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The couple's massage was typical us: morons. We find humor in the simplest things. That's who we are very often when we're together and not bickering with each other.
My birthday dinner was perfection: the place, the people, the intimacy. That was my idea of pure bliss.
I need to end on one final note. I am so thankful to you my loyal and devoted fans. The show is true and real, and it is difficult for you (and I) to watch. I read all of your emails and Tweets and Facebook posts and I really appreciate your advice. I know many of you relate and understand -- and some of you don't. Sometimes I get in my own way. I definitely beat myself up. I constantly try to evolve, but this is who I am.
I value you all so much. Thanks for watching. It makes it all worth it.
My only "comment" would be that this is so painful to watch that I'm not sure I can anymore. I love Bethenny, Jason and Bryn and wish them all that life has to offer, but I can't keep tuning in and watching this family implode.
All the Best xoxo Jean
Bethenny, You are as real as it gets. Thank you for that. It's natural for people to want to filter things knowing that there's a camera recording your every move. Somehow, in spite of that awareness, you allow your true self to be seen- not an easy feat to accomplish, and i'm guessing that's why so many people gravitate toward you. I've heard people on other shows ask each other, "Why didn't you just call me instead of making it public?"(self-editing, wanting to keep stuff off camera) I've never heard you say that once! More than once, you've had tears in my eyes. Keep being you. You are a wonderful wife and mom and person. Cheers to you!
It is so hard to watch Jason and you struggle. I hope that you can both find your way to a happier place very soon.
Bounty Bringing Bethenny:
Am moved to say again, out of all the cast members from jump within the Housewives franchise, you and you alone bring the precious amalgam of: brilliance/off the hook cognitive rpms; fascinating (because everything fascinates/engages you); wondrous complexity, authenticity & acuity… the courage to manifest all of it; deadly humor and self abrogation…and, no surprise, you have STYLE…meaning you are in no way a pitiable slave of fashion relegated to trying to make labels pass for either style or class; you look every bit as fab in a perfectly chosen in $40 skirt as anyone does in a 40K couture gown.
The conventional marriage model which let’s face, it doesn’t work that well in general, may not be for you. But in real ways, you and Jason balance each other. Re his underlying issues about self esteem (and so, his fear of loosing you) and HIS VERSION OF “NOT HAVING MADE IT”……soooo important to get, THE OBJECT IS TO FIND WORK YOU LOVE. Could be dry wall or carpentry, it does not matter. Because if you don’t, whatever you make will never be enough.
For me, YOU are Bravo’s finest moment…..and yr intensity and ruthless self examination (I identify) are simply part of who you are---you even chose an uncommonly gifted therapist…please stop driving yourself crazy! Well….AS crazy.
Lady B, you are such a delight. Your struggles in your marriage despite having so much financial success is a reminder to the rest of us that money doesn't magically fix everything. It's pretty clear that you & Jason love each other madly (OK maybe not the best adverb) and you will surely work through these growing pains. Your love for Bryn is inspiring and beautiful -- she's showing you what true love is all about and it warms the heart to see you so happy around her. Keep going girl, and please stop doubting that you deserve to be loved. You've earned all the wonderful that is your life and we the viewers love to love you!
Loved your couples's massage, please do that more often , it brings Jason and you together and when the two of you are happy, it makes me happy
Missed last nights show but I wanted to comment on last week...when you were in your therapist's office I swear it was my words coming out of your mouth. Yes, you may have issues that are a result of your past but know that Jason has issues that hinder your communication too. Even though he came from a wonderful family, that doesn't mean he's without flaws. He's not perfect and you're not damaged...you are who you are as a result of life. Stay true to who you are and don't you dare change. Love your show and my best to the both of you and your beautiful Bryn. Keep showing the therapy sessions...I'm hoping to find some answers about myself - haha...:)
Bethenny love you and your family. I can only hope that Jason understands that he is also part of the problem and has his issues, it is not only you. If he recognizes that and is willing to work on himself then I think you two have a chance, it is in his hands as much as it is on yours.
