Bethenny Frankel

Bethenny discusses the botched boat cruise and shakes the haters off.

on Mar 20, 20120

What is there to say about the "ship of fools" episode? Jason and I had been going through a rough time, and it sometimes felt like rock bottom. Then you get trapped on a boat together and you realize what's important and how you would react in an emergency. I suppose the take-away is to not let your relationship get to an emergency state to figure out what matters.

It was so amazing that we didn't even argue once. The trip was so much worse than was even shown, and I wanted to scream and rip my hair out, but neither of us even came close to blaming the other or engaging in an argument.

I was so sad and concerned about my beautiful baby girl, and I just wanted to get to safe land so our family could be together.

Thankfully I'm married to a man who is there for you through thick and thin and who really loves and accepts me for who I am. It isn't perfect, and there will always be crappy times, but we work on it every day. It's who we are. It's what we do, and I can't compare it to anyone else. You never know what goes on behind closed doors. I've just chosen to open up mine to you.

137 comments
dwplays4fun
dwplays4fun

Bethenny, I don't have many people that I do admire but your are on the top spots of a very short list. Marriage is very hard, especially under the watching, judging eyes of everyone who thinks they know you better than you do yourself. Your mother literally makes me sick to my stomach. How dare she. Classic case of wanting to ride on your famous curtails; which she has absolutely no right to do; but wants us to think she been left out for her versions of her truth. Just wait maybe she will say some to the press that is obvious slander and you can shut her mouth. I do know that she did do you one favor .... she thought exacly how you did not want to treat your own daughter. Only mothers feel this "ache" in the heart when you have a girl.... everything changes. Your priorities change naturally as maternal bonding jumps and is sad some mothers are so broken, self-fish or what ever going on turns out more than importantant than they child. Up to us to break that cycle. Beautifull Bryn I think will be just fine with all the strong women around her.

EG with lots in common
EG with lots in common

Holy Crap! Some of these people need some serious therapy...this is a comment section not place to write an autobiography! Look, I got married Late, had kids Late, didn't ever think I even wanted marriage or kids (found out I did)..have an up and down marriage with toxic family members (on my side) and severely demanding mom in law that AFTER 20 freakin years has FINALLY backed the hell off on all these family things that we have to attend..appear..etc. I was, am and probably will always be married to a Jewish MAMA's BOY.. Im Catholic and sure as hell did not know what i was getting into. There are times you think just what the hell was I thinking and other times geez I can't do this without him.. It takes a while to get balance and to be truthful its never equal..... WHY? because WE ARE WOMEN and we manage to do it all..because we CAN! The most valuable thing in your life are your girl friends (or Gay male friends) Keep your relationships going, that will be your sanity...also leave the toxic people out of your life..it took me years to figure that out and from the wisdom of my 93 year old aunt..."sometimes it just isn't worth the pain of getting sucked back into someone else's drama".. well i guess i wrote my own autobiography.. good luck and I really appreciate your wit and humor...your show actually makes me laugh out loud! EG

R.N.
R.N.

Bethenny, Take these comments with the introspection they are written with. People are interested in your life because as a successful woman, all of us women strive to be successful regardless of what we endeavor to do. Best of luck to you and your family. I too am estranged from my mother, and thank God I have had the insight not to expose my children to her. The cycle of abuse stopped with both myself and my little sister. We chose to give our children a calm, happy environment. Without mother.

ryanfan
ryanfan

No advice from here: the wise don't need it and fools won't heed it. But just want to say that your show is very entertaining. You are an amazing person with an amazing life!

P.S. Is Dr. Amador available?

observ
observ

Bethenny. If you cut out all the noise your mother made about you and just put together everything you said about your mother publicly, how would it sound? Just look at your own attitude toward your mother and reflect on it. Your mother is not under your control. But you are in control on how you expose yourself in your treatment of your mother. Last episode with your doctor appears as if he is trying to find a place in your life where you had any kind feeling for your mom. He failed. It seems that you just never had any warm feelings for your mom, dad or father in law. Many kids growing up with working moms and dads feel alone. I am just waiting for that moment in your life where you can pool yourself into the ‘fly above’ moment and start behaving with self respect when it comes to you mother, father, step father, whoever else was in your life when you were a child. If your mother speaks negatively of you, it is her way to suck you into this negativity. And she gets what she wants because your then show your ability to speak badly. In that respect you are not better then she is. This public display of confrontation showing your weaknesses. If you want to be the winner and not the victim, then stop bushing your mom. Speaking of her looks and saying you feel ashamed of the way she looks is not a behavior of a winner. Look how Khloe and Lamar are dealing with his father. Khloe in that respect a much wiser kid then you are. Watch and learn. Acceptance and understanding will be your winning ticket to be a bigger person and flying above will be your freedom. You can’t quite make into a great person without it.

