June 2, 2006
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Okay, everybody, it’s a new season, and I got a lot to talk about, so I’m just gonna get right into it...
POLICE CHIEF TIM – MY HERO
Here’s what I want to say about Chief Tim: I LOVE him! And not just because he gave me a police escort (although that didn’t suck) but because he’s straight AND he thought I was hot. Everybody on the crew kept saying he had to be gay because they couldn’t believe that a straight guy could have such a huge crush on me. Well screw you, crew! Just because the man gave me flowers does not mean he’s gay.
Now Dr. Hong on the other hand – I’m pretty sure he’s gay. And I’m gonna take him up on that Pap Smear. A girl can never be too careful. (Hmm, I wonder if I can get Chief Tim to give me a police escort to Dr. Hong’s office...)
“I’M A HELPING TELEVISION WHORE”
I’m glad we surprised Prakash, that woman with arthritis. She was so, so sweet. A little too sweet if you ask me. If I had arthritis, I wouldn’t be sweet. Hell, I’m not sweet now, and I’m totally healthy. All I’m saying is, it would’ve been way funnier if Prakash was sicker and meaner. Ah whatever, it was fun. And I got some free press out of the deal, so everybody wins. Except Prakash I guess... what with the arthritis and all...
MY VAGINA CHARITY
Okay, I’m not even going to get into the whole eBay debacle. The entire thing was just too devastating and infuriating. How can they let people just bid and bid and bid, and then not make them deliver on their bids? I’ll tell you one thing – if I ever find out who the guy was who bid 28 grand and then bailed out, I’m gonna show up at his house, move in, and then not leave until he writes a $28,000 check to V-Day. You can mess with me all you want, people – but when you start messing with my vagina charity, that’s when it starts getting ugly.
Anyway, the press I did for V-Day was a lot of fun. Jimmy Kimmel was great, and the Tyra show went way better than I expected, and I got to do the whole catwalk thing which I love because it lets me pretend to be a supermodel and I don’t even have to make myself throw up or do coke or anything.... BUT, what you didn’t see on my show was the guitar I had to lug around with me.
Okay, backstory: Earlier this year, I bullshitted my way into the gift suite at the Grammy Awards, even though I really had no business being there, but you know me – I love gifts. And I love suites. So, while I was there, these people from the Gibson company gave me a guitar, and, like a fool, I volunteered to get a bunch of celebrities to sign it and then we could sell it on eBay and give the money to charity. I know, I know, enough with the charities already. What can I say, I’m a sucker for a cause.
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Comments
jaime wrote:
SHIT I WISH I HAD 28K TO BID TO MEET YAH AND IT WOULD GO TO A GOOD CAUSE WELL RIGHT NOW MY HUB AND I ARE WORKING ON OUR AMERICAN DREAM SO WHEN THE TIME DOES COME WHERE WE CAN AFFORD TO DONATE MONEY TO A GOOD CAUSE IM SOOOOOOO GANNA BE IN ONE OF YOUR AUCTIONS... AND IM NOT CREEPY LIKE THE LAST GUY...POOR THING HAD TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM.. I WOULD HAVE HIRED SOME DUMB GIRL TO TAKE YOUR PLACE WITH THE LACK OF ENERGY HE GAVE HE WOULDNT OF KNOWN THE DIFFERENCE.
posted on October 3, 2006 at 6:45 PM
Melanie wrote:
K-Have seen all your shows...freakin' love the 'D' list dirt you walk on, but really now...you can't use that schtick much longer b/c you are WELL on your way to the 'B' list, which is quite an accomplishment b/c you totally skipped the 'C's'. Anyways, I love ya gal...and sometimes think we're related...b/c I often say things that tend to offend people w/ or w/o me knowing it...often times, knowing it, but that's OK b/c it makes me laugh. If you had to go through life w/o laughing at yourself -- much less laughing at other people-- then life would be SUCH a bore!! I follow, worship & detest the celebs as you do, and gratefully thank you for pointing out there flaws & idocincrisies (sp?) to the rest of us 'common folk'! Thank you for being you...and for pointing out that all those beautiful, perfect-looking, acting, appearing 'people' piss & sh&*#$t just like the rest of us!!! Love ya!!! & keep up the good works!!! -M
posted on October 12, 2006 at 5:20 AM
Miss Dale Nugent wrote:
Go Kathy!!! You're insanely funny. I've been laid off since May and your show has made me laugh at life to the point of urinating myself. I wanted to see you in Wayne, New Jersey, but you were sold out. You rule, girl. All the best to you. Why would you want to be on an a-list anyway? D-List is so much more fun.