Show is very difficult to watch. No joy, no light, you have it all now + look miserable and breathe like you can't catch your breath. Your blog speaks more about Ra Ra.....who's asking?? And 2 sentences regarding the real issue, your relationship. Jason's passive/aggressive and doesn't see it, and appears to have huge resentment towards you for ?? we only know what you allude to, your major trust issues especially regarding having him as a real partner financially. I guess it was easier to give/share your heart when you had nothing, now there is barbed wire around it. Let go of your control, let go of your armor, love deeply. Bring the Bethenny we fell in love with back.
Bethenny, I LOVE watching you. You are so real and aren't afraid to be who you truly are, just because you are on TV. That is so nice to see. Your daughter is beyond beautiful, as is your whole family. Watching you and Brynn (spell?) snuggle on that sofa outside in Mexico, I just wanted to snuggle you both because you two just looked so calm and relaxed!
Bethenny I love you and Jason, and I feel I need to tell you that the solution to your marital problems will never come from Psychotherapy. You see, the secret to a successful relationship (a successful life) is KILLING THE EGO. The ego is the root of everything that is wrong with humanity. The problem with Psychotherapy (and I do love me some Dr. Amador; he seems like such a lovely man) is that it indulges the ego and gives it what it craves: YOUR ATTENTION. By constantly exploring and discussing "how you FEEL", "what you WANT", you are always looking at the lies that the ego is trying to tell you: that you are in a quest to get that which you need, when the reality is that YOU ALREADY HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED. You have to open your eyes to the true reality and there you will find that which you think you were looking for. But first you have to take your eyes off the ego.
Hope this helps Bethenny; I have loved you from day one watching you on RHONY.
Your constant digs and mentioning of Julie leaving at the drop of a hat is in very poor taste. It seems as though you are very better about it and you've grown cold to her, even in your blogs. You may not mean it that way, but that's the way it comes out. You're going to push her away and you'll regret it one day.
You're a person I can relate to in that if there isn't a problem you have to make one. You feel you should always be worrying or addressing something. You are the reason you and Jason constantly fight and it's very plain to see. Try a therapy session without cameras and maybe you'll get somewhere.
I've always liked you but your constant one liners, your constant cutting people off when they speak and the need to take over every conversation is growing unbearable. Don't know if I can watch anymore
we love you bethenny and everyone goes through this! We are praying and routing for you and your amazing family and team! Love you
Bethenny, It was hard to watch you and Jason in such a bad place. Not that I don't understand it- I think most people who are (or have been ) married would get it. Easy to sit back and observe and think of what you "should" do, but it's never that easy. I kept thinking of the wedding, of when Bryn was born and how funny you and Jason can be together. I just hope you can both think of those good times and get past the growing pains of marriage. A good sense of humor can get us through a LOT of bad times. Wishing you and your family the best.
Hi Bethenny: Hope this email finds you and your family well. I have never written on a blog or to an actor/actress before but I wanted to say something to you after viewing the episodes shown thus far this season. Be gentle, soft, love yourself, bring in the feminine. I feel as though you are self-sabotaging your happiness, as though deep down you don't believe you deserve all that life is offering you. You describe yourself using harsh words. Life is about learning about oneself and the area(s) in a person's life that is perceived as the most challenging...is in fact the area that Life/Universe/God wants you to pay attention to :) Remember, you create your world. You attracted the people in your life so you can learn and grow and expand. Lastly, those who hurt you the most in this lifetime are the souls that love you the most (eternally). Love and light, Gail
I love you! You are such an inspiration to not only young girls but also career women. I have to tell you my husband and I have been together for six years. We bicker a lot like you and Jason. It makes me smile because I realize there are other couples who bicker like us! Thank you so much for inviting us all into your life home and marriage.
I've watched every episode of RHNY, your own spin off series, and read your book. I usually stay out of peoples relationships; but something about this past episode reminded me of my husband and I, in the first few years of our marriage. When I think back, and recall the growing pains, and the drama, I cringe. Fifteen years later, we still nit pick, and bicker, and I'm still a control freak; but I know neither of us could find a better partner.