Annie Ward
Annie Ward

I think you are a fantastic role model for young women out there. Though so not fair you have such a gorgous figure..It is part genes, what you eat, and exercise. You take care of yourself which is great for your daughter. You are so smart and a hard worker. You made it on your own wits. I believe your Mother is just so jealous of u and if she can make a dime at your expense it will happen. I know u know her character better than anyone. You justhave to let the hate go. Avoid anything negative coming from her. Don't even listenshe needs to be white noise. Not every woman is cut out to be a good Mom and she is one of those people. Many can give birth but can not parent. It is obvious you are a great Mom. Keep up the good work and thanks for letting us share in your life. Everyone has their ups and downs or they wouldn't be human just focus most on the happy times. Bless you and your lovely family.

Tusense96761
Tusense96761

SEX and marriage with a new baby- when we had our first and oly baby, I remember being alot like you, I just wasn't into it. I think after much thought, I came up with this- well first of all I was 43 years old when he was born. I was exhausted from the never ending schedule, especially those middle of the night feedings, my head would occasionally bump into my son's as sometimes I would nod off during the 3a.m. feeding. Here is why I think I love the need for the intimacy because there is so much of it with a baby. You hold and hugging, burping , rocking, cuddling the baby day and night, you want your body back for the few hours a day you have it-out with the sex. Unfortunately for you, you were a newlywed when you have Bryn, my husband and I had 12 years of sex prior.mso he was understanding. It only gets worst when menopause sets in, I completely lost my sex drive. Wishing you and Jason a way to work this out. You can't fake it, you either want it or you don't, tell him to do the "m" if need be until you are feeling it. Going to fancy hotels gets my juices going though and getting dressed up and feeling pretty. We have always been a 4p.m. kind of couple after the beach for sex.

Chrissy8
Chrissy8

I love your show Bethanny I have been a fan since day one. You and your family are so blessed to have each other. Your baby girl is so beautiful. You have such a knack of words, I often wonder how you are so quick to come out with your one liners. You are such a hard working woman, and I just wanted to say that your mom is probably ill in her head. I know this does not take away your pain, but I admire you so much. I am an older single mom, that has enjoyed my granddaughter for 3 years and with God help we will be blessed with another girl in june of this year. Thanks Bethenny, keep up your great work, and good luck with your new home.

Just another opinion
Just another opinion

Someone here said they did not know if you had time to read these posts. I pray to God that you do not!! This is an edited reality show and Bravo (and you) receive payment as a result of viewership. No one can define a marriage except for the couple in it. I celebrated 15 years of marriage today. I had friends long ago tell me that other friends gave us 5 years "tops". We aren't Ward and June Cleaver. I am a strong personality and my husband is the go-along-to-get-along guy most of the time. (i.e. i'm the biatch and he's the sweetheart - blick!) It is not weakness or condescention or perfection. It's a choice to save the passion for what matters, be it a big decision, intimacy, special occasions, whatever. It can even bring out the best in each other. You can keep your sardonic wit and he can keep his calm 'whatever you want'. Just don't let outsiders tell you either is wrong. There is a saying that you can't pound a square peg into a round hole. You just have to blunt the edges and you're good to go. And what fun it is to have a rough go of it!! :) Life's too short not to enjoy our differences, our relationships (blood and marriage), our friends, our communities...

NEW YORKER
NEW YORKER

GET OVER YOURSELF.YOU JUST LIKE BEING FRONT OF CAMERA.YOUR SO FAKE.CONTROLLING.PLEASE GO A WAY.YOUR MARRIAGE IS NOT GOING TO LAST.JASON IS SO WEAK HE LOOKS LIKE A FOOL.

SusanBL
SusanBL

Bethenny, you are doing the right thing keeping your toxic mother from being involved in your life especially with Bryn. She would only repeat her same behaviors with your daughter causing her damage. Believe me, I tried giving my mother so many second chances and inevitably she did the same thing to my daughter. The only difference this time was that after the first time she did it, she never saw my daughter again. I broke the chain of abuse and you must do the same. A grandparent that is abusive will not be missed by your daughter. Someday, when she is older you can explain to her what your reasons were for keeping her away. She has Jason's parents and that should be enough. Stay strong!