You're here to stay.
posted on October 16, 2006 at 1:07 PM
John wrote:
Laughing out loud on the part of vagina charity.
posted on October 20, 2006 at 1:22 AM
Karma wrote:
Ok ...I just wanna know how to get a hold of Kathy ???? I have a very very important message and idea for her .... PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE Kathy if you read this PLEASE e-mail me ... I swear I am not a freak !!!! you'll LOVE what I have to offer
Thanx !!!!!!!!!!! couldn't hurt to hear what I have
posted on October 26, 2006 at 3:12 PM
leila armstrong wrote:
kathy I saw you in Napa. Your the best female comedy star out there! I gotta tell ya I hate the way I can't find you on Bravo? whats up with that! Also, you said your divorced? I'm confused, my son say you and did say you were thinking about it..and I know its really not part of the show but , could you tell me what the hell happened.the last thing I saw was Matt doing your hair in Iraq..confused YES!
posted on October 28, 2006 at 6:34 AM
glenn fryer wrote:
Kathy, your dead on funny, sharp as a tqack w/ no hold barred Love your self deprecating humor! now thats funny!!!!! and you know my kooky friend leila armstrong from napa, at least on your blog you do! tell that women to get ahold of me so we can enjoy you together! Glenn
posted on November 18, 2006 at 11:52 PM
cherish addams wrote:
Kathy.... love you! But are you coming back for a 3rd season??
Now that Matt is out... is there a new someone special in your life?? I hope BRAVO continues the show... How can someone request an autograph photo??
wishing you love and health
Cherish
Drexel Hill, PA.
posted on December 11, 2006 at 6:44 AM
Lee Randlett wrote:
Kathy, I think you are the besstttessst. I work for a cable company, and could DVR your show all the time where I used to live.
I saw you on "The View" today when you were going to perform at Carnagay hall "today" That was a great slip. I now live back in Dallas (for a cable company) and can't fine even the re-runs of the "D-list". Shoot, look in the industry I work for, I wish my list was only just a few letters closer than yours. I am probalby closer to the "U", as in "You shouldn't get a dish, cuz I need a job."
But I would like to ask you, where in the fricken Bravo world can I find your show. I'd dress up like a rat or something in order to ward off those nasty schedulers. WOOOF.
I am not one of your gays. My name is decieving, I am a hetro female, but I still think you are damned hot. I have no clue what URL is. My first thought was that is may have been trick question 'Ur rather lazy" Me living in the south I thought it was a trick question, so of course my answer would have "yep"
I totaly agree with what what you had said as far as the language that a performer may use during their act. Example being: I can say I am lazy because I am from the south. Although I am far from being lazy. I would, however take offense if somone from the North assumed that I was. I have lived in all four corners of this country, we can make jokes about each other. If someone takes it too seriously, then they probably believe it about themselves. The things that make you go Hmmm.
Love you, miss you,
Lee
P.S. If you need another assistant, I might could replace your mom. I know how to use a cell phone. Your parents are GREAT. They kind of remind me of mind. SMOOCHES!!
posted on January 21, 2007 at 2:43 AM
Christopher Q. Scafidi wrote:
I am writing to this blog to comment on the irony that Kathy Griffin was banned from the red carpet by E! Entertainment Network because she made an innocuous joke about Dakota Fanning. Today, Dakota Fanning's child rape movie is premiering at the Sundance Film Festival. Which is worse, a joke about rehab or an actual movie about child rape? I'm sure Dakota won't be banned from the red carpet anytime soon, nor will her director. Enough already with Dakota Fanning, put Kathy back on the red carpet where she belongs!
posted on January 24, 2007 at 6:02 PM
Amanda Kence wrote:
I hate the red states too! Kathy, you are hilarious! I'm going to see you tonight in Cleveland and I can't wait! I'm sure you'll bomb, though, because we turned out to be a red state!
posted on February 8, 2007 at 12:56 PM
w. scott wrote:
I can't believe whoever it was bailed on the v-payment. But I think that 28,000 was a little overboard. 2800, seems a little more respectiful. I mean you have to consider would have to put up with your machine-gun talking and I have a feeeling that you may be a screamer. I still think you're one of the best looking women on television, and if I had a chance to get into your pants, I'd die a most happy man. Your ex is the most stupid man on this planet for letting you go and not fighting for his woman. I don't want to get to graffic, children and prudes maybe watching. Later for sizzle. Scott, W.
posted on May 4, 2007 at 5:09 AM
patricia moran kilkenny wrote:
Why did you get divorced?
