June 20, 2006
(Which is different than “I saw Iraq. I came.” Which did not happen. Because, like I said -- that place is a s**t-hole.)
So I went to Iraq to visit the troops, and it was absolutely one of the most incredible experiences of my life. But it almost didn’t happen. I had to do a lot of begging to be allowed to go. The army kept saying, “Yes, you can go,” and then they’d call and say “You can’t go because it’s too dangerous." Then they’d say, “You can’t go to Iraq, but you can perform for the troops stationed in Germany or Djibouti.” And I was like: Screw that! First of all, anybody can go visit the troops in Germany. It’s easier to do that than it is to get tickets to the World Cup. And, as for Djibouti, I am not going someplace that I can’t spell. No offense, Djibouti. In fact, I think Djibouti would be a good place for Angelina Jolie to have her next kid. But for me, it was Iraq or nothing.
Fortunately, it all worked out. Although I didn’t even really know I was going until just a couple days before. Then I had to deal with the people at Bravo who didn’t want to pay for insurance for me. They basically ended up getting me this insurance that was worse than an HMO plan. It was like, we’ll insure you if you’re killed, but if you almost die, you’re on your own. I think I would have had better coverage if I was an insurgent. I looked at their policy, and it’s very thorough.
HURRY UP AND KUWAIT
So I get to Kuwait, and even though I’ve been traveling for about 147 hours, we don’t even have time to nap or shower -- or order Kuwaiti pay-per-view movies in the hotel -- because we had to go to the base to get ready for the show. And by “get ready for” I mean “beg people to come to.” We literally went door-to-door like Amway sales people to tell everyone about the show. Basically, we bothered the Army. And it’s not like it’s a small base. That place is huge. It’s got a Pizza Hut AND a McDonald’s. It’s just one giant Halliburton playground.
PERFORMANCE ANXIETY
Okay, first of all, I’m really grateful to Keri Turner and Michael McDonald for coming to entertain the troops with me, but I have to say, I’m still really bitter that Stuart killed and I didn’t. I just can’t believe that the armed forces care more about a seven-year-old character than my seven-year-old Nicole Kidman jokes. And he just did the voice -- he didn’t even have the rouge or the wig! But that didn’t bother these army people one bit. The whole time we were there, people would pass Michael and me, and scream, “HEY LOOK IT’S STEWART!... and the girl from News Radio.”
Comments
della dempsey wrote:
I know some people just don't get Kathy, but Kathy is one of the funniest people in comedy, in my book. Nothing is sacred - this irreverence just breaks me up. Of course we would like to have the cccccccourage to say the things Kathy does, to some people we know. I think that is a big part of the appeal.
You go girl. Thanks for being YOU.
posted on October 1, 2006 at 4:17 AM
Rachel Stewart wrote:
I think you are hillarious!! You are so witty and say whatever comes to mind. You know VH1 does a show known as Driven about how driven some celebs are and how they will do anything to become an "A" lister as you call it. In my mind there are more important things that should make a celeb an "A" lister. Your absolute drive to go to Iraq and perform makes you an "A" lister in my eyes. Kudos, Baby! One other thing I would like you to know is that I am a work at home mom and only watch your show in reruns during the day. As any person at home during the day knows, daytime tv pretty much SUCKS! Not your show. I can count on your show to lift my day and give me a really good laugh and most days I really can use it. Thank you Kathy! PS-Say hello to Matt from me!
posted on October 10, 2006 at 10:34 PM
samantha wrote:
I want to thank you and your friends and crew for your devotion to the troops overseas. My husband was stationed in Iraq and is on his way home as we "speak." He was on a mission during your last perfomance, but was able to get autographs for myself, and our two kids. I have never missed an episode of your show and your stand-up shows. When he told me you were there, in Iraq, I was ecstatic. I am setting up a special shelf in the living room for Iraq memorabilia, and my photo of you is framed and waiting.I thank you and my husband, Jim, thanks you. You have made us both laugh at such a hard time for us.
posted on November 5, 2006 at 7:21 PM
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posted on November 15, 2006 at 11:46 PM
Amy Smith wrote:
I think it was amazing that you were willing to go over there and perform for those guys. Good for you!
