April 4, 2007
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Everyone has an Achilles heel when it comes to members of the opposite sex. Women like Andrea vex me. They have this enigmatic quality I can't quite put my finger on. She makes me want to project all types of potential onto her. "I love embroidering wood because it seems wrong." That's something a lead character in a quirky, indie romantic comedy would say. Things like that suck me in.
It’s the appearance, too. She's slightly disheveled and looks like she reads books on a bus on the way to a special cemetery where she writes in her journal. It's hard for me to be around people like that. They're all Edward Scissorhands-y and I become obsessed with finding out what makes them tick. What exactly ARE you writing in that journal? What dark tragedy lies buried in your childhood past? Will you take me to your secret place?
You could also see the fire in Andrea. She'd get up at 3:30 a.m. to sketch things out. Despite her calm exterior, I felt like she had the most drive and passion of the group. If you ever go to law school, there are tons of people like her. Sadly, I was one of them too. You pretend to be laidback, but you're actually really, really competitive. You study like a maniac -- but act like you're completely unprepared.
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Comments
marlow wrote:
The Iceman, The Maverick and the Spooky Girl?
Good stuff. Reminds me of "The Breakfast Club"...on acid.
posted on April 5, 2007 at 9:26 AM
meg wrote:
I couldn't agree more on everything! I really wanted Andrea to do well but in the end it just didn't do it for me. Her talk of scandanavian style excited me and I hoped to see some of that come out but it never did. Putting aside her dining room everything else was forgettable - never the worst room so she barely held on. Down to the top three and that couldn't last. And hey - I love to hate Carisa too - you are so right with you vision of her in the future - but her rooms so often deliver. Matt though is near perfection. This week was the first where I thought he wavered - but the judges are so enamored with him Carisa had no chance. Can't wait till next week...
posted on April 5, 2007 at 9:40 AM
Julie wrote:
OHMYGOD, your blogs make me laugh so hard I swear I pulled a muscle!!! I truly enjoy your spin on each episode. It's fun to read the view from someone behind the scenes.
posted on April 5, 2007 at 10:12 AM
anne wrote:
You are full of surprises, dear assistant! Please find some way to stay in touch after Top Design ends it run. A blog? Your very own show!
posted on April 5, 2007 at 10:35 AM
Gwen Soule wrote:
I hope you aspire to be a comedy writer so the public is not denied your humor until season two, if there is one. I would love to see your name in the credits of a hot TV comedy. Your description of Andrea is hysterical. BRAVO!
I read your blog first each week and skip some of the others, if truth be told.
posted on April 5, 2007 at 10:51 AM
sal mineo wrote:
you exhibit a real sense of maturity in this week's blog.
posted on April 5, 2007 at 12:48 PM
JM wrote:
Glad to see my undefinable Andrea love shared from another point of view, though too bad it's a eulogy. Please finagle your way into blogging for Top Cook when it trainwrecks its way back on the air. I'm sure Colicchio would hook a brother up.
Forget Carl - I want to see Jackie from "Work Out" give Carisa the uber-bitch drill sergeant treatment. That would be network cross-promotion I could sink my teeth into. And for what it's worth, your description of LoudSalsaDancing Carisa almost made me uncomfortable in it's obscenely accurate attention to detail. Spot on.
posted on April 5, 2007 at 1:28 PM
gretchen wrote:
You are HILARIOUS! Can you blog from behind the scenes of all the Bravo shows?
posted on April 5, 2007 at 1:29 PM
'stina wrote:
"If I was Carl, I'd be all rap video at the TV screen, shouting, "WHAT UP NOW? I TOLD YOU, SON!" as I poured a forty all over my living room floor."
First time visitor here. But, Oh. My. God. So funny. Almost peed my pants. Wish I'd found you sooner.
posted on April 5, 2007 at 2:20 PM
Sarkika wrote:
I don't think I'm as mad at Carisa as everyone else. She is simply demonstrative; but trust me, "the butter won't melt in my mouth" graceful attitude is only a pleasant con. You know inside they are cussing and rolling their eyes; they are simply older and have learned not to flinch at everything. Outwardly.