posted on May 10, 2007 at 3:03 PM
Tanya wrote:
Kathy. I think you are so hilarious. I have seen Allegedly like 10 times. And I think my favorite part is the story about Brooke Shields wedding. Fucking hilarious. I want to meet you some day. I love your style of humor. I love the sarcasm. I know how devoted you are to your fans so I would like to leave my number and if you call I will have a frikking heart attack. 917-971-1429. Tanya. Can't wait for the new season of Dlist. Congrats on the emmy nod!
posted on May 12, 2007 at 9:23 PM
Olivia wrote:
Kathy - Love you and everything you do. Your are hilarious. I thought you and your ex-husband were so good. I know you have probably answered this a million times or prefer not to discuss but I am curious as to what happened. Privacy I respect so all is good. Keep us laughing. Thanks!!! Olivia
posted on May 15, 2007 at 11:37 PM
Cherish wrote:
Jeez Kathy! You are delightful and one extrodinarily funny lady LOVE YA! and I am so sorry to hear your dad passed... what a sweet man with such a funny sense of humor it's easy to see you take after him for that. As for your EX... let'em drop off the globe! I could see in his action a cold kind of stand offish attitude... like when he took the tantrum because he could get one of the phones he wanted as a free gift in one of your episodes... he always seemed to hold back when you needed him like when Jay Leno insulted you he didn't seem to comforting... I don't know... you can get better if you reach higher...! I have an ex -who cheated on me and left me for someone else... in the end I am better without him. People aren't in love anymore... they're just horny... we've become animals again that urinate outside and sleep around... but somewhere your true love waits if we didn't believe that... why hang around? Good luck babe... you are a beautiful woman inside and out... that much comes across on your show. Lose no sleep over that balding, flab ridden loser....
posted on May 22, 2007 at 12:32 PM
Lauren Marie wrote:
Kathy! Girl you rock nuts! I am all about watching your show on Bravo and want to attend a show when you're in the Atlanta area (please come soon!). You're (in my humble opinion) one of the very, very BEST comediennes out there and I adore your work. Stay true to form and you'll be successful for ages. Peace and love.
posted on May 22, 2007 at 11:22 PM
claudia wrote:
Kathy,
I am a mid western, baptist, senior citizen. I want to tell you, I cant help but Love you. You are adorable. So smart. I am amazed at how you can do stand up with only ideas of topics. You are amazing. I love it you are on The View, I love it when you all dressed up glamorous or just cute in jeans. I love your reality show. I hope you are happy and prosperous, you deserve it all. Thank you for all your hard work, you obviously work harder than anyone else. You are not mean spirited, just so funny!
You are the best! Claudia
posted on May 24, 2007 at 7:41 PM
margaret hromada wrote:
i just wanted to know who your grandma was i read she was from drogheda i was born and raised there i was just wondering if i knew her or any of her family
posted on May 25, 2007 at 5:09 PM
James A. vanBuskirk wrote:
Hi Kathy, I am a retired old guy with 9 grandchildren. Without letting anyone know about it - I watched your last season on Bravo, didn't miss a show. I'm in poor health, but for an hour or two each week, watching you on Bravo cheer me up. Sometimes, I would laugh so loud that one of my children or grandchildren would come in the bedroom to see if I am okay. I out smarted them, I had my TV clicker ready and when the door open, I would switch channels to PBS - say hi to the grand kids, give them some M & Ms and pushed them out of my room - then hit the Bravo channel again. Thanks for all my belly laughs last season. Looking forward to this season. When you hit the "A" list - remember all of us little people. God Bless you. James
posted on May 26, 2007 at 4:04 AM
MonicaLynn wrote:
Kathy,
Can't WAIT to hear your take on Paris Hilton's Jail Sentence!! I Love the fact that everyone in her camp is freakin' out about her going to jail....."hey guys, maybe if you'd been freakin' out about her driving around DRUNK, and on a suspended liscence, maybe then she wouldn't be GOING to jail!!!" Hummm....I guess that never occured to them. Also, with all that Hilton Money, you'd think SOMEONE would have just gotten her a car and driver!! Good God....oh and now I hear Nicole Richie is scared SHE might go to jail for HER DUI....?!#@* What, is Jail the new cool Re-Hab? What do you think???
posted on May 31, 2007 at 8:03 PM
Raul Motqa, Jr. wrote:
I just wanna say as a hetro...you are one funny ass woman! I watch your show because I love the way you make me laugh!!!!
I watch your clips all the time, I am a travel manager and internet tv is all i have and you are with me all the time!!! would love it if you came to myspace and left me a message.
by the way i am from Illinois, my family is from chicago and my mom is in gurnee! i finished school and when i am not on tour i am in LA also. talk to you soon...I hope!!
posted on June 3, 2007 at 3:33 PM
Raul Motqa, Jr. wrote:
I just wanna say as a hetro...you are one funny ass woman! I watch your show because I love the way you make me laugh!!!!
