and a beautiful heart. You have a maturity to your mind & you have an old soul. Very wise and very beautiful.
Your sweetness, honesty and thoughtfulness shine through. You are a very nice looking person. The new haircut looks great on you. You just lack confidence and you will and can work on that. If I was your age I would snap you up in a minute. Your soul is simply beautiful.
Nick, I was so happy to see you this season on BEA. As far as relationships go, please have fun and this may sound strange, but practice. What I mean is whenever you do go on a date, learn from it. Ask slot of questions and show who you truly are. A smart, talented, kind and empathetic man. You are a tru gem as far as men go. Whenever I was asked on a date I never said NO, you never know what you can learn from someone. This way when the right the women appears, you'll be prepared. Always put yourself in all social situations, you never know who you'll meet. The reason I am writing this is because you are just like my husband. We worked together for 8 years before he asked me out and of course I said yes. I didn't really think he was my type, but to my surprise he was. He's kind, smart and does the little things in life that let me know how much he loves me. He writes well just like you and at times that's how he communicates to me. My heart swells every time. I am positive you will find true happiness, just hang in there. Again, love that you're on BEA!!
You are amazing and gentle. I loved your blog; signed to follow you on twitter and couldn't be happier for you in doing what you love!
Good fortune to you always!!!
Just on the off chance, Nick, will actually catch this comment.... I just wanted to add that part of what is most endearing about Bethanny is her innate ability to be true to herself in every circumstance. This is what shines through you as well Nick. What others may see as lack... is the least of your worries, my friend. What sets you apart from the rest of the pack is the light that shines from your soul. Character is far more valuable than a perfect fit in society.
You are the guy in my English class. The one, no one could ever understand why I held such interest in. But, in the grand scheme, my English fellow, knew me better, loved me more and made my little light shine brighter, just because he saw something in me I could not see in myself.
Shine on.... Meg~
Nick--I just want to give you a hug! Just know that someone like Bethaney does not waste her few precious moments on someone that isn't really really special. The second that you realize that; love will find you. Keep writing and best to you!!!
Your writing simply moves me...I love it when words, mere words, on paper can touch, transform or inspire people. Amazing.
I think you are a gifted writer and admire your vast knowledge about food. You're fantastic on Bethenny's show! Keep up the great work!
Dear Nick, you melt my heart,I can see your compassion and kind heart and i'm sure your princess will notice that one day.Those are excellant qualities that make a great boyfriend, husband.They attracted Bethenny to you and that is a wonderful person to learn and grow from. Enjoy the place you are in now and good things will follow.You are awesome and I look forward to seeing you and reading your work,Best Wishes!!
You are a great addition to the show and I wish you the best in life, and I think it's coming your way.
I think more people than not know what it's like to be/feel like an outsider. Your post made me think back to my own trouble meeting people and making friends in high school and university. Even now, I only have a small group of true friends, but at least they are genuine and they like me for me :)
If it's any silver lining, I met my soon-to-be husband online over 5 years ago during the end of my undergrad. We fell and love and are getting married in the fall!