I think you and Jason can have as much chance as anyone, to have a viable, and secure marriage. The first several years are very challenging for every newlywed, and adding children into the equation doubles the challenges, in my opinion. Marriage, and child rearing, are two separate, dynamics, and it's not easy to split yourself equally between the two. In my own experience, until my child was in high school, my husband generally got the smaller piece of my, 24/7 attention pie. What are you going to do? You only get one chance to raise your child.
I think if you and Jason, can respect your marriage partnership, as seriously, as you respect a business partnership; you can make it work. Refuse to fail. Don't think if you bicker, you're marriage is doomed, or everyone is happier than you are. The marriage you have today, isn't the marriage you will have in five, or ten years. It takes work, as does a business, and it can grow, and thrive, if you, and your partner invest yourself in it. Remember your sentiment, on "coming from a place of yes".
There is no perfect man out there, Bethenny; not even Jason, and you love him. Jason knows how imperfectly, perfect you are,and he loves you. You both know how perfectly, perfect Bryn is, and you both love her to pieces and would die for her. You, Jason, and Bryn, really can, live happily ever after.
Bethany, I dnt know where you are now, Im watching the show from last night... I had an eye opener in my own marriage just this past wekend. When a couple is commited 100% in a marriage, any fighting or "disgushtion" should be to better the couple. Fighting to defend ourselves in order for one of us win, causes us both to loose, bc now the marriage is hurt. The "We" is hurt when one "wins." Does that make sense? Love= patience, kind, gentleess, unselfishnes... Yet a marriage contains imperfect people. Plus bc we love eachother the most, we will hurt eachother the most. So many times I felt, feel, like eveything is against the "we." Even myself at times. I have to know that my husband can not and will not satisfy all of my needs on his own bc he is not perfect. Nor I for him. For my marriage we brought God in who can satifsy both of us. Sometimes, I feel like I am keeping my vows in the marriage for Him, and not my husband. I dnt know if you can relate or not to that, but it definitly gets the stress of being perfect for eachother off. Then we can truly except one and other with all of our faults and continue to move forward with the love and desire to build a family and life together. He is my husband, a strong fmaily memebe,r and I would not leave any family member. My spanish/italian roots are deep and once I saw my husband as a family memeber, the thought of giving up and leaving made me sick. "I would never divorce my sisters, brother, or son!!" was the thought I had. I hope things turn around for you and Jason. I thought when I got marriaged I would learn so much about him; however, I learned more about my selfishness then I ever wanted to know. I never thought I could be that mean to anyone, let alone him! Its hard to love in all sence of the word, but so worth it when one really gives it. It becomes a cycle and easier for the other to resiprocate.
I feel for Jason. He is such a calm peaceful,person. I'm sorry Beth, but you have some issues. Don't become your mother, and nurture you family relationship.
After this season of your show, I am appalled at the fighting between you and Jason. It is uncomfortable to watch. I have often turned it off before the episode ends. There seems to be no real sense of compromise between you. Too many issues from your childhood impede your ability to allow yourself to enjoy and develop a trusting relationship. I'd rather watch Guiliana and Bill. They've been through so much, but it is still fun to watch their playfulness, and the love between them.
I am sad, in a way..because I think your picking the wrong things..It's great you have someone who loves your child that much. It's sad that this need to expose your life like this over rides, the needs of your family. Your husband and daughter shares you with millions of strangers, It makes me wonder how does your story turn out. I can't watch this anymore, for I am enabling a potential disaster in the making..the love of being important, and having money to relationships. I wish you the best, I hope for you life to be filled with happy moments with the people who love you most..I hope that one day your family rates more than all this.