Jules Vern
Jules Vern

I love your show! I have to know the brand of the cami you are wearing on tonight's show. I hate to dress like a mom, but unfortunately I do all the time. Love your sense of style. Sorry this may not relate to this blog!

Realistic
Realistic

People need to check their judgements at the door. This show is not for us to make judgements online about anyone on the show. If you do not agree then do not watch. There is not one person (including myself) that has a CLUE what goes on behind close doors with anyone that is on reality television. Do these people put their lives on television? Yes. Do we have the 24/7 version? NO! For the people who think that they have a dang clue about what the lives of reality tv stars are....GET YOU OUR LIFE!!! If you cannot take something positive from what these people are allowing us to see, then turn off your TV or ZIP IT!!! In ALL reality do you think they really care about what you have to say?

Oreo's Mom
Oreo's Mom

Betheny.. Love your show, and I think you and Jason are great for each other, although I think his issue of being a mama's boy and still putting them first will be harder for him to separate from , more than you needing to feel more safe with a close family. I have found that when someone has not reached adulthood and cannot separate from their parents, no matter how nice they are and great , like Jason, they are more insecure than someone who has not had much of a family like. I would rather be in your shoes being more independet than still being a little kid and needing mommy and daddy for everything...

Marie Greenfield
Marie Greenfield

I have been married for 21 years and please believe me when I say that all marriages have there struggles. Hang on tight to each other and communicate. Maybe the problem should be addressed directly to Jason's parents. I am also married to a man that everyone thinks is perfect. Trust me they are delussional. They only see the man in the public but they don't see the man behind close doors. He is a wonderful person but he has his faults as we all do. Determine in your heart that this marriage is going to work out and really make an effort and it will work out.

Best of luck to your family..

Ann Jones
Ann Jones

It's not that we are naysayers or haters, but for God's sake you have everything you ever wanted, and you still complain. THAT'S what us lowly people down here are thinking...

You Fly GIrl
You Fly GIrl

I am a HUGE fan. You are inspiring, hysterically funny, and a smartass -but right on the mark most times.

I love your show, your precious family and your courage to share your life with us. Some of these commenters on this blog are unbelievable - writing novels about YOUR life, but unlike the rest of us, I guess they are perfect. Seriously people, get over yourselves.

I wish you peace of mind, joy and continued success - you've worked so hard for it. Enjoy your new home!

lilu816
lilu816

"The best steel goes through the hotest fires". It takes alot of energy to hold on to the past (keeping it alive in the now) or rehashing past hurts (this robs us of all our energy). Better to use our energy being the best of our possible each day, focus on love and compassion for yourself first, then all else will follow. When we understand everything is energy then we will understand the dwelling on hurtful acts we are abusing our ownself, we are our own energy vampires when we abuse ourself or hold on to dead energy. People around us can only react to the very energy we are creating with our own thoughts, actions and reactions. Energy is everything. See? When you are gentle with your ownself then the people around you will have gentle actions and reactions too. Jason is mirroring what you are not able to see within yourself. Actions and reactions. Once you becoming more loving with you, within your own mind, all else will follow. Forgive and let go.... live your life (live/evil). We are the captains of our ships. The boat ride make one ponder, was it a reflection? Everyday... "I love my life". :))

lulu Griffin
lulu Griffin

Therapy doesn't seem to be helping....you are so unforgiving and is driving Jason away. Your humor at his expense is not pretty and you do it in front of family and friends....very demoralizing. Can you also not be "on" on the time....your life is not a comedy show. It's very tiring and exhausting.

Basketball10
Basketball10

Atta girl, B, F the haters!! Something Dr. Amadour said that I love, "You like you and you want to be you, but you feel like he's trying to change that sometimes." (Or something to that effect). You're an amazingly strong personality and I absolutely love it. At the end of the day you have to be happy with who you are, and I appreciate that you fight for yourself and stand for what you believe in. Keep believing in yourself and you'll keep doing amazing things. And that beautiful baby girl of your's will see it and love you for it too. Thanks for sharing your life and skinny cocktails with us :)

jo morris
jo morris

I just love the way you two argue you don't say to many mean things at least not on camera.