Also, I just watched the episode again, and your insight into what it means to be there is amazing. Not too many people can get beyond disagreeing with the war to think about the people who are there.
Thanks for showing America how courageous our troops are. That needs to be the focus.
posted on January 9, 2007 at 11:14 AM
Annie Bazoon wrote:
Katheeeeeeeeeeeeeey as we say in New Orleans. You have that twisted sense of humor that I miss soo much since that bitch Katrina came twirling her ass across the Gulf Region sending 'us' in all damn directions. Our sense of humor is parrallel.. Thank Gawd that some of us aren't scared to lay it all out. Bless you for going to see the troups. Have you washed the skin off of your hand yet???? Congradulations on ALL of your endeavors.
posted on May 11, 2007 at 3:10 PM
Bonnie J Lee wrote:
Kathy needs to come to Maine. She can stay at my house, its pretty boring tho. But we could have fun going to some dives in Lewiston........dives are fun. anyway come to Maine. Stay with me and my boyfriend. He is hispanic and i am not. its a regular "lucy and Ricky" call me..........Bonnie Lee
posted on May 16, 2007 at 11:10 AM
Angi wrote:
Kathy, I don't know if you read these comments or not, but either way I have got to say THANK YOU!!! My husband was deployed over in Baghdad not to long ago. Your strong determend heart has given our men so much hope and LAUGHS they really not only deserve, but NEED!!! I again just want to say thank you! You set your mind on a good thing, and wanted to go despite the dangers for a good cause! And to be honest with you, that makes you an A-lister in my book! Don't ever change!
posted on May 17, 2007 at 2:37 PM
Mike Pettis wrote:
It is wonderful that you support our troops. My son is over there, and for these kids, it is THE most important thing for them, how the public thinks. Thank you Kathy, your are a good person, which we need alot more of these days.
posted on May 31, 2007 at 8:11 AM
Jim Harlow wrote:
I was at your show at Camp Victory. The troops and contractors thouroughly enjoyed your show. Thanks for all you did to make life for the troops and contractors a little better.
posted on June 1, 2007 at 10:26 PM
Raeann wrote:
Kathy, you are a wonderful and gracious person to devote your time and energies to go overseas to entertain the troops. As someone who served a tour in Iraq, I know I greatly appreciated all opportunities to see a celebrity performance when I was over there. I'm just bummed that you went over there a couple months after I left and I didn't get to see you, as you visited FOB Speicher and I was only a couple miles away!!! You are truly selfless and dedicated to touching peoples' lives and doing the greatest thing you can do, make people laugh and forget about life for a little while. And by the way, I LOVED your description of Saddam's palace.... it is tacky as he**!!! Thanks again, you're the best!!
posted on June 5, 2007 at 10:40 PM
Bobby wrote:
hey Kath loven you i need to come meet you we would get along so great and i would totally take a free ticket to come to one of your shows i would even pay for one but you never come this way in TX write me
posted on June 12, 2007 at 10:51 PM
Andrea wrote:
I loved the episode and thank you very much (especially on behalf of my military friends and relatives) for showing that people who oppose the war still support the troops with all their might. My very Republican parents were impressed as well; even though I'm glad to be confident that wasn't your motive, it's still a nice fringe benefit. Loved how your masturbation jokes went over with the troops and soooooo appreciated your visit to the wounded. Thanks, too, for being a good sport about Karri and Michael, and to them for going along.
posted on June 16, 2007 at 6:03 AM
Sander Anderson wrote:
I just wanted to comment on her trip to Baghdad. I was there in the croud. It was a great show. I will admit that we soldiers are hard to please. It is kind of hard to let your gaurd down when you are in a place like that. Anyway by the end of the show the three of them looked very tired, as if they had been up for days. But they stayed around to sign autographs for what must have 2,000 soldiers. I stood in line and waited my turn also. But when I got to them instead of having them sign some stupid picture that I would´ve just thrown away, I had them sign my PT shirt. It kind of brought a gleam back to their tired faces for a moment. Well, I still have the shirt. Thank you Kathy for doing what you did. I know I enjoyed it.
posted on December 4, 2007 at 3:06 PM