All About the Bethenny's
Episode 2: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor talks eyebrow threading, small strippers, and falafels.
Hello Bethenny belovers (just testing that out). It's our second episode, and already so much is happening. Hoda is admitting that she doesn't always listen to Today show guests, Nick is getting his eyebrows threaded, Bryn is speaking in full sentences (now she can act in movies besides just The Artist). Let's recap shall we?
Don't Hold the Hoda!
Yes! Ms. Kotb is back, and providing us with even more joyous delights. I am love, loving these two's friendship. I'm not saying we should throw Kathie Lee over or anything, but I could watch these ladies interact all day. Maybe there's a buddy comedy in their future. B and Hoda Eat, Pray, Love their way across Spain, or Thelma and Louise minus the murderous end. Someone draft up a script, and I'll do whatever I can to help. This is going to be my Moneyball. Whatever it takes.
Hoda is basically beaming with love, and therefore is feeling super honest. Honest enough to admit that sometimes while she's pulling those pre-cooked pans out of the oven that she's not paying attention at all. She's just tuned-out waiting to "chug-a-lug" with Bethenny at lunch. And not only has she gotten up and hosted a show, she's also most likely already had sex (She doesn't want to do it after she eats a meal. Even if it's a light sensual meal like oysters? Is this like swimming where you need to wait 30 minutes?). Oh Hoda, you're my hero.
The Rain in Spain
After discussing only children's happiness level and the new working hours at SkinnyGirl HQ, Jason comes in to eat pizza with Teri and B and discuss an upcoming trip to Spain. Apparently Jason has already been to Spain on a boys' jaunt to Barcelona. B has hundreds of questions about this, specifically if it was a little on the gay side. I'm not sure what sort of gents tour she imagines he went on. Was it like the tomato festival, with Jason and a bunch of shirtless men throwing tomatoes at each other? Were the all sharing clothes from the same backpack and bonding in hostels? It was only like two years ago, so that does seem unlikely.
I know I've already made one Eat, Pray, Love reference, but now let's imagine another remake of that movie, this time starring Jason (and B waiting for him at the Villa in Spain, for some plot reason to be determined). I will also herald the cause of getting this produced.
Before the fam heads to Spain though, B is heading out on a girls' weekend. Thankfully, she doesn't even have to pack, she can just take one of the many bags that are under Julie's desk. Go forth! You've curtailed the hoarding and saved some time.
Falafels to Falafels
Nick and B head out on a straight ball crawl for the blog, which makes me super jealous. I love a good falafel -- and a good makeover!
Yes, besides just hummus and soda burps, B and Nick also eek in a little time for eyebrow threading. Nick has the take charge attitude to woo ladies (did anyone else notice him "What up?" the staff at that one restaurant. So forceful and street.), but not the fuzz-free face B thinks he needs.
So like all good multi-taskers, the pair decides to eat fried chickpeas and hve their faces groomed at the same time. Is there something slightly disgusting about eating food while having someone remove your friends hair with a thread? Maybe? Does it matter if the falafels are delicious? Thought so.
Busting My Ovaries
Bethenny's at the beach about 10 minutes before Cookie tries to eat someone's face, which is probably a record (because it actually took longer than I expected). But while one child is running rampant, the other Is being stupendously adorable. Bryn is putting hats on her head, talking in sentences and being the cutest. Since B is stuck at the kids' table it's good that Bryn is working on her conversation skills and speaking in full sentences. She's the baby! Just like the dinosaur baby from Dinosaurs.
Besides just eating and watching Bryn be precious, the gals are also boating -- not to much success. I've paddle boated, and I don't want to say that these women had a faulty paddle boat or one too many margaritas -- because it looks like maybe they were just terrible at it. No more seafaring for this crew.
After surviving their three-hour tour the gals head to The Sloppy Tuna. In the cannon of Bravo beach bar names, this might be the greatest. It just tees up so many terrible puns and conversations that it might top Fat Turtle (of "Turtle Time" fame). And as if the Sloppy Tuna imagery wasn't enough, there was also some sort of small entertainer who maybe thought Bethenny was Danielle (Who was Danille?!? It will haunt me). And then he figured it out, she's not Danielle -- she's Ben Franklin! Obvs! Not only did she invent the Skinnygirl margarita, she also invented electricity.
But it wasn't all sloppy tunas and boat rides, B also got serious discussing her step-father and if she should reconnect with him. It'll be interesting to see if she does open her circle up after all.
And that's it. I'm crying exactly like that small child who didn't want to leave Montauk. But we'll be back next week. Until then, leave your ideas for other slightly perverse, nautical bar names in the comments.The Crab Hole?