Bethenny, you are so real and transparent and that is why I watch you. Marriage is challenging and I imagine more so when you are in the public eye or dealing with your demanding schedule. My first two years of marriage have been so challenging. I launched my company (thanks to your inspirational living/books) and I am constantly busy. Sometimes I am really selfish and don 't give my husband the time and attention he needs. (and intimacy) Those are for sure the days he doesn't help me with small things or allow me any grace for my moodiness. My husband is similar to Jason in that he is so supportive and giving and doesn't say anything until its a problem. The most important thing is we love each other and we aren't going anywhere. Marriage is a promise. So we will keep fighting it out by trial and error and do our best to meet in the middle. I will try to show him I want him and be the "giving" wife even if its not on the top of my list. I guess they need it much more than us!
Your bickering is not very healthy!
Your deep insecurity and extreme neediness seem to be the main source of the problem. . . Please wise up or risk losing Jason!
(I don't know of anyone who would stick around and put up with your obnoxious behavior forever. Life is much too short to live that way!)
I love watching you because you are real! I wanted to say I am 38 years old, I have been with my man since I was 18 years old. We bicker almost everyday, whats nice is we bicker but always find our way back to each other. I think we bicker cause we can, we know at ther end of the day that we love each other and wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Try never go to bed mad, we can bicker all day but at bedtime it's always a kiss and a "I Love You" because at the end of the day that is whats important. I think some bickering is good, who wants to bottle it all up and be resentful. I think the key is to say what the problem is, talk about and put it to bed ( don't keep talking about it ). Which I will admit isn't the easiest thing to do, but well worth it. You have a wonderful family, keep it your #1 priority and your marriage will succeed. P.S. good choice with picking RaRa, it is so important that there is a established relationship between the child and adult providing the care. You want someone to love your child as much as you do, and I would say RaRa loves your daughter.
I don't even know where to begin. As many viewers/fans have said in the past and will in the future - you are such an inspiration. Your work ethic and your ability to take life by the horns no matter what is thrown at you keeps me trucking along some days. I was in PA school when I first started watching the Real Housewives of NYC. I was never really into reality shows but you seemed like a truly genuine person who wasn't trying to create drama on purpose for the show. The show was the highlight in my week of non-stop studying and constantly being around drama at school. Your one-liners and ability to keep going inspired me to continue on through school no matter how small the people I worked with made me feel. (btw my favorite line that I find even myself saying now is - holy inappropriateness). I am now a fully certified physician assistant working in a children's ER and loving it and the people I work with. Sometimes I am tempted to settle for less for the things I want in life; but you are a true living reminder that for those who work hard good things will come with just a little patience and a lot of laughs. I hope this email finds you and your family well.
ps if matt is still single I'm thinking you might need to send him down to Oklahoma...
Bethenny, It is not all you. Jason will not let things go and it becomes a battle. It should not be that hard. You are giving it all you have and I know you want it for Bryn. There might come a day not to long from now when it may be best to call it a day. This is not good for Bryn either, maybe two happy parents living separate lives would be better. You do beat yourself up too much. He has alot of accountability in this. I think his ego is a little bruised by your success. That is quite normal for a man, not all guys can handle that but you have worked too hard and you are amazing! If he is going to constantly bring every little thing up then you will get to the point where you will need to let go.There is nothing wrong with that, life is short be happy not miserable.
I just love getting a peak inside your life Bethenny. I have been following you through the whole journey, cheering you on every step of the way. You and Jason also reminded me of my husband and me at about year 3 in our marriage. "RaRa" was EXACTLY right. Marriage is freaking hard sometimes. Relationships are hard. I don't know why some people (not implying that you did, but a lot of people do) think that once you get married, it really is gonna be "happily ever after". WRONG! I'm not saying that we haven't had amazing moments in our marriage, but we've have some pretty rough ones too. Veronica is right again...it IS normal. Fighting, not liking each other, wanting to punch the other one in the face sometimes...all normal. It's when you stop fighting, and stop being so passionate about it that you have to worry. I think you and Jason will make it for sure. All you need it love, and to know that you truly do want to be with that person. The rest you can handle. It may not be easy, but where's the fun in that? =) You are so brave to allow us viewers to see things like this in your life. It can't be easy. But It defnitely is easy to relate to. Congratulations on all you have achieved so far. Your daughter Bryn is gorgeous and so fun to watch! I wish you nothing but the best of luck. (=
Dear Bethany & Jason,
I have laughed and hurt for you. I am 47 years old--have horrid relationship with my parents--have never been able to have children (total broken heart)--have been married twice--have lived with a horrific disease for 25 ++ years--lost my career that I loved and am now permanently disabled. You may think damaged--damaged--damaged, well, yes and no!!!! I learned the greatest lessons in life and I want to share them with you.
