September 13, 2007
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I'm always suspicious when I see a skinny guy in a relationship with a big woman. Maybe you're madly in love ... sure. When I first saw JeAnne with her husband ("Chaz"), I'll admit I had some concerns. Generally speaking, these types of relationships raise a few questions in my mind. Is this just a way for the skinny guy to boost his self-esteem? Is Chaz happy now that she’s lost the weight or did he prefer when she was bigger? Ahh, the skinny man-big woman dynamic fascinates me so ... but would Chaz and JeAnne fall into the same trap? Simply put, no.
First, JeAnne has left her obese days far, far behind. Second, if I had to marry one of our participants this season, it would certainly be JeAnne. Hands down. Why? Probably the same reason Chaz fell in love with her ... she has an amazing personality. If there's one pleasant byproduct of obesity it's that like a lump of coal, the oppressive weight of social judgment can occasionally turn someone's inner spirit into a shining gem. That's exactly what happened here. JeAnne made a conscious decision to stay positive and it worked wonders. She could have easily taken the other route: a downward shame spiral that ends with bitterness and a job at the DMV. Lucky for JeAnne (and all of us), she chose the better path.
Comments
Maria wrote:
Why is it such a big mystery for a skinny man to be in a relationship with a not-so-skinny woman? I don't get this. Should skinny men only be with skinny women? Should fat women only be with fat men? I have been with men who are fatter than me and It never seemed like a "mystery" to me. It's about the person who is right for you. Period. I resent the implication that a man who falls in love or is attracted to a fat woman has something wrong with him. Beautiful is beautiful, no matter the size. It is precisely this kind of attitude what made this woman cry and later confess that she has rarely ever felt feminine. It is sad that we live in a society that actually makes people feel bad about who they are. She should have lost weight because of her health, not to "look" more feminine. Being fat does not alter gender. I'm a recovering anorexic and I don't take this kind of remark lightly.
Jeanne is simply a wonderful, gorgeous, strong woman. I don't see why any man wouldn't be attracted to that, but I admit I don't get most men.
And Tim is way too classy, intelligent, fabulous and sensitive to be compared with Will and Grace. Not at all in the same category. God, I adore that man!
posted on September 13, 2007 at 11:46 PM
Tilly wrote:
Love love love this show! And I loved JeAnne. That being said, I have to disagree with Maria's comment. To think that attraction should be all about personality is naive and ridiculous. Being physically fit is not only visually attractive but also reflects a certain amount of consideration about one's health. To be angry that some men prefer thin, fit women is like being angry that some men prefer brunettes to blondes or green eyes to blue. I have a hard time believing that you actually think "beautiful is beautiful no matter the size." You think the 600 lb men who have to be turned over in their beds by crane are beautiful? Being attracted to physical appearance is normal. Get over it and drop some lbs!
posted on September 14, 2007 at 3:03 PM
annezilla wrote:
Whose idea was it to have the "passionate" ex-boyfriend at the reveal? Also, what happened to the life coach/Ben Affleck doppelganger that was in the first episode and the prequel (?) episode?
Personally, I’m not as suspicious as you about thin/fat couple dynamics... I just accept that what attracts one person to another can range from "soul-stirring" (as Mr. Gunn would say) to shallow, and all the points in between. In all kindness, speculating about the recipes of one person's attraction to another is an exercise in futility. I’m not saying you can’t, or shouldn’t speculate – who can stop you – but to me it seems a bit nosy. Don’t you think?
Anyway, glad to see you back bloggin for us. I do enjoy your perspective and your sense of humor. Your Top Design posts were top notch.
posted on September 16, 2007 at 4:19 AM
Amy wrote:
I think you are projecting a lot of your own personal issues onto this lovely couple, who obviously care a lot about each other. Comparing them to couples on Jerry Springer? Assuming that there must be something wrong with a "skinny" man with a larger woman?