Next season, I don't think I'll watch. The show just hasn't been as much fun as I wanted. But I will still I'm just reading YOUR blog.
posted on April 5, 2007 at 5:17 PM
missy wrote:
Why do I have to page 7 times to read 14 paragraphs? This site is exasperating. Now I remember why I stopped coming here after Project Runway. I get it, buy Glade candles and promote Bravo 7 times in a minute. GEEZ! I've been clobbered, thanks. I hope they spread that ad revenue around.
posted on April 5, 2007 at 5:20 PM
katie wrote:
This is hilarious and by far the best blog on bravotv.com. The comments about Carisa are spot on! I heart the assistant.
posted on April 5, 2007 at 5:26 PM
Maria wrote:
Yours is the first blog I read and the only one I look to for the behind the scenes truth about what we are seeing. I really hope you are back next season. Say it is so!
posted on April 5, 2007 at 5:34 PM
Lori Kremen wrote:
Hey! I resent your comments on carisa! I don't think she's the villian in this peice. She wasn't rooting for anyone to go home, she was just trying to figure out how to include that color popping style. She was only impatient with carl because she had a vision and really didn't want to be sent home because her carpenter didn't do what she asked. And those shirts...Do you have any idea how hard it is to be bigger, but not obese? Your fashion choices are really fricken limited...i mean nothing looks good on you! She was working what she had. She goes to FIT, I'm sure her fashion friends gave her what advice they could...Men just don't understand. Also, Dorks fricken deserve a little acclaim. we never get any. But we never forget where we came from. Instead of snubbing her dorky high school friends, i bet she'll embrace them...take them out for a big celebratory dinner at an exclusive NYC resturant..and only when that dickhead, who called her fat in highschool, comes to mooch off her fame comes around will she grab her cellphone and start talking about the doors she needed five days ago. Sucess is the best form of revenge, baby.
posted on April 5, 2007 at 7:48 PM
lila wrote:
I thought Carisa's room looked like something out of a Dr. Suess book. I kept waiting for Cindy Loo Who to show up. I really hated it. I was sad when Goil lost, I understand why, no one goes to a luxury hotel to look at the walls, they need a comfortable bed, a nice place to sit, that kind of thing. I loved what Andrea did with stones, but I really didn't like the room a whole lot - too eclectic. I hated her lamenting about not understanding earth as an element, it was the only element that could incorporate all of the others and more - maybe too many choices...
posted on April 5, 2007 at 7:58 PM
kathy wrote:
YOURS is the best blog! Each week I read your comments and laugh my a$$ off! You've nailed the contestants' personalities and always have a reality check when it comes to the rooms. Matt's rooms are beautiful. But you were the only way to actually say, "Where do you sit?" about his bizarre and uncomfortable seating. He designs show rooms, not real rooms. I, for one, would've trashed his white on white hotel room the first night with a spilled Coca Cola. You nailed how Carissa must act in the real world with the loud cell phone chatter & the "Eww, gross" comment. And Andrea, yep, her personality synopsis was right on the money as well. I will miss you, Mr. Assistant. You are the only person on Top Design who has a clue.
posted on April 6, 2007 at 5:23 AM
condoblogger wrote:
SPOT ON! I didn't see it before, but NOW thanks you your look into her future, I can see Carisa CLEARLY! I knew I didn't want her to win, and NOW I know why!
Awesome post as usual!
posted on April 6, 2007 at 6:12 AM
FanFare wrote:
Dear Mr. Assistant,
I have read only a few of your previous blogs. Your comments here are very astute and pertinent. I found myself agreeing with practically all of your observations, too.
"Miss Carisa's" room surprised me in a good way. I thought it best represented her cover. However, that girl definitely needs an attitude adjustment. Her constant carping to Carl, the Carpenter was ridiculous. I thought that he should just quit and leave her high and dry (or nail her hide to the wall). She should have shown more appreciation of Carl going the extra mile (FOR HER TO WIN) by actually thinking; and then executing the best part of her room (as Mr. Adler stated).
Matt's room, for me, was a total dud. The drapes looked sad. The furniture placement was silly. It looked more like a catalog page, than somebody's living room. The curtain rod to nowhere was purposeless. I absolutely HATED his "Rorschach-Test" pix. They dominated the otherwise dismal space. It was clear to me that the judges preordained Matt to be the winner, based on their love affair with last week's room.
