Page 1 | Page 2

If you’re anything like 99% of the population, chances are you spent this past holiday weekend doing the same kind of things everyone else did. Perhaps you went to a BBQ with some family or friends. Perhaps you were lucky enough to catch some fireworks, even if it was only on television. Or maybe you went to the beach to play around in the water and set up camp with a towel, some sunscreen and a good book — another perfectly acceptable way to say happy birthday to old Lady Liberty.

For those of you in that last category — the beachgoers — I’m willing to go out on a limb and make another assumption: You probably weren’t expecting to have photographs of your bathing-suited self prancing around in the sand show up on online, with every single flaw on display for all of the free world to examine and critique. And if you’ll allow me one more assumption, let me say that I’m pretty sure you’d do everything in your power to make sure such a thing never happened to you.

This, of course, is just another in a long list of reasons you’re not famous. In the past few days, the list of celebrities to have photos of themselves frolicking on the beach turn up on the internet is, frankly, sort of ridiculous. And of course, we can’t show them here because they’re mostly stalkerazzi – so if you haven’t seem them yourself a little google will make it happen.

First, there was Courtney Cox (literally) hanging out in the water, holding her daughter Coco, who managed to tug on Mom’s bikini top just enough to reveal a little bit more than the former “Friends” star would have liked. Then there was Lindsay Lohan, who seemed to have been on some sort of Beach Marathon, showing off (at last count) three different tiny bikinis, all of which have added fuel to the real vs. fake debate about a certain part of her upper body. We also caught glimpses of Jessica Alba, Uma Thurman, Pamela Anderson, Jessica Biel and a very topless, very carefree Rachel Hunter, about whom there will no longer be a real vs. fake debate. Scars…they’re permanent.

We don’t expect celebrities to go into hiding and deprive themselves of the pleasures everyone else is free to enjoy. It just makes you wonder: What is it about these people that makes them immune to the embarrassment regular people would experience in similar situations? The most obvious explanation is that they’re all pretty much perfect physical specimens with little to nothing to be ashamed of, so why shouldn’t they be out there on display?

But there’s also another possible explanation, which, if true, would take some of the pleasure out of such seemingly leisurely activities. While actual talent does come into play (sometimes)]— the most effective tool celebrities have at their disposal in their neverending quest for publicity and notoriety is their physical appearance. So really, why not take every possibly opportunity to flaunt it -- because it’s only going to lead to bigger roles, bigger opening weekends and ultimately bigger paychecks.

Page 1 | Page 2