I watch your clips all the time, I am a travel manager and internet tv is all i have and you are with me all the time!!! would love it if you came to myspace and left me a message.
by the way i am from Illinois, my family is from chicago and my mom is in gurnee! i finished school and when i am not on tour i am in LA also. talk to you soon...I hope!!
posted on June 3, 2007 at 3:33 PM
Lin Read wrote:
Kathy ~ You are fabulous! Please ask Bravo to advertise your shows more--I didn't know when the new season started & missed your new shows! Send me a schedule, pls!
posted on June 3, 2007 at 9:02 PM
Tara wrote:
KG- Yes, I have nothing better to do but be on my laptop and write blogs to celebrities. So, here I am.... a stay-at-home mom (see I told you I had nothing better to do...as my children are in the back yard, hanging from a tree screaming for help) to tell you that I love your stuff. AND, how do you like...I'm a REPUBLICAN (gasp!) but Istill think your act is great. I really like when you rip on celebrities..if I were a celebrity I'd so want you to rip on me..but then, what fun wouldthat be for you, right?
posted on June 5, 2007 at 2:18 PM
Cait Fergus wrote:
I actually just saw you earlier today outside of my apartment building in New York on W. 70th. I was walking right behind you when you stopped outside the restaurant there. When I went back to my apartment, I turned on the TV and your show was on, and now I'm having a wonderfully hilarious afternoon of you! You make me laugh so much!
I'm just in New York interning for an Off-Broadway theatre doing tech stuff with lighting and set until July and then I'm going home to Cleveland and then back to Chicago for school. Hopefully I'll see you around again wherever I am. (well, in Chicago or New York. stay away from Cleveland if you can. There's nothing there...:)
posted on June 5, 2007 at 3:28 PM
harold wrote:
kathy u were in detroit at the max fisher i was hoping you were going two sing pic, could u let me know the next time you will be in detroit thank u
posted on June 5, 2007 at 3:34 PM
alexandria wrote:
hi i am only twelve years old and i am obsessed with your show!!
posted on June 5, 2007 at 4:08 PM
davide m wrote:
Hi kathy, i am so glad that you are back on tv with some new material, i think that you are funny as h...! I am 26 years old italian male, and i think that you should let me come and work for you. Is'nt this some d'list crap. but anyway, you should really interview me and give me a shot, i can always be a pool boy. i bet this never happens to nicole kidman.
ok
davide m
posted on June 6, 2007 at 1:15 AM
Kyle wrote:
K-Griff,
All it takes to get off the D list is a size ZERO waiste and highlights. Don't sweat it babe, at least you are on a list!!!
You kick A$$.
Very truly yours,
The Gays in Tampa
posted on June 6, 2007 at 9:39 PM
Annette wrote:
Hi Kathy!
Love your show, love your parents. You all make me laugh so much. Are you still looking for a pet sitter? I'm a pet sitter that could double as a cook. I wish someday to become a chef. I bet all the so called "A" listers have personal chefs. You could too!
Aloha
Annette
posted on June 7, 2007 at 6:02 AM
Brenda F. wrote:
I just saw you last night at the Akron Civic!! Oh my God, what a treat!! Even tho' I didn't get a picture with ya, I enjoyed your show soooo much. It's about time someone 'threw down with Dr. Phil.' I LOVED YA!!!!!!! And by the way, I wore my teeth just fer yewwwww!!!!!
posted on June 10, 2007 at 4:17 PM
Katrinka wrote:
Hola Kathy!
Girl, you are too, too much. I love you so much I LUF YOU!!! In spite of all the hardships you have endured, you are still vivacious, charming, and drop-dead funny. Here is a big virtual HUG for you (((((Kathy))))). Know that there are other women on the Z-list that admire you and can only hope for the best for you. Keep up the good work, you are an inspiration for us working stiffs out there.
posted on June 12, 2007 at 8:11 PM
Randy D. Nelson wrote:
Kathy I want to sweep you off your feet ...How about a date I'm not 13 I think we would hit it off really well... reply back so we can get together sometime...
posted on June 15, 2007 at 9:23 AM
Regene wrote:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE THE SHOW AND YOUR COMEDY. YOU HAVE ME ON EBAY TRYING TO SPEND ALL MY MONEY ON DVDS. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND YOU ARE JUST FUNNY AS ALL HELL!