Andrea was my favorite of these otherwise morose designtestants. She was articulate and uncomplaining. Her glowing expression shined through as she worked her projects. In addition, she got along with her carpenter very well and seemed to appreciate his efforts. I liked her baseboard detail very much. Unfortunately, the furnishings left much to be desired. However, her room WAS completed (unlike anemic-looking Matt)!
Thanks again for your comments. btw: please get yourself a new photo. The one here makes you look like you are on weed.
posted on April 6, 2007 at 8:45 AM
michael wrote:
Can't wait to see what Carissa comes up with! :)
And I agree, I thought Matt's was a hard choice for #1, I mean, it was so UNfinished!!!!!! But Carissa's was a touch too loud and Andrea's, just, ugh.
SHould be a GREAT last episode!!!! :D
posted on April 6, 2007 at 11:43 PM
Patsy wrote:
I love the blog...I was watching this episode with my husband (who is a sometimes watcher) and we totally thought Carissa should of won. My husband was laughing at the "married couple" fighting that has become the Carissa and Carl relationship. I had not noticed the way they fight until my husband pointed it out to me. I think I would subscribe to the web broadcast of the Carissa and Carl show. We can take bets on who tapes the others' mouth first.
posted on April 6, 2007 at 11:49 PM
Ann-Marie wrote:
Mr Assisstant I cannot believe you said what you said about Carissa on page 5. That is the most racist and sexiest thing I have every read a lowly assistant say. Just because Carissas' last name is Perez-Fuentes does it give you the right to give cracks about mojitos and salsa dancing. Did anyone even proof read your blog before it posted? Did you even think about what you were saying and what it could mean? You little boy need to be dragged into a culture sensitivity class at bravo and learn some manners.
posted on April 7, 2007 at 12:15 AM
Bob wrote:
I saw a question asking about what Matt looks like. Go to the Top Design video blogs. He's in the 'behind the design' segment (and maybe some other ones, I'm not sure). FYI.
Great show and very cool blogs.
posted on April 7, 2007 at 12:40 AM
K. L. Smith wrote:
I love reading your blog--I got a similar vibe from Andrea, and I'm sad she's gone.
If you actually read this, I'm sure you'll be amused to know that in the finale promos, the voice-over begins by saying that there were FIFTEEN designers at the start of the season. Methinks someone was not quite paying attention, given that we started the season with 12. Just another black eye in the hit list of Bravo's reality shows.
posted on April 9, 2007 at 5:01 AM
K. L. Smith wrote:
I love reading your blog--I got a similar vibe from Andrea, and I'm sad she's gone.
If you actually read this, I'm sure you'll be amused to know that in the finale promos, the voice-over begins by saying that there were FIFTEEN designers at the start of the season. Methinks someone was not quite paying attention, given that we started the season with 12. Just another black eye in the hit list of Bravo's reality shows.
posted on April 9, 2007 at 5:22 AM
juni wrote:
You projected a completely different fantasy onto Andrea than I did--I see a much emptier room, less interest in reading, her vocabulary did not reveal complicated thought processes and her rooms also had that empty-feeling quality. That can be fascinating to many people, who somehow appreciate cool, emotionless affects. I'm not crazy about drama queens, but I like to see a litte more going on beneath the surface than what I was seeing with Andrea.
I loved what you said about Matt's room. A museum piece--not meant to be lived in. Carissa's colorful room came across as pleasing to the eye out in TV Land. And it is inpiring to see happy colors, instead of everything being Tasteful.
posted on April 10, 2007 at 10:07 AM
Sue wrote:
Actually, instead of a museum, Matt's room reminded me of a psychologist's office. The Rorschach inkblot paintings, the daybed that seems fit for a patient, and chairs near the bed for a doctor. Not to mention the neutral colors in the room, also. Matt the Iceman could be a psychologist.
posted on April 11, 2007 at 2:06 AM
Lynda I wrote:
From your comments and projected future about Carisa; are you implying that she won the whole ball of wax? That, my dear, would make you quite the spoiler! (I guess we'll see, won't we?)
posted on April 11, 2007 at 8:29 AM