Give me a break.
posted on September 16, 2007 at 1:12 PM
Melody wrote:
I love Tim & Veronica, I love the show, and I loved JeAnne! I admire JeAnne's courage in putting everything out there. I felt her pain when she felt so exposed and vulnerable, having everything about her on display, down to her undies! It must have been hard for her to give up a wardrobe that, like she said, represented accomplishment to her. And she ended up looking absolutely FAN-Friggin-TASTIC! I want her hair cut. It looked so cute on her, took years & even more pounds off. I hope she and Chaz are very happy together. I hope he's secure enough to handle his hottie wife feeling so great about herself.
posted on September 16, 2007 at 4:03 PM
Judi wrote:
When I first started reading this blog, I was annoyed at the suspected motives of thin men with big women. (By the way... Thin doesn't always equal attractive, regardless of gender.) I have heard things like this way too often. I spent most of life thin or average sized and I had low self esteem then. Now that I am heavy and married to a thin, attractive man who also happens to be almost 11 years younger, I have had trouble undertsanding what he could see in me physically. I thought perhaps he was a "Chubby Chaser", but he is attracted to women of many different shapes, sizes , etc.
I have realised that part of what he appreciates in me is that I do care about how I look but am not frantic about trying to look like what magazines tell us we should look like. Physical problems have my limited activity and kept me from keeping as fit as I'd like to be, but since my weight gain, I realised that there are a lot of men that prefer the "soft" woman. In fact my sex life improved in quality AND quantity when I accepted my size and focused on my health instead.
I am happy to see that the author realizes that beauty is not a certain size or shape and when others accept you for who you are, they are able to appreciate the true beauty of a person of any size, which the person they are inside.
P.S. Sometimes when a person loses a lot of weight and the spouse or partner isn't happy about it, it could be due to the fact that some people are genuinely more attracted to "heavies", not always because they have their own self esteem issues or self image.
posted on September 17, 2007 at 4:41 AM
ClickMichelle wrote:
I thought Chaz looked uncomfortable at the . I was hoping it wasn't to do with the fact that the girl he loves discovered that she was really a very attractive woman.
I was somewhat relieved to know that his discomfort was due to the ex-boyfriend's presence at the reaveal. "Somewhat" because Oh.My.God. is this Tim Gunn, or is it Springer?! *That* was horrifying. Thank goodness that bit never made it to air.
posted on September 17, 2007 at 3:31 PM
JeAnne wrote:
Oh Mr. Assistant...how can I be angry with the whole questioning of the thin man/skinny woman thing when you butter it up by saying I would be the candidate you would pick to be with...awww :D *smooches*!
Chaz was uncomfortable not only because of the ex (which *so* did not work for this experience - I mean you could hear a pin drop in Jersey when he walked through the door) but because he had been separated from the love of his life in what was an incredible experience for her that he felt he couldn't share while it was happening. It was hard on him...and me!!!
Assistant is right (and he needs an after pic as he's quite the hottie) ...whatever *it* is, we have it, had it at 340 lbs and have it now. He is incredibly secure in himself, in our relationship and has no problem with me being in the spotlight as it tends to happen sometimes! He's happy with me happy and realizing and hearing that was the impetus to me finally losing the weight once and for all. Unconditional love is a powerful thing my friends!
One thing with the taping of the show that I didn't want to come across was fat = horrible, thinner = fantastic because I am so not like that. I never had a problem getting a date on a Friday night at my heaviest, getting a job, having friends and having fun! And problems don't disappear when you lose weight either. What has changed is that I feel like I am in a better place to accept all the great things that come my way. I feel like I can give more to myself, my fantastic husband and to all the people I come into contact with.
By the responses on the blog, I think overall people respond well to the show because it instills in them the inspiration and the desire to improve upon themselves. No one is perfect, but we can always strive to be better!
JeAnne
posted on September 17, 2007 at 7:52 PM
tired wrote:
WHY, why, why? Do people continue to make
such cruel and hurtful remarks? An overweight
person is treated as a gleeful target. How utterly
mean.
posted on September 20, 2007 at 1:35 PM
Nikita wrote:
Maria, I couldn't have said it more succinctly or with more class than you did...thank you!
Assistant, as funny, sensitive and utterly brilliant you usually are with your blog, you missed the mark here.
JeAnne, I wish you all the best!
posted on September 24, 2007 at 2:31 AM