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Booty. I have heard the word, but there was never a context or capacity that caused me to use it – until this episode. It was Veronica who thrust the word towards me, and I believe that most people watching the show saw me sputtering. Being in the fashion industry where everyone (and I do mean everyone) believes that she – and he – are simply too fat, I was slightly stunned to learn that there are people who celebrate an ample rear end. I’m buoyed up by that fact; I believe it’s healthy. In fact, by the end of our taping, I was chanting it to the tune and cadence of the Yale fight song, “Boula, Boula!”
Booty Booty!, Booty Booty!
People have asked me whether working with Lori altered my view of fashion. Working with Lori raised my view of the human spirit, but regarding fashion, it served to underscore my...]]>
I claim very adamantly in this episode that I do not dance. As a pre-teen, I was forced to attend a cotillion for the purpose of learning social graces and protocols, etiquette, and, of course, the rudiments of ballroom dancing. Once a week for ten weeks I donned my Pee Wee Herman suit and paraded around the salon of a DC dowager, Mrs. Millicent Schuyler Plushbottom, or something like that. The experience was loathsome.
Furthermore, it took me away from my favorite TV show, “Lost in Space.” And this was an era before TiVo! Although I learned how to address foreign dignitaries, how to bow properly (you never know when the Queen of England may spontaneously appear), I never absorbed the steps and movements associated with any of the various dances that we had to perform time and again: the fox trot (so ridiculous!), the waltz (wake me up from my nap),...]]>
I hear myself saying in this episode that in this case, there seems to be a problem with taste. Taste is so terribly difficult to discuss, because it is a topic that is rife with biases and rules that do not transcend different societies and cultures very well. But I’m dancing around matters when I should merely be blunt: taste is not a politically correct subject, but without it, we would live in a world of god-only-knows-what hideous drivel.
To develop taste, it requires the training of one’s eye to the principles of form, proportion, harmony, and balance. Its underpinning is the Golden Mean, which means that it has a Western bias. (In fact, I don’t believe that Asian cultures have words in their languages that pertain to the Western concept of taste.)
Is taste subjective? Frankly, I don’t believe that it is. I believe that it is what it is. And too much...]]>
It was relatively easy to discuss with Stephanie the inappropriateness of her clothing, because she’s a pediatrician whose patients have parents, and parents judge. In the condition that Veronica and I found Stephanie, were my child her patient, I’d want to see her medical school diploma and her birth certificate. With other women of different professions, my approach may not be quite so head-on. And Stephanie’s case wasn’t an intervention. Were it to have been, I would have tried a more Socratic approach of questions in an attempt to get her to declare that her clothing is a professional -- and social, for that matter -- obstacle. But in the end, “I can’t want you to succeed more than you do.”
Petite women are very challenged by limited apparel offerings in their size, an issue that is exacerbated by the lying, deceptive shell-game of vanity sizing. With today’s “0” being the former “2” or...]]>
I am very sensitive to how challenging is it to pry yourself loose and be extracted from your fashion rut. For people who feel stuck in that place, here are my thoughts for beginners. Even though you know that you need to rid yourself of your fashion ball-and-chain, it’s unsettling to have your