Agita All Around

Episode 9:'s Editor calls "her girl Gloria" to dicuss the return of Gina and this episodes agita-a-go-go.

Yes finally! The return of Gina. The world's sassiest baby nurse come back to us (albeit too briefly) and Cookie learned a new trick (shockingly). Let's assess this pre-vacation episode.

Apartment Agita
We open with the lovely Girl Gomez dropping by Bethenny's to discuss the continuing design process. Bethenny has decided that Brooke's greatest talent is  spending other people's money. Last I checked, that's the fun of being a decorator. You get unbridled access (within a budget) to a stockpile of cash that you can spend on pretty things. She knows by now how to drop some bank on a bench! But, since it's Team Bethenny, the decisions are a group effort, meaning Julie is called into give final say. Julie then reveals to Brooke that she won't be able to do that for much longer. Brooke's face when she realized Julie was leaving was really just incredible. Agita personified.

Besides benches, Bethenny's got to pick out marble for her bathroom. As usual, she must act as center for the entire situation, with the boys not talking to the Gomez Gals. Thankfully on the way out of the stone store, there’s a large statue of some sort of skirt wearing deity, so Bethenny can lean on that religious figures aide. Marc doubts her Egyptian religious leanings, but you know what? He can deal with the buildings. Let her handle the moral needs surrounding the design. If it's going to take Bethenny jotting down notes in hieroglyphics to get this apartment finished, so be it. Why not just put a sphinx statue in the living room and call it a day.

Beam Me Up
Here's a question -- when does a "golden glow" get a little too golden if you know what I mean?

As further proof that Bethenny’s life is the best, she has a very important drinking meeting. Just a midday summit to to test out the latest Skinnygirl cocktails, assess the cheater brands, and ponders what the sangria's color reminds people of. Apparently, it's a fine line between gasoline, urine, and delicious, refreshing cocktail. Never forget.

A Small Note about Matt Hesse
Did anyone else notice that Matt Hesse moved to NYC and got New York hair? He's definitely gotten slicker with his move to the East Coast. With a haircut like that, Jason has to drink a lot of the berry drink to ensure he's still alpha male at Skinnygirl over Matt.


Anyway, consensus big nuts for the bars. Obviously. Have you meet Bethenny?


The Freshmaker
And then Gina comes back to us! Watching her interact with Bryn (who is super fresh and can say "what's up now") was only surpassed by her incredible montage, which featured my favorite Gina line ever -- "Excuse me, I'm on the phone with my girl Gloria." How have we lived without hearing about her vagina needs? I guess we had Nick's eyebrows threading as a placeholder, but it's just not the same.

Without Bethenny feeding her pigs feet, Gina's still been able to find work that can provide for her specific needs. And why should Gina work anywhere that doesn't have the proper toilet tissue? It’s the most important service an employer provides -- particularly because she has to shake that very behind to attain a new mate who is either white or black, and also not gay (hard to come by). Worried Gina's not racially inclusive enough? Fear not, she's available to diversify your weddings, as she so graciously offers to Julie.

After Dawa leaves, things get real and B and Gina discuss the changing dynamics at home. Bethenny's never been a big fan of change, and it's clear the current scenario of moving parts has knocked her into a tail-spin. It's hard to see Bethenny all curled up with Bryn's elephant, and even harder to see her talking about her issues with Dr. Amador. Truly the idea of Bethenny being unlovable is hard to grasp, and while she clearly wants the best for Jason, it's insane to think that she wouldn't be it. . .

Next week the trip to Mexico will hopefully put the gang back in better spirits. What do you think? Will this birthday go more smoothly than the last one? Leave your predictions in the comments.

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Blow-Up's Editor recaps the hair dryer-filled Season 3 finale.

Hello Bethenny fans! And now we've come to the end. Season 3 has drawn to a close but not before a few additional pitchers of margaritas were imbibed and tears were shed. Let's recap shall we.

The Designated Drinker
We open with the gang at Tortilla Flats, celebrating the holidays with copious Skinnygirls. Even Dwayne has been given the night off so that he may quench his gullet with tequila -- and thank god for that. I loved him before, and I was sure I was going to love him even more drunk. And I was right! Plus it was his idea to invite Nick -- which is always the right thing to do.

And the gang needed all the drinks and entertainment they could get because it was Julie's last shindig. More drinks. More shots. More celebrations all around. Drink until you forget what a strange crew you've surrounded yourself with.

Stop the Gossip
Next B jaunts to what will be Julie's last photoshoot. Bethenny looking slightly less than her best is having a hard time focusing. She's feeling teary through makeup but hanging in there, until Julie starts showing her photos, and that's when all is lost. . .

She begins to sob uncontrollably, to the point that she must dry her eyes with a hair dryer. . .It works. . .

Talk That Talk
After a harrowing morning of nipple control (someone call HR) and VIP Christmas cards, Bethenny sneaks away for a top secret phone call. Jason, ever the spy, attempts to intercept, and so Bethenny finally decides to reveal the news: they got the talk show! She'll be spending the summer in L.A. making it happen. She tells the team and begins the process of plotting how the six-week run will work. Everyone seems ready to make it work so cheers to even more changes!

And then it's officially goodbye JuJu (how cute!) time. As Byrn, says "Happy Birthday" the gang tries to hold it together through the tears. Julie is going to have a lovely new life in Pittsburgh. Congrats and good luck lady!

The Big Reveal
And then it's go time. After packing up the final elements (including Bethenny's sex toy box), the Hoppys prepare to start fresh.

And the place is uh-mazing! It's very Bethenny -- lots of white with accents of red (and Skinnygirl). And the bar! The Bar is exactly like Bethenny imagined it -- with a slide out bar that lets you have fancy parties with help. It has everything: an insane office, a man den, a room for Bryn, a palatial Elle Decor-feeling kitchen and a sick, sick bathroom. Oh right, and the closet! Bethenny's insane closet is all she could have dreamed. As Mariette clarifies it's a dressing room! And it all came together without anyone killing each other. Did you ever think it would happen?

But no sooner than the final baubles are hung in the dressing room, than Bethenny gets a call that the talk show is happening sooner than she thought. They have but a mere month in the apartment before it's time to be in Los Angeles. And before that can even be processed, Bryn knocks over a vase -- sending Bethenny to the blow dryer and shattering what pristine normalcy there once was. Typical.

And that's it! Thanks for reading this season. Until we meet again B fans!

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