carolanna
carolanna

jason calls bethany damaged but he is damaged too, she because of bad parenting and he because of the death of his brother,i think that he feels that he needs bethany and bryn to fill the void in his parents life,because of the loss of his brother,and that his parents will fill that parental void that is lacking in bethanys life.but that just not going to work,jason is a grown man,he took bethany for his wife they have a child together,their feeling and well being should be his number one concern.his parents have their own lives i am sure.i get the impression that bethany really cares for jasons parents, but she should not be made to feel guilty if she does not want to visit them every two weeks it should not be turned into an issue. if jason feels that he needs to visit his parents everyweek then he should.jason needs therapy just as much as bethany does. For those people who ask why she did not include his parents for his 40th birthday celebration ? ,because the gift was a day of golf with his best friend, period, nothing more , not a day with all of his freind,not a big party, just he and his best friend, what is wrong with that? he had already celebrated with his parents the night before why do his parents always have to be an issue in there marriage ,he is a big boy now he does not need mommy and daddy to watch him hit the golf ball, And for all of those people who say that she should get over her childhood and the pain that her parents caused her ,obviously had wonderful parent and perfect childhoods because the pain that you suffer in childhood never goes away. you can work through it and learn to live with it but its always stay with you,and no amount of millions of dollars can change that , bethany will always be that little hurt girl. i wish her well.

livi
livi

Hi B,

I like the show and glad yu are showing no marriage, women, or man is perfect. We all have our problems. You have to work at it all the time. Or you can be single and by yourself.

I think you should try to talk with your mom. I too left home at 14 and had abusive parents. But keeping away from the only living biological parent you have is wrong for Bryn and wrong for you. She cant speak now but once she does she will ask about your mother and her grandmother regardless of what kind of relationship you have let Bryn figure her out for herself. Plus you dont want to repeat history and by you not speaking to your mom you are setting an example for Bryn when she gets older. Believe me I was there.

make up with your mom. Life is short.

Livi

blondiegirl
blondiegirl

Bethanny - have you ever sat down and had a moment of Peace? Negative thinking can become a habit, just like smoking, chewing nails, etc. I think you need a moment to pause and make that shift to try and look at life in a more positive way and I think you might find some contentment.

whatmateres
whatmateres

Bethenny, I am content because I know that I have support system around me. And it is not my coworkers or friends (I do have friends). It is this family unit that gives you the sense of 'I matter to them'. When you do not have people to whom you matter, you become insignificant. Nobody really cares if you live or you dye for more then a second. There is one and only one thing you can not put a prize to. It is to matter to someone and to know that you are loved. Your daughter desperately needs this surrounding. The only way she can grow wholesome is if she has people around her that would give up their life for her and surround her with rainbow of care and significance. She will never be lost or feel damaged no matter what comes her way in adulthood if she has this strong foundation of being cherished by loved ones when she was a child. Depriving her of building relationship with her grandparents may undermine her foundation and loose self awareness when put under stress when she is a grown up. If you really that dedicated to Bryn, you would seek the opportunity for her to be around her grandparents. it will secure her strength and sense of importance once she is thrown into the lean-mean worlds of adulthood. Once you are a mother, your needs must be second to hers. Children are not here to make us complete, they are here for us to make them complete. Friends, husbands will never substitute for this family-originated undivided devotion that gives us sense of belonging in this world. If for one second you think that humans can grow up being perfect without this love-support-system, check the studies being done on primates that were grown without love. This is one an only thing no money can buy. You can not find love for your child on the street, buy in the store, and fake it with nannies. In that sense grandparents do poses this priceless gift you child needs life an oxygen to her lungs. You were given this priceless gift of having this perfect set of grandparents. If you dismiss out of your ‘me-first’ attitude, your child will resent you because you

Karina46
Karina46

As someone that also gets seasick (not always, but in rough water), I can understand Jason's reaction at the heliport. Maybe he was more anxious than mad and unwilling to be honest about this "weakness". It's somewhat embarassing, not to mention uncomfortable, vomiting your guts out in front of others. I understand. As for the haters regarding his parents not being invited to his birthday...that's ridiculous. If he couldn't do without them being there, he should have called and invited them. Enough said.

A Real Housewife
A Real Housewife

The past two years have been life altering for both you and Jason. Give yourselves the gift of time. Things can work out but in order for that to happen both of you need to be willing to hear what the other is saying. So Bethenny, my suggestion is to be quiet. Stop talking incessantly, stop with the wisecracks, stop with the crude remarks. It's all a defense mechanisim you seem to employ to keep others at arms length. Be quiet and listen. You might be amazed at what you hear.

reason
reason

Bethenny, I want to give Jason advice. Jason should make sure his parents are celebrating his birthday with family and friends. It should have not be Bethenny who controls it. Jason, hurting your parents is not a choice. Letting Bethenny control how your birthday is organized is your fault. You allowed her to do wrong by your parents. Jason should only blame himself for being a laid back and not proactive in making sure his parents are not left in the cold. Jason knows that Bethenny has a blank spot when it comes to sharing him with his parents. No excuse for Jason for letting Bethenny drive this setting. And it is wrong of Jason to lay it on Bethenny head because his parents are not included. By now Jason knows that leaving it up to Bethenny will end up leaving his parents out of gathering festivity. Jason has to learn how to work around the issues, not dwell on it.

