June 27, 2006
I left Iraq and came home to a visit from my niece and nephew. Does it make me a bad Aunt to say that Baghdad was less hellish?
WHO’S YOUR BAGHDADDY?
Performing for the soldiers in Baghdad was so wonderful and inspiring. I learned so much from the troops, but the biggest thing I learned about war is that it makes a girl like myself feel dainty and pretty. When I’m not in a war zone, guys never pick me up like I’m a 90-pound waif and bench press me over their head. Over in Iraq, it happened a few times a day. Now I’m not saying I’ve booked my ticket to Somalia yet, but things are starting to heat up down there, and I feel thinner just thinking about it. I’m already working on my material. What up, Mogadishu!!!
Before I left Baghdad, I went to this bazaar where you could buy authentic Iraqi arts and crafts. Although apparently “authentic” is an Iraqi word that means, “hideous and crappy.” But I didn’t realize that at the time, and I bought 5 shirts that I thought were the coolest thing ever – until I tried them on at home and realized they were painfully ugly, and that the only thing I could wear them to was my own beheading. So if you see me on the street wearing an overly-ornate, brightly colored top with loads of sequins and crap all over it, just say Assalam Alaikum and move on.
I DON’T BELIEVE THE CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE
So my niece and nephew Claire and Johnny came to stay with me for a few days, and my brother and sister-in-law are still teasing me about how exhausted I was after they left. Screw them! I’m still exhausted. I don’t know how you parents do it, and to be honest, I don’t want to know. I think parenthood in general is ridiculous. It’s like this giant cult, and I’m sorry, but I don’t want to drink that Kool Aid. In fact, I don’t think people should have kids anymore. It’s too tiring. There should be a moratorium on kids for at least one generation. Then people can start up again, but only when we can clone children so that they come out of pods. And even then, people should only have kids if we’ve developed technology to create super kids who can take care of themselves from the day they’re born.
TALAN
I’m very grateful to Talan from Laguna Beach for coming over to surprise my niece Claire. But just because I’m grateful doesn’t mean I can’t give the boy a little s**t, does it? Of course it doesn’t...
First of all, we were only able to book Talan for an hour. We only got an hour because he’s very busy banging Pussycat Dolls. But he was also an hour and a half late. Probably because he was sore from banging the Pussycat Dolls. Also he seemed very hungover. So it was actually a lot of fun having him over to the house and watching him try to nurse his hangover and also keep his raw, sore penis in his pants.
Comments
Laura wrote:
I commend you for going to Iraq. Thank you for doing it.
posted on November 21, 2006 at 12:22 PM
Angel wrote:
That Cake Soup was hysterical and something I would totally do!
Not all kids are like your neice & nephew... my kids have their moments when I want to sell them on eBay, but for the most part they are pretty awesome. But I totally respect those who don't want kids.
Love your show, can't wait for the next season!
posted on May 2, 2007 at 8:51 PM
djhorserider wrote:
Hi bros,
GOOD PRODUCTS...good experience with them! - http://www.allsteroidsworld.com
What do you think?
Thanks bros
posted on May 9, 2007 at 3:27 AM
Kim Perrotta wrote:
Kathy,
I have to say thank all three of you for going to see our troops! Also I just wanted to say that a I could not help but shed a tear when you were going through the infirmary and talking with the gentleman who lost his fiance and friend and yet wanted to get back to work---God Bless them all!! I had a cousin who was over there and luckily got to come home--- I hope we can all see the day when they all come home soon!!!
Keep up the great work....YOU ROCK!!!
Need to get you to come do a show here in our little home town of Hyde Park NY....there is a bunch of us firefighters who would love to see you....that's right people I am a female firefighter!!!!
Thanks again for the laughs! Kim P.
Hyde Park NY
posted on May 10, 2007 at 12:44 PM
antonyandruleit wrote:
Hey there
have not heard of fakes and have not seen any issues - - http://steroidonlineshop.com
I picked up some winny, primo, dec, etc
posted on June 9, 2007 at 1:51 AM
peg wrote:
Kathy,
You are the funniest person I have heard in a long time. I don't find much to laugh about any more in this world but when I watch your shows I can't stop laughing....I look forward to even the repeat shows.....can't wait till the next season starts...keep it up, you are absolutely wonderful...
