February 12, 2008
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Oysters are to Valentine’s Day as whiskey is to Saint Paddy’s and as fireworks are to the Fourth of July.
It’s time for the busiest day of the year, for the mystical and magical oyster, for the aphrodisiac of all aphrodisiacs, for God’s natural Viagra. The sexual powers of the oyster have been revealed in stories throughout history. It has been told that the great Casanova would eat more than 50 raw oysters every day to boost his libido. The oyster’s aphrodisiac qualities may stem from the fact that they resemble the female genitalia and their sexual texture is known to ignite the imagination. The whole oyster-eating process is very exciting and unique: “shucking and slurping,” opening a live oyster fresh from the sea, tilting your head back, the salty freshness, a subtle yet almost unexplainable sensation, a true natural life force filling you with a wildly imaginative energy .... Deep breath .
As you can tell, I’ve got a little passion -- not that little ... big ... huge actually -- for oysters, and I want to pass on a little knowledge about this sensational mollusk.
Having grown up on an Oregon ranch, my first oyster experience was with that of the Rocky Mountain varietals. Every spring we had the baby bull nip and tuck session, and a feast would follow. And in case you were wondering, it doesn’t “taste like chicken”.
Little Cowboy Boots Malarkey grew up and spent time on the Oregon coast with his family and was exposed to Oyster 101, “oyster poor boys.” It wasn’t quite as good as, let’s say, Padma’s deep fried little toe, but it did peek a certain curiosity. One of the great things about oysters is that they are so versatile. Excuse me if I start sounding like Bubba from Forest Gump, but you can: bake ’em, fry ’em, sauté ’em, grill ’em, BBQ ’em, steam ’em, and most importantly, my favorite, simply eat ‘em raw. When I say raw, I don’t mean drowned in ketchup-infused cocktail sauce, I mean eat them naked with just a drop of lemon juice or a simple mignonette.
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Comments
Missy wrote:
Brian, your passion for cooking shines brightly, it was fun to read about oysters and how they are linked to romance. I would love to have you post some recipes on your blog, you are such a talented chef. We all know you could/should have won season 3. Aspen welcomes you back any day and would love to see you at Food & Wine 2008.
posted on February 13, 2008 at 4:51 PM
RTS wrote:
Malarkay...agree that oysters are versitile, but you can't beat them fresh and cold. I had them steamed in NC...not the same. Would never do that to such a delicate creature again. Will you be blogging through TC4?
posted on February 14, 2008 at 11:34 AM
Kelli wrote:
Wow... I had no idea such culinary aphrodisiacs even existed! The idea of experiencing even more than exquisite taste in a meal is very exciting! And now it seems that it's possible to ignite the romance through dining whenever you please. You don't have to wait for a special occasion or a special holiday, you can simply celebrate with those special foods that will help stimulate that special someone. The "shucking and slurping" certainly sounds like a memorable part of the oyster eating process and I look forward to trying it... with someone special of course! Although it's nice to have your guidelines as to what types of oysters can be expected in each season, I don't know that I'm much of an oyster fan. Are there any other foods that are known to be equally as stimulating? I am certainly interested in testing the aphrodisiac theory!
posted on February 14, 2008 at 2:04 PM
cory york wrote:
Mr. Malarkey,
I'm so glad you brought the subject of "Rocky Mountain Oyster's" to light. In my humble opinion, they are truly a delicacy and widely misunderstood. Prairie Oysters, Montana Tedndergroin, or Swingin Tenderloin, as they are also commonly referred to as have a sweet salty taste and a wonderful creamy texture. I like mine sautéed with a hard sear, and swimming in butter and garlic. Quality and freshness are essential, (as in with most food), be wary of old balls. They will omit a pungent sour smell similar to that which you might find in a locker room.
Are there any other interesting apendages that you consumed as a child on the farm? Where can i find fresh testis in Mississippi?
Thanks...I really enjoy the blog information that you provide!