DETROIT LOVE, RAY
BLESSINGS TO FAMILY!!!!!
posted on June 20, 2007 at 8:00 AM
Kayte N. wrote:
Kathy you are freaking amazing!! Your show is absolutely fabulous! So sory to hear about your dad, and the thing that I admire the most about you is that you keep on going! You are the funniest damn comedian I have ever heard and seen! Again, how would you go about getting an autographed picture?
With love,
Kayte N.
posted on June 20, 2007 at 4:25 PM
Nikki Boo wrote:
I can't believe this: " Kathy Griffin was banned from the red carpet by E! Entertainment Network because she made an innocuous joke about Dakota Fanning."
Your humor actually keeps celebs in the spotlight--to ban you is ridiculous. My ex always said "don't worry when people are talking about you-worry when they don't."
I say let's ban E! Entertainment for their shallow minds & lack of humor. Christopher Q. Scafidi is right--Put Kathy back on the red carpet! Truly Kathy, E! should have to apologize to you for that one.
If you love Kathy then put a block on E!---it will lower their standing with the satellite companies & reduce their advertising ability. Not to be vengeful, just to let E! know that what they did was uncalled for & we noticed.
xoxo
nikki
posted on June 21, 2007 at 4:06 AM
Julie wrote:
Kathy, I am a Republican, a pop-culture whore, and I think you're amazing. We can all get along in this world. But that's not your philosophy, and that's why your fans love you as much as they do! Come see us in Orlando!
posted on June 21, 2007 at 3:11 PM
Kellie wrote:
Kathy,
First of all let me say that I LOVE YOUR SHOW and have never missed an episode. I also love Ebay and while browsing for Kathy Griffin comedy tickets came across an interesting find, something I'm sure you have seen but I have to mention anyway. There is no way in hell that anyone who has their image on paperweight is on the D-list, you are moving up in the world sister! Just out of curiousity I checked to see if Lohan has a paper weight with her pic on it and she doesnt. You go girl!
posted on July 18, 2007 at 10:27 AM
austin wrote:
i love your show and i think you are the next generation of laughs bye
posted on July 21, 2007 at 6:12 PM
micah rapisand wrote:
oh kathy. i love you. whenever i am down i try to find you on BRAVO, or youtube....or i just read your blogs. you are really funny. and i say go ahead and make fun of those red states! i mean please. liberals forever! republicans for voldemort....that joke is useless if you dont know harry potter. I have had lots of guy trouble and seeing that you got through a divorce and your fathers death makes me feel strong. i look up to you alot. and hope you acctually read this. ps i am like you in that i am a gay man pretty much. i do musical theatre so you get the idea
anyways WIN THAT EMMY DAMNIT
posted on August 5, 2007 at 6:05 PM
vanna muttin wrote:
I have tix for Jan and i love you. just want to know if i should hold off on watching your new special incase its the same material.I'd rather see it live if it is. vanna
posted on December 2, 2007 at 9:01 AM
Sarah wrote:
hey kathy i think ur amazing!! ur coming to minnesota soon and i know as dumb as this sounds and the fact that u may not even read this comment but i've been searching and searching to hopefully have any chance to contact u personally and it sounds nuts but i've been trying to get my tickets for ur show here and i was wondering... if there is anyways to meet u afterwards... u are seriously like my favorite comic and i've always wanted to meet u.... i know it might now happen but if there is anyway what so ever to contact me back.... i'd like to know if there is anyway to meet u after the show... if u get this and or care about it at all please try and contact me please please please please!! haha
u are completely amazing :) and my favorite comedian ever!!!
keep doing what ur doing!!!
posted on July 13, 2008 at 2:09 AM
israel ramos wrote:
First of all I just want to said gracias to la senora Kathy. Because I saw what she did for the Mexicans kids by making a healthy library, it remain me when I was in mexico because I grow up that way. we had only one computer for around 100 kids . As Mexican I want to said muchas gracias Kathy of what you did in my country . I was already fan of you before but now I am more fan of you , by the way I learn English and bad words by watching you show and I am sorry if I had spelling problems but I hope you understand most of my words . Viva Kathy . Love you
posted on July 27, 2008 at 4:11 AM
israel ramos wrote:
First of all I just want to said gracias to la senora Kathy. Because I saw what she did for the Mexicans kids by making a healthy library, it remain me when I was in mexico because I grow up that way. we had only one computer for around 100 kids . As Mexican I want to said muchas gracias Kathy of what you did in my country . I was already fan of you before but now I am more fan of you , by the way I learn English and bad words by watching you show and I am sorry if I had spelling problems but I hope you understand most of my words . Viva Kathy . Love you
posted on July 27, 2008 at 4:22 AM