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Sometimes grown women enjoy acting like children. It's a classic archetype. In theory, they seem to think it's sexy. The telltale sign? When they talk to their boyfriend or husband, their voice goes up nine octaves. Suddenly, they're five years old again. "I hungy. When we get din din? I no likey spinach." For me, it's like Madonna's British accent. I just don't get it. What exactly are you doing? You're a 31-year-old woman, and you're wearing a "Cookie Monster" T-shirt. Oh boy. Now, THAT's a challenge.
Stephanie is also a big online dater. A lot of women have one mission in life: find a husband. Period. The clock is ticking, and you need to find a soulmate / ok, maybe a best friend who you're mildly attracted to / ok, maybe just a nice, balding guy who's good with kids and has a decent job. At some point, you just have to lock...]]>
There comes a point in everyone's life when you have to decide: am I going to pursue the life I want, or am I going to accept the life I have? Sometimes events conspire against you, but it's often our own choices that answer the question. First you get married, then you buy a house, and then maybe you have some kids.
Each decision adds another layer of complication to your pursuit of happiness. Let's be honest: it becomes a lot harder to quit your job and write the Great American Novel when you've got kids to feed. It's possible... but it ain't gonna be easy. Standing in Nicole Appelman's home in Edison, New Jersey, you definitely got the feeling her life had taken a detour. In high school, she was the Prom Queen, and the hottest girl in school. Now, she's surrounded by sippy boxes and plastic tricycles with melted Starbursts in...]]>
I'm always suspicious when I see a skinny guy in a relationship with a big woman. Maybe you're madly in love ... sure. When I first saw JeAnne with her husband ("Chaz"), I'll admit I had some concerns. Generally speaking, these types of relationships raise a few questions in my mind. Is this just a way for the skinny guy to boost his self-esteem? Is Chaz happy now that she’s lost the weight or did he prefer when she was bigger? Ahh, the skinny man-big woman dynamic fascinates me so ... but would Chaz and JeAnne fall into the same trap? Simply put, no.
First, JeAnne has left her obese days far, far behind. Second, if I had to marry one of our participants this season, it would certainly be JeAnne. Hands down. Why? Probably the same reason Chaz fell in love with her ... she has an amazing personality. If there's one...]]>
[After reporting on Top Design, Matt O'Brien, a.k.a. "The Assistant" has somehow managed to stay employed with his boss, Executive Producer Scott Stone. Now he's back to give you the inside scoop on "Tim Gunn's Guide to Style." This time, The Assistant's Blog is SUPERSIZED with behind the scenes video footage and broadcast in verbal HD for your reading pleasure.]
Some television shows are built to make you cry...especially the feel-good ones. If you've ever seen "Oprah's Favorite Things," you know exactly what I'm talking about. Trembling lips give way to tears of joy as the studio audience has a complete emotional breakdown en masse. Whenever I'm watching, I always feel like Jeff Bridges in "Starman": "What are these humans feeling? Why are they crying so heavily? What is this 'emotion' they are experiencing?" Because let me tell you -- the tears were really flying on this episode.
Our spiritual journey began at Rebecca's...]]>
Use any sports metaphor you like, the truth was Matt simply hit his shots when it counted. In contrast, Carisa’s problems started from day one. First, she was $18,000 over budget. Then, she had problems with her hired hands. Who were those guys anyway? Two slackers from San Dimas?
They had all the classic SoCal indicators: indiscriminate use of "Bro" and "Dude" coupled with those metal chain wallet holder thingys and the latest single from "Fall Out Boy," entitled "Bro, I SO did not sign up for six flights of stairs." I actually felt bad for Carisa on that one.
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Then, of course, there was the floor crisis. Pulling up her tape, Carisa shrieked, "This floor isn't refinished!" as chunks of black peeled off her pristine mahogany floors. Truth alert! Carisa knew they weren't...]]>
Everyone has an Achilles heel when it comes to members of the opposite sex. Women like Andrea vex me. They have this enigmatic quality I can't quite put my finger on. She makes me want to project all types of potential onto her. "I love embroidering wood because it seems wrong." That's something a lead character in a quirky, indie romantic comedy would say. Things like that suck me in.
It’s the appearance, too. She's slightly disheveled and looks like she reads books on a bus on the way to a special cemetery where she writes in her journal. It's hard for me to be around people like that. They're all Edward Scissorhands-y and I become obsessed with finding out what makes them tick. What exactly ARE you writing in that journal? What dark tragedy lies buried in your childhood past? Will you take me to your secret place?
You could also see...]]>
Sometimes people go crazy in Los Angeles. Typically, they're actors and it happens pretty quickly. The telltale sign? My boss calls it "crazy eyes." You see it in casting tapes all the time. It's a look that says, “I will literally eat my family if you put me on your TV show.” Then there's the babble speak...a jumble of disparate thought fragments thrown together post haste. Sound familiar?
Here's Goil describing his flame concept: "I'm thinking of a glittering curtain kind of like a mirror, gold things that would glitter and move. The back wall represents the flame of fire that vertically travels in the air...that's my representation of that." Uh-oh. I think I heard a derelict yelling something similar last week. Let’s face it. Like a Britney meteor hurtling towards the earth, Goil was going down in flames.
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The worst part? It was on a...]]>
And it’s not because I used to be 300 pounds or have Crohn’s Disease. I hate having to set aside at least an hour a day to prepare three square meals. If you eat the wrong things or don’t cook them properly, you get sick and die. When your meal is ready, you have to cut, chew and swallow. Over and over and over and over again. Hours later, you’re relegated to the bathroom for a ritualistic expulsion and expression of thanks. Two hours later, the cycle starts all over again. I hate it. Always have, always will.
But, Matt -- haven’t you ever had a wonderful meal with wonderful people in a wonderful setting? Sure. But that is by far the exception and not the rule.
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Of course, this episode was all about food. As an assistant, food is a major part of my day....]]>
I decided to trail Michael and Andrea on their trip for supplies in the Valley. I noticed something very interesting about Michael. He really sells the whole “designer” image and people totally lap it up. Apparently, the formula of: Slippy glasses + mouth breathing with a heavy dose of foppish gestures = more attention from store staff. Something to keep in mind if you’re shopping for discounts...
Meanwhile, back at the PDC, there was some groundbreaking stuff happening. Carisa totally broke the “third wall” when talking about Michael. Remember? She turned to the camera and said, “He’s a [bleeping] nightmare.” It was like Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Does anyone do that (outside of confessionals) on a reality competish (“Variety” shorthand)? There’s a chance we’ve got some genre busting events happening here folks. Here’s another contender: Goil’s recent online video interview with Andy Cohen as the first appearance by a contestant STILL IN CONTENTION...]]>
I missed the boat last week to freestyle on some of the reader comments. Big thanks to everyone who has submitted feedback thus far. A few issues to address before getting to this week’s episode:
1. The picture. I’m of the opinion that it’s best to set the bar very low when it comes to physical expectations. This way, when people actually meet me, they say, “Oh, you look SO much better than your photo.” That feels so much better than the opposite.
How many times have you seen the hipster T-shirt, “You look much better on MySpace?" That’s exactly what I’m trying to avoid. In fact, I often tell old acquaintances that I got into a disfiguring car accident -- right before we meet up for coffee after 10 years. It really sets up a low bar of expectation. I’m a monster. I know. Speaking of which….
2. Great feedback on Ryan’s...]]>