Keep them coming...
posted on February 14, 2008 at 6:26 PM
Daniel Parker wrote:
Obviously your passion for the sea is eternal, but I would be excited to see how "deep" your talented palate goes with your "style" of cooking, creativity, and love for what you do. I understand you are the Executive Chef of the Oceanaire in San Diego? I am heading there in the spring and am looking forward to seeing what's on the menu. Otherwise, thanks for the education (I am a wine lover) and I look forward to becoming an oyster lover. Thanks for sharing and my wife and I look forward to seeing more of you--either at your restaurant or on Bravo!
posted on February 15, 2008 at 2:33 AM
adam wrote:
Have you ever dared doing a multi course dinner featuring the different types of oysters, can we say oyster truffles for dessert.
posted on February 16, 2008 at 2:38 PM
Lesley Day wrote:
Brian, You bring so much personality to Top Chef Bravo. It is always great when your blogs come up. They are so full of life and humor and a joy to read. I hope you are writing a cook book. It would be a great one. Please keep those blogs coming. Thank you
posted on February 16, 2008 at 4:49 PM
Jamie Loop wrote:
Brian,
I love reading your blogs, and I think I can say for everyone we miss watching you on Bravo! You are a HUGE inspiration to many young (and old) chefs... "And a dash of Malarkey".
As for the oysters; sadly I am an oyster virgin! I have been meaning to try them, just haven't had the right opportunity. Now after learning their strong sexual powers I am excited to experience them soon before summer comes. Hope you are well and have a BLAST with CJ & Mrs. Malarkey in South Beach!
posted on February 18, 2008 at 12:26 PM
WWW wrote:
I challenge you to an "Oyster Off" during minus tide on the Hood Canal in Washington State! Let's ee who can choke down the most XL oysters, while they are exposed in the hot sun on beach in Hama Hama. When they reach about 75 degrees as you pluck them off the beach, shuck them right there and knock'em back with nothing to chase them down is when you pick up the real fllavor nuances, after about 40 or 50 lukewarm oysters you really start to appreciate thier oystery goodness.
I call it...Gigas Roullette!
posted on February 27, 2008 at 5:43 PM
Pat Langley wrote:
Looking forward to a visit to Oceanaire later in March when venturing to San Diego to see our new great-grandson. His dad, Mike, our grandson, knows you from the restaurant community in San Diego and introduced me to Top Chef while I was visiting last summer. I certainly thought you were bumped too early and thoroughly enjoyed your enthusiasm and creativity, as well as your tantalizing dishes. No wonder you have such a wonderful reputation in San Diego!!!
posted on February 29, 2008 at 12:02 AM
Kathleen wrote:
Hi!!
I loved watching the show when you were a part of it. I know you must have experienced an amazing time in life.
Oysters. I've seen them stroll on by at my favorite (and very popular) sushi restaurant. They are always in a little white styrofoam container with ice, a slice of lemon and a tiny paper cup of melted butter. Should I try it? I've been tempted but the closest I've gotten to shell fish at a sushi restaurant are the baked mussels in a mayonaise/fish-egg sauce (or the fried shrimp or cooked 'sweet' shrimp over rice).
Please help paint a picture/palette of what the taste will be like with those ingredients.
Scaredy Cat in Hillsboro, Oregon
Kathy :-)
posted on February 29, 2008 at 10:56 PM
becky wrote:
also you should not purchase or eat oysters from the red tide season from the dates of april to oct from the pac coast or the gulf coast. they can be poisonous :)
posted on March 27, 2008 at 1:15 AM
Erik Abella wrote:
Nice that you guys are still keeping in touch. Is Hung just as hardcore off-camera? How'd it go when he came to visit? How about the others- who else came over?
posted on March 27, 2008 at 6:23 PM
Katie wrote:
Brian,
I ate at oceanaire last night and LOVED it!! Just wanted to let you know I loved the food and the atmoshphere of the restaurant! I also tried oysters for the first time and they were fantastic! I will definitly be coming back for more! See you there!
~Katie
posted on March 29, 2008 at 10:05 PM