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D-List Dating Ex Anxiety

June 12, 2007

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Patti,
I’m a newly single gal living in Los Angeles (or as I call it, shark’s town) but I had been married for the past six years. I ended it last year for all the right reasons and spent several months feeling guilty about ending it until I coaxed my way onto some online dating sites. So far, okay. I’ve met some decent boys but my past problems with “the ex” still looms. I really don’t want to be that girl who talks all about her past on the first date but I also don’t know how to avoid the topic since my marriage was so major in my life for such a long time. So how do I explain my past relationship and not create a million questions about it? Any advice how to brush past the “ex” topic when you’re just trying to enjoy your night out?
Stacey,
L.A.


Poor Stacey,

We all know “the ex” was a jerk (ahem, Kathy?), but does your date really need to know? The fact that you’ve been married once is a commodity in a city like L.A. -- use it to your advantage! After all, a man once wanted you bad enough to marry you… wear that attitude proud baby!

When “ex” talk comes up simply say to your date (with your sweetest voice), “Lets not talk about him, he’s in the past. I’d much rather talk about you!” Then never mention it again. If the guy persists then you know he’s NOT your guy...and MOVE ON. Only gossip queens -- and I do mean “queens” -- like to talk about past relationships.

-Patti

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Comments

kathy wrote:

Patti,

I want to know how to handle this situation. I was living with a guy I met off the internet, we decided to split up last year but due to financial reasons(both of us, I am in school and he has 2 kids in university this year) we decided to stay in the house together. I have my separate bed & bath as well as entertainment room and so does he. We get along ok, no arguements just living as roomates for the last year. I will live here till I am done school which is next spring. I have received counselling and done my grieving and am ready to move forward and would like to date. How does one tell dates that you live with your ex? I have already had one rejection when I told him my landlord was my ex. Obviously I can't bring dates home.
Any suggestions?

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