The Frankel File

Episode 2:'s Associate Editor talks eyebrow threading, small strippers, and falafels.

Feb 27, 2012

Busting My Ovaries
Bethenny's at the beach about 10 minutes before Cookie tries to eat someone's face, which is probably a record (because it actually took longer than I expected). But while one child is running rampant, the other Is being stupendously adorable. Bryn is putting hats on her head, talking in sentences and being the cutest. Since B is stuck at the kids' table it's good that Bryn is working on her conversation skills and speaking in full sentences. She's the baby! Just like the dinosaur baby from Dinosaurs.

Besides just eating and watching Bryn be precious, the gals are also boating -- not to much success. I've paddle boated, and I don't want to say that these women had a faulty paddle boat or one too many margaritas -- because it looks like maybe they were just terrible at it. No more seafaring for this crew.

After surviving their three-hour tour the gals head to The Sloppy Tuna. In the cannon of Bravo beach bar names, this might be the greatest. It just tees up so many terrible puns and conversations that it might top Fat Turtle (of "Turtle Time" fame). And as if the Sloppy Tuna imagery wasn't enough, there was also some sort of small entertainer who maybe thought Bethenny was Danielle (Who was Danille?!? It will haunt me). And then he figured it out, she's not Danielle -- she's Ben Franklin! Obvs! Not only did she invent the Skinnygirl margarita, she also invented electricity.

But it wasn't all sloppy tunas and boat rides, B also got serious discussing her step-father and if she should reconnect with him. It'll be interesting to see if she does open her circle up after all.

And that's it. I'm crying exactly like that small child who didn't want to leave Montauk. But we'll be back next week. Until then, leave your ideas for other slightly perverse, nautical bar names in the comments.The Crab Hole?