#1 Until you leave the past in the past you do not live today. #2 Every day will be tomorrows past. #3 We can only Grow from our mistakes if we honestly communicate with ourselves and the people we injure. #4 I may never have a good relationship with my parents, but I can accept the fact that they may have been damaged by their parents and do not know better. I know better and I will not pass on what they gave to me. #5 I accept that I am not perfect, therefore I accept that the people in my life are not perfect either. #6 To find true love in this world is a rare thing. Weigh every little irritation against this belief and then decide if it is really that important to get mad about what is bothering you. (The fact that things get so heated in a argument prove that you both care passionately about each other-----If you did not love so deeply---it would not hurt so deeply). #7 Anger results from a assumption that others should know what you want, should know how you want them to act , etc., etc. -----we are all human and we must take responsibility for our anger by using it not to hurt others by attacking them when they fail us but to communicate how we feel (not how they fail). I can't read minds and no one else can either. I have days i ball my eyes out and days I bless God that I have been given the gifts of growth through adversity. I Love who I am, therefore I honor the path that got me here. I experienced great Joy watching you experience your pregnancy and Brinn's birth. You are so blessed.
Be the HERO of your own story. Love and peace, M`eMe Z
Hi Bethenny, I just wanted to say how beautiful that resort was. I felt like I was on vacation just watching the episode. Your little Brynn is just adorable. It made me laugh when she said "pop" and she had to have her own and hold it by herself.
B- You crack me up. This last episode was so funny and then sad at the same time. I feel for you. I have a son the same age as your B in the show, he is about 8 months younger, and I know how hard it can be to have real life issues all while raising a toddler (they just don't stop do they?). Thank you for making me laugh, in the few very few moments I have to myself in each day. I look forward to Monday nights!
Really enjoy the show and I have to say I get choked up when things are hard for you. Please don't worry about being perfect...no such thing. What I really wanted to say was when my husband and I go on vacation, it usually takes a few days for the actual vacation to start because it takes awhile for the stress of everyday life to fad away. We try to not make too many plans for the first day or two because that decompression needs to happen before the real fun can begin. Good for you to put the crackberry away and tip a few to get the vacation on track!! You were hilarious in the massage room -- my husband would be the same way. Anytime you get anywhere near naked, the hound dog is hot on your trail. Nice that you motorboated him a bit :-)
In my own hectic life, your show is the one I make time to watch but in all honesty it is becoming painful to watch. I fing you very endearing. While I fully comprehend that you are being "real" and putting it all out there, it is playing out in front of a camera crew which could place a strain on any relationship. I am quite certain that Jason (as it is blarringly obvious to us) realizes he has made the poor choice of saying you are broken during heated arguements but I hope in the coming episodes you stop saying to him "stop making me feel like a bad person". I am sure that if you omit that sentence from your conversations you will see a reduction in your bickering because it is definitely a trigger. Watching you fight about how you fight is exhausting and to an outside viewer, you has most of "it" (which is far more than many can say) and the "stuff" you are spending time processing over and over appears meaningless in the big picture. In years to come when you look back on this time and see how much Bryn has grown you both will deeply regret the amount of time you wasted in processing whether or not you "trust each other at the core".
Bethenny, I could be all wrong, but I say run don't walk. I dated a guy for 4 years whom I loved with all my heart. He had great qualities, we hardly ever fought, but he mentally abused me in a "nice" way. For example, "Honey, I wouldn't wear those shorts, it shows your cellulite". I wasn't even fat! Before dating him, I was confident, never having a jealous bone in my body. After a while, I became insecure, and jealous. Thankfully, he cheated on me, and we broke up. It broke my heart. I thought nothing of myself, until I went to the beach w/ some friends and met a gorgeous lifeguard. I couldn't believe he liked me! Believe it or not, this ex tried to get me back. He actually admitted to me, he mentally abused me because he didn't want me to find someone else. See ya! Long story short, I gained my confidence back, and eventually married the man of my dreams. We dated for 5 years before tying the knot. Jason seems to have as many issues as you. You work so hard and deserve the best. That is what I hope for you. Just be careful.