Peggy
posted on June 12, 2007 at 10:07 PM
Andrea wrote:
What on earth is wrong with the Bravo people, that they let people spam your blog - and with ads for products that surely either are dangerous or useless, probably both? I know they want to reinforce the impression of the "D-List," but that's ridiculous. Hoping this post gets the others pulled! (but not holding my breath)
posted on June 16, 2007 at 3:05 AM
Nicole W. wrote:
Kathy,
i would just like to say that you are by far the funniest, honest, down-to-the-point comedian i've ever heard and i just hope someday that i'm able to be blessed with your prescience. You're a definite comedic GENIUS! I just hate that you "dim" yourself down to the D-List. SCREW Angelina Jolie and Nicole Riche, you are so much better than any of those A-List whores!
I am sooo sorry to hear about your dad. My dad was in and out of hospitals and nursery homes for more than a year before he past away. My dad died from kidney faliure and diabetes when i was eleven. i still miss him up to this day. no matter what people say...it never gets any easier to deal with but over time you come to except and understand what happened and why. no matter how hard off an exterior you might put up, you will always cry over him. maybe it's just the fact that i'll never speak to my dad again that makes me cry over him still or maybe it's the fact that i think everyday he's going to walk through my front door but doesn't.
enough with this sentimental crap...over all i think you're ah-mazing and i hope to meeting you someday. keep up the hilarious material. i look forward to watching new episodes of your show on tuesdays!
KEEP BEING FUNNY!
-Nicole W.
posted on June 20, 2007 at 2:02 AM
Lisa Reilman wrote:
Kathy, thank you for everything you do. I did two tours to Iraq. My husband is now over there and I appreciate all that you do. I would be honored to meet you if at all possible. I think you are absolutely amazing and such a strong woman. I should know....I was in the Marine Corps for 10 years.
If there is ever anything I can do for you (I live in San Diego) you are so free to visit if you ever want. I am willing to work for you to do publicity. I belive in you and what you do everyday. Thank you for making me laugh...I really haven't since I got back 2 years ago. Please take care, Ms. Giffin..thank you again for all the wonderful laughs ...they are few and far in between.
posted on June 28, 2007 at 2:25 PM
Jerry wrote:
Kathy,
I was there for your show at Camp Victory, Iraq on 3/19/2006. I must say that I thoroughly enjoyed your show. I loved your opening line--Hello Infidels. I was quite impressed that you, Mike & Karri sat for over 3 hours until every autograph was signed, every hand was shook & every photograph was taken. It was fantastic that you did that. I hope you enjoy contineud success.
posted on June 30, 2007 at 12:53 AM
Ali wrote:
Kathy you are HILARIOUS I love your show, my mom always reads those people magazines and is a huge fan of that E show and I just love listening to your show and hearing you talk about all those celebrities in the magazines because its all completely true, you pretty much say what magazines wish they could say about those celebrities like Lindsey Lohan, its very funny, keep up the great work, I hope you get the emmy!!!
posted on June 30, 2007 at 12:21 PM
Ali wrote:
Kathy you are HILARIOUS I love your show, my mom always reads those people magazines and is a huge fan of that E show and I just love listening to your show and hearing you talk about all those celebrities in the magazines because its all completely true, you pretty much say what magazines wish they could say about those celebrities like Lindsey Lohan, its very funny, keep up the great work, I hope you get the emmy!!!
posted on June 30, 2007 at 12:21 PM
Ali wrote:
Kathy you are HILARIOUS I love your show, my mom always reads those people magazines and is a huge fan of that E show and I just love listening to your show and hearing you talk about all those celebrities in the magazines because its all completely true, you pretty much say what magazines wish they could say about those celebrities like Lindsey Lohan, its very funny, keep up the great work, I hope you get the emmy!!!
posted on June 30, 2007 at 12:22 PM
Airell wrote:
hey Kathy....
honestly, you're one of the most funniest comedians i saw on tv...
by the way, i like your niece Claire.... she's hot and gorgeous..
^_^
posted on July 27, 2007 at 10:17 PM
nicole butler wrote:
thanks for going to iraq. my husband is currently serving over there and i know what a treat and relief that would have been for him and must have been for the soldiers in baghdad. i just wish that people went to other locations besides that one! thanks again for having the courage to do that. most wouldn't.\
nicole
posted on September 4, 2007 at 4:53 PM