MaLi007
MaLi007

Bethenny...Most of us are a LiL Damaged from our childhood. I was molested@10 and refused to be anyone's victim, cause it would not serve me well to dwell on things I had no control over. Life sometimes sucks in the beginning but it really does get better when you Forgive and Move Fowards&Upwards! Keep working on your marriage and know it's normal to have emotional roller coasters in the beginning...just makes you both stronger and built for the longevity that comes from true love. This Is Something We All Learn the Hard Way...Love is Patient & Needs a Whole Lot of It...LoL! Much Love to You Both;)

Va.Girl
Va.Girl

LOVE....LOVE the show!!!!! You are so fortunate to have a wonderful future before you. Love Jason and B. Nothing is perfect .. that included Jason and YOU. Good news... that is OK. Just, take time for each other. Stop working so hard.. you have made it. Something I recently learned (I'm 62 my life has been difficult) "Don't allow your past to ddetermine your future". Every day is a new day.. love your family. Love a sincere Fan. Love you

BostonGirl88
BostonGirl88

Hi Bethenny,

I'm sure you don't have time to read any of these comments. You and Jason have a lot of courage to put it all out there and have a million people watching and judging you. It's not something I could do. Having said that, I'm going to add my two cents.

I'm not saying that Jason is abusive.

However, do you think that if you HAD invited his parents to his birthday that he would have said goodnight and gone to sleep, or do you think that he would have found something ELSE to jab you about?

Do you think that if only you had done everything perfect, he would not have jabbed you? Think again.

You could have done everything perfectly, invited his parents, whatever. He still would have found a reason to stick his tongue out at you right before going to sleep.

You could spend the next five or six years trying to change yourself to become the kind of person whom he would not need to jab, but save yourself the effort. You’ll only end up driving yourself crazy.

I’m not saying Jason is abusive, but he may be on the very low end of the spectrum. Appearing to be Mr. Perfect to the public and acting very different when you are alone is classic behavior of an abuser. and there are many forms of abuse. Of course, he doesn't raise his hand to you.

In your spare time (ha ha) you may find helpful: Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft. Or Love Without Hurt by Steven Stosny, the first chapter is called Walking on Eggshells.

Best of luck. I enjoy watching your show!

Music
Music

Totally unrelated and completely superficial: Love your fashion sense, Bethenney and Jason. You both look so great; sharp, chic, casual, cool. It's a pleasure.

Aloha808
Aloha808

LET GO OF THE PAST!!!

You are seriously driving your husband CRAZY and someday (soon) he'll leave you if you don't get a grip. Wise up!

Becky R.
Becky R.

To add to my post - Bethenny, I too had a bad childhood and I don't think one ever gets over it. You have my sense of humor, people think I'm funny but it's my way of hiding pain. I've gone to therapy, but was never able to get past being entertaining so I quit. People don't understand that not being loved as a child truly messes you up. Hang in there!

Becky R.
Becky R.

I've been a fan since RHNY and have watched you struggle to attain all that you'd hoped and dreamed for. I certainly hope you and Jason work things out because you are a family. My husband's an only son and I loved his parents and enjoyed being with them. They died in a tragic accident and would give anything to have them back, that they could've been in our son's life. We never know if loved ones are going to be here tomorrow and I know my husband was thankful for the short time we had together as a married couple and how much I truly loved them. I hope you let Jason's parents into your life, or that it is not an issue to argue about. Trust me, I know how import it is to do so.

AHop
AHop

Hi Bethanny, I am honestly amazed by how good you look, seriously, jaw on the floor amazed. Your body is AMAZEballs and you have great hair. You are 40+ on TV AND hilarious AND stunning with cutting wit and inspirational style. I would give you the female equiv of George Clooney. Thank you for proving that it CAN BE DONE. You give career women like myself in their 30s hope that their is (an enviable) life after being 30, alone, with only a career as a bedfellow. Cheers.

ViewerB
ViewerB

Hey Bethenny - I saw the previews for next week. Wish I could get in touch with you directly. About your mother - she is a classic case of borderline personality disorder if I ever saw one. Join us here at this online support group. Nobody has to know it's you - you'll find many kindred spirits there.

