The Frankel File

Episode 1: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor heralds the return of Bethenny with "loofers," Shrek ears, and pretend cellphones.

Feb 17, 2012

Looks Like My Closet Made It After All
After several stressful phone calls (some real, some on imaginary children's phones), Bethenny and Jason finally get the keys to their brand new apartment. The apartment is pretty ridonkulous, and thank god, this will prevent Jackie and Co. from crawling through a tunnel to get to places. (She should really stop doing that. I love Cookie and all, but he is not to be trusted).

While the apartment is almost perfect, the closet still leaves a little something to be desired. Bethenny wants a closet that says "Momma has arrived," and this closet just sort of says, "We'll I've been here and it's fine." What does it take to turn it all the way over? I'm going to venture to say some sort of Ziploc bag rack, so that B can have her underwear and swimsuits at her fingertips. Personally, when I think of a closet saying that I've arrived, it's the closet from Clueless, so here's hoping B can get something like that together.

Of course all that space brings up the question of whether a Bryn 2.0 will be running amok in the apartment anytime soon. It seems like that's a question of how many clams Jason can get Bethenny to consume while they discuss excessive sex schedules. In other words, stay tuned.

What else did you adore this episode? Did you agree with the driver Dwayne that Bethenny's shoes where hot? Do you think churches have better store hours than Macy's? Leave your thoughts in the comments!