Love you Bethenney!! Beautiful vacation. Where did you get the black maxi dress with the ruffles it was absolutey beautiful.
Bethenney you have a beautiful family and wish you nothing but the best. Your birthday vacation looked absolutely amazing. The black dress you wore to your dinner was beautiful. Can you tell us where you got it or who makes it? Thanks.
You might want to try EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques). It is by far one of the most powerful ways to release unwanted behavior patterns and emotions. Great way to permanently release the crap from the past.
Bethenny--I'm in year twelve and I can honestly say that the first two years were the worst ever! It's hard when all the warts are revealed in a relationship, but it doesn't minimize what's real--and you and Jason have something real.
Don't sweat the small stuff and NEVER STOP COMMUNICATING! Remember, that even if it's difficult sometimes to hear what your partner thinks, it's always better to know--the thing I love most about my husband is that he doesn't pull punches with his truth even if I don't agree with him. Also, someone (especially a man) who uses energy to argue with you, is invested in you, it's not the fantasy, only weddings are fantasy, marriage ain't nuthin' but some work--and there is no vacation from this job.
Keep your head up and stay strong girl!
Bethenny, girlfriend I am crazy about you & your family, been following you since RHONY. Girl you ROCK!!!
Bethenny you are a awesome person, mommy and wife and Bryn is such a cutie. I love that we get to see her grow on the show. Jason is both a great daddy & husband. Always remember what doesnt break you makes you stronger. Hang in there and keep fighting, you can do it. For what its worth, I agree with your decision on chosing RaRa.
With regard to the growing pains of your marriage: I have tremendous respect ffor you to be so brave as to put it all out there.... It makes the rest of realize humans are human and the road in life isn't always smooth. I wish you and your lovely family all the best! Much love, VHW
Believe me I know we are seeing only a snippet of your lives. But it does seem that you always want to move past the fights without solving anything. I know from my own experience that there are solutions to problems once you isolate what is really bothering you. You both seem reasonable, you both seem to want this to be a forever relationship and you both seem to have baggage that is making you insecure with each other. It is also important to build a life together including couple friends, and friends made through the children. Its fine that you have your friends and Jason has his friends, but there is something about the friends you have together that really helps with the foundation that you are building.
Bethenny, this episode was great for many reasons. The first reason is bryn, she is adorable and needs more air time. Second, that couple massage was great, it is good to see you and Jason bantering but in a happy way. The gift that the girls gave you was so thoughtful Jason finally opening up a little bit and admitting that he likes to fight dirty and that he is not a good listener. All in all is good to see that you both love each other and that are willing to work to make your marriage work.
First off Thank you so much for all you do, to show us the real you, warts and all. I was thrilled when I discovered I am not the only inappropriate, unperfect person in the world, I just know it works for me and it's who I am. As a fellow OCD and organization freak ( I get a lot of crap from my family for this) I am mezmerized by your organization ideas. I am currently helping my new daughter-in law with some of her clothes organizing and stole your idea of putting her bikini's in ziploc bags. My only thought is shouldn't those bags be breathable? If you need another busineess venture, organization, storage containers, storage bags, would be something you really would be good at!!
You are as real as it gets! My husband and I have a 17 yr. old son and have been married for 26 years. It's ups and downs baby! But I can't imagine my life without him in it. And we bicker a lot! We also run our own business together and no one else has our backs like we do for each other. Oh and yeah...we argue about the business all the time! Also argue about raising our son. Not so much now that he is 17 but when he was younger. I am a strong, independent woman, but that is what my husband was attracted to 30 years ago! Keep on keepin' it real. Yes I know that sounds corny!