If someone sees this who can give this directly to Bethenny, please do -

http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=7.0

Viewer1953
Viewer1953

I'm so hopeful that the boat trip will help Jason see just how much he does love Bethenny and will begin to treat her with more respect. He shouldn't be saying negative things to her.

cyr
cyr

Some of the people on here are really mean, it's ridiculous. As viewers we see just a little bit of this woman's life, none of us know her. It's dumb to tell her to get over her childhood or tell her how to be with her family and in-laws. Your childhood literally shapes who you become as an adult- take a psychology class people!

Jeanne Ryan
Jeanne Ryan

You are so graceful flying above all the haters. Jelousy is such an ugly look and those jelous haters should look in the mirro and see how green is not a good color and envy makes you evil!! It is sad that your mom said the things she did for her own gain, and that pain surely runs deeper than stranger haters!! Thank you for being willing to be yourself, to spite haters and jelous biznatches. You are someone who has worked hard and achieved your dreams and I am so happy for you. Live it up and you deserve all the icing on the cake! You know who your true friends are and that is what matters! I look forward to the fun episodes to come XOXO :)

lukkygrl
lukkygrl

I feel compelled to comment because my husband and I have watched Bethenny Ever After together and he keeps looking at me wide eyed because the things she says and does sound like me! We've had some of the same struggles. I am a 6+ figure, successful woman who's first marriage was @ 43. My background: I was successful in a mail dominated profession (read: potty smart mouth), have a "say it like it is" personality, gregarious, athletic, love to travel, plenty of friends, serial dater. Frankly, I was good with the no marriage thing. Then came "HIM". Hubby was/is kind when I'm exacting, generous with time & effort, and frankly my best friend. ALL THAT said, there are REAL issues we've had to work through. The two I see you guys struggling with:

1) I"M RIGHT, YOU'RE CRAZY: I've had the "You married a strong personality, don't expect me to suddenly not have an opinion" speech. It took hubby awhile to not see me as "wrong" because we saw things differently. Making you feel crazy for not seeing things his way is passive aggressive manipulation. You guys can/will learn to disagree without assigning blame or making the other feel crazy for disagreeing.

2)NO REALLY, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WITH MY PARENTS ALL THE TIME: (again, you're crazy) I grew up with two loving parents who EXPECTED me to have a life, see them when I could, with no guilt trip. My presence was welcome but not required. Hubby came from a controlling family - you WILL be here for all holidays. You hurt my feelings for not calling yesterday...etc. That was his "normal". You guys got married ~40. Sharing your life with a partner doesn't mean including his parents for every significant life moment. Not at 40. Bethenny, you're not crazy to want some nuclear family "alone" time. Seems like you HAVE given a lot in seeing Jason's family every couple of weeks. Yes, the grandparents need a relationship with their grandchild. I'll take a lot of heat for this, but to me, Jason's relationship with them is "not normal". Until Jason makes the mental shift that YOU and Bryn are his family. His priority needs to shift to building memories with the three of you, including his parents as much as you're both comfortable with. They should not be included by default in every important moment of your life. You need boundaries. My relationship test is always "Are you coming from a good place?" I believe both you and Jason are. You guys are gonna make it. Fly above the haters.

Blues Mama
Blues Mama

Bethanny love the show you are a breath of fresh air compared to all the real housewife drama! Don't listen for one minute to the people that say I will no longer watch or I rarely watch anymore! Ha then how do they know what's going on! What a bunch of Haters dribble.... Live your life Girl and don't give a S#\[ what people say about you! That is their opinion! Rock on.....

Brandy W
Brandy W

No relationship is the same or perfect. We as married couples all go through our ups and downs. It's how you come out of it that makes you stronger! Marriage is a constant work in progress. If it were easy everyone would do it! You two are committed to each other and to making it work! You haven't run away from it all when it got hard! You stuck it out and are probably stronger as a couple because of it! As for these people here making comments about your family and how you are constantly putting them down, they can go fly a kite!! They haven't lived your life. They only see a small portion of what really goes on. You went to see your father on his death bed, some people ask why? You don't need to give a reason. He was your father and you had your reasons. As long as you can live with your decisions than no one else needs to understand or know why. If they don't like it they don't have to watch! Life is short! Enjoy your beautiful family, cherish the moments with your husband and soak uo every moment with your daughter. They grow so fast. I have four children and my oldest is soon to be 12 and my youngest is 2. I remember the oldest as a baby. Relish those moments, ignore the haters they will only bring you down. Live your life without regrets! Regarding Jason's parents. If I may only give a little piece of advice. Growing up I didn't have loving grandparents that wanted to be around all that much. When I had kids they were no where to be found. My mother in-law sometimes drives me up a wall but she and my father in-law love my children with all their hearts. So, no matter how hard or how much she drives me crazy at times, she loves my kids unconditionally and that's all that matters. I can deal with the crazy as long as they have her in their life! Grandparents have a different kind of love that every child should experience! Enjoy them too and let them get to share in Bryn's milestones. Not that you haven't or don't. They seem to really love you too! You are worthy of their love and they seem to want to give it! Enjoy! Love!!!!

