June 5, 2007
Dear Patti,
Help! I waaaay need it. I recently ended a 3-year relationship and find myself newly single again. After some much needed alone time (Yeah Tivo) I agreed to go out with my friend on a double date with some guy she likes and his friend, who I had met once before at her birthday party during my “mopy” phase. I guess I impressed him somehow and he wanted to go out which is like weird because I was such a mess then but anyway... THE DATE WAS HORRIBLE! I mean ‘Sucks to be you’ horrible. What made it bad though is that my jerk friend left me alone with this STRANGER at this bar we went to after dinner. I know I’m sounding totally evil because he wasn’t a bad guy or anything but he was just very boring and not anything in common with me (how do you not like seafood?). The bigger problem was he liked me WAY more than I liked him. So please let me know, now that I’m back in the d-pool (dating pool) how do you let a nice guy down and not look like a total witch??
-Sherry Rose
San Diego, CA
Dear Sherry Rose,
If you’re on a physical date and things aren’t going the way you want -- you’re gasping for air, you want to scratch your skin off, you can’t stand looking at his face for a second more -- here’s what you do: Simply tell your date, “I really don’t feel you and I are a match (ouch!). And because you’re such a great guy, I don’t want to waste any more of your time. I think I’m going to go, but I wish you best of luck in your love search!” Don’t forget to say “thank you” for drinks and/or dinner, and politely leave. Oh, and remember that it’s always a good idea to have an emergency stash of at least $100 in your purse to escape if needed, especially in cases where you didn’t drive...and you need money for a cab!
Patti
Comments
nani wrote:
dear patti,
my bf and i have been in a relation for 2 years and we love each other to hell!....we spent our first year togther at school and hangin out and stuff but the second year which is this year he had to leave to another country for his university while i stayed here to continue my studies,patti plz help am afraid distance and time will effect his love toward me,he loves me soo much and its soo obvious,so do u think his love will decrease?or what can i do to save our relationship??.....thank u
nani
posted on June 12, 2007 at 9:10 PM
Redstepchild wrote:
Nani,
I hate to be the one to tell you this but if your BF couldn't live with out you, he may require friends and activities to help cover the pain he will feel from missing you and the "habits" you both shared.
The best thing you can do is to be SUPPORTIVE and NOT JEALOUS. Let him tell you where he was and what he did. Don't ask or probe.
If you hear something that causes you to be jealous, be a big girl and don't retaliate and do crazy hurtful things. It will hurt you to in the end.
When the distance thing is over, he will love you more for being there patiently.
A great example of what I am refering to is this.
My loving boyfriend (of 3 yrs) and I always go to Mexican food on Sundays after our Billiards matches. For about a month, I couldn't come and eventually one evening he went with another female pool player to our favorite mexican.
I could have been mad when he told me.
But I wasn't. I thanked him for telling me. I told him that it made me feel better knowing that he didn't miss out on our favorite thing while I was away. He replied I needed to hurry up and get back cause it just wasn't the same with out me.
I knew he would be thinking of me while doing one of our "HABITS".
Now, what if your man is trying on some new "habits"... you really are at a disadvantage and you need to find some new habits/ activities as well... maybe some church activities... those are usually good and non- jealous.
Those other activies will cushin you if he changes his mind about your relationship.
You could always go live with him. If he says no, that is a sign to me.
posted on June 23, 2007 at 6:30 PM