lydia wright
lydia wright

bethany..watching that episode really helped me ..im in 2nd year of marriage with a 15 month old babygirl...its friggin hard..we are in a tough spot right now..so i get it!!!!..thank u for sharing ur story with us because it helps.....i totally cried when u saw ur baby for the first time after the boat..oh god ive never left my daughter overnight..i wouldve been just like u ..not letting her go!!! bethany ur a great mom and wife and i enjoy watching u every week ..i look forward to it..:)

kahala
kahala

I get seasick everytime I get on a ferry boat (Staten Island Ferry and Cape May Ferry from Delaware) so my heart went out to Jason. That is the most God awful feeling in the world. All the best to you in working out your little marriage 2-year adjustment period -- you can handle it. Bryn in her little pink tutu at the dancing school was just about the cutest thing I've seen on tv in a very long time.

alytowns
alytowns

For everyone asking why Bethanny didnt include Jasons parents in on his bday celebration, she clearly stated he was with his parents 2 days prior, and she planned a golf outing for him, why would his parents attend that? I really enjoy this show and I really cannot even believe how jealous and negative the majority of you bloggers are.......you ladies must be so unhappy in life. If your interested in posting negative comments, tune over to the housewives, like Vicki......or Tamra, They are MEAN.....I havent seen Bethanny do anything mean.

Tusense96761
Tusense96761

I was going to start off with a comment, like Bethenny why don't you just spend more time with Jason's parents, I guess because I feel sorry for them that they lost a son. Then I would have said, Jason stop trying to push Bethenny's buttons, which I think you think is funny, well maybe sometimes it is, but not always. Then the words," you're damaged" keep going through my head, and that hurts, really hurts, especially since Bethenny is somewhat sensative to her upbringing and her crazy Mother. Bethenny you can't let Jason define you, and if he says that you should respond like the doc said and say "that's hurtful". I don't think Jason would have married you if he thought you were damaged. The question is why does he want to hurt you? Did you do something prior that hurt him. Another thing I found when I was drinking two to three glasses of wine a night after I'd get home from work to unwind from the day, I turned into a mean drunk. Not stumbling, slurring words drunk, just 2 to 3 or maybe a bottle over 5-6 hours. But when we'd fight, I got mean. I made more money than my husband so that bothered me. He didn't have ambition, while I was overly motivated, loved my work, workaholic. I constantly put him down. My Mom would say be careful what you say, you can't ever take back those words and you are may be going at his manhood. I didn't know it was the alcohol and would never had admitted it if someone suggested it. He never said your drunk or you mean because you have been drinking . I figured it out much later on. My husband has never drank. He doesn't hurt me with words, belittling words. I am so sensative and not as smart as him , I'd crumble. But he is a control freak about everything, mostly money. He would say you can't do the grocery shopping because all you buy is cleaning supplies and no meals. You can't hang that painting there. He would never clean his crap off the coffee table, ever. I got three hours a week, while he was at church I remove everything on that coffee table and put it back right before he came home. He wasn't ever going to let go of that. We had a dog that I loved too, but it peed , marked all over the house, I wanted to get rid of the dog before we had the baby, I mean Bethenny, it would be me before the dog that would have to go. Mby sister gave me the dog because we lost a baby we were going to adopt two weeks before Christmas. So he usually wins, if not always, he is always right, he knows all the answers. If something of his is missing or touched he screams. I honestly believe he has an explosive personality disorder. For many, many years I would scream back, " shut the f up, you F. In assh. He would never give in, ever or I. Like you and Jason the same fight over and over. He was 38 when we married and I was 30. My regular doctor would say to me, " why fight, go take a walk, but I couldn't , I would escalate it...to no avail. The next day, like brother and sister we would just forget about it. I was brought up with very good ethics, honestly, but my son's has learned from me how to be sneaky. Not that he is yet, he is 11, but I would say leave that toy I bought you outside in the front because Daddy will just yell. He would say no Mom, I want to bring it in, let Dad yell. As he got older I came across an article that fighting in front of your children is child abuse. So now everytime he yells I say that. My health is not that good now and I don't have the strength to fight, but he still does, so we came up with a plan if either of us yells in front of my son, we have to pay him a dollar. I go back and forth love and hate relationship, but I don't think there is anyone in the world that loves me more. He is very religious and would never cheat on me. And my son still has his father and it is good more than it is bad, I am also not well enough to take care of my son physically or financially now. We have been married 25 years. I think our worst fight was on the 25 th anniversary. My son for some reason grew up hearing that fight and wanted to protect me and wanted us to leave him. Back to you guys, I started out advising you Bethenny about giving in on Jason's parents, but then remembered what I did, We left his Mother who lived close by, her husband my husband's father died when my husband was 18. My son was eighteen months old when my husband wanted to move back to Maui. My Mom lived nearby in Calif. too, but my Mom had a lot of daughters nearby. My husband was an only child. So I am as bad or worse than you Bethenny. Even though it was what my husband wanted, his Mother blamed me. You know what I thought though, I am glad we are moving because I don't have the energy to be going to each of their houses each week and if I move away, they will get mad at me once not all the time. Also I didn't want to be critiqued on my parenting skills. Like you B. I wanted my own little family. I told them and they did come every year for a while to visit, my Mom would stay 2 to 3 months, but my mother in law sometimes would get mad at me because I wasn't paying enough attention to her and threaten to leave early. You can win. I am 55, if I got divorced, I wouldn't want to remarry, but I don't want to get divorced, I don't want to fight either, but we are just very strong willed people. I hate fighting, but I love him. He never hits me below the belt, he never attacks me personally, I think it would hurt my self esteem and I need all of that as especially as we age. Some type of fighting is dirty fighting. Therapy is always good, I have gone for my husband just a few times. I know Jason loves his parents and wants to share the baby. But at this point she almost a little girl. I also know Jason is trying to be two sons for his Mom and that is not fair to Jason or to you. Jason should take a look at how each of his parents treated their parents when they got married and had kids. Both my parents moved away from theirs from Chicago to N.Y. You both have to live your own life. Your parents have each other, they have their friends. Stop trying to take your parents pain away about your brother, I know you love them and want to share your life with them but don't let it bust up your marriage. Bethenny is a typical daughter in law. Most don't become best friends with their Mother in law. My Mother in law is a loving Women but she can be critical, her son is never wrong, and a lot of what I do is never right. I don't feel like being critiqued all the time.

LesleyWillard
LesleyWillard

Bethenney, I enjoy you, your energy, your ambition and your relationships so much. You really lead with honesty. As someone a bit older than you who has earned the lines around her face that have withstood countless Botox and Juvederm injections, please let me offer a lesson that took too long for me to learn: you don't have to be acknowledged as being right. In fact, pushing to be acknowledged as being right diminishes you in the long run. You may be the smartest one in the room but being stressed and hurt and lonely in your relationships is not worth trying to prove that you are right. If the other person is fighting you on the issue, it is because they love you enough to want to be HEARD. Own your position quietly but open your heart and mind to the other's perspective. You fell in love with Jason for the differences and balance he brings to you and because he loves you completely and accepts you for you. But when he expresses a different perspective, you immediately perceive it as a criticism, and in your hurt, you pound him for how he was wrong to have a different opinion and try to prove to him that his feelings are wrong. How can his feelings be wrong? when they're his feelings? His wonderful birthday with his friends was awesome and clearly appreciated. Yet knowing that Jason enjoys his parent's company and that his birthday is a celebration of his birth into their family forty years, including his parents would be honoring Jason and respecting his feelings. Also, please consider what you are teaching Bryn about loving and communicating and respecting. Her daddy is who she will model her heroes after and if she watches you fight and cry and become hysterical when you escalate a meaningless argument, you ultimately teach her to be disrespectful of her dad when she disagrees with him.

Theonethingilearnedintherapy
Theonethingilearnedintherapy

You get to control HOW you react to other's actions, I was asked in therapy ( at 18) "who do I want to be when I grow up?" someone who's daddy did them wrong? While going down a useless revenge fueled path, I stopped at that question. What happened in the past CAN define you, only if you LET it! I do see a major hypocritical theme, you don't want to see Jason's parents but you want to be the world to Bryn. God help her husband that doesn't want to see HER parents once a month!!! The complaining has got to stop. Stop talking about your mother and focus on who you want to be when you grow up.......I am so happy for your success and can't wait to see your apartment. Hoping that the rest of the season is you & Jason enjoying the spoils of your hard work and having FUN! You said once " I never thought I'd get everything I always wanted.....all at once" now you do, HAVE some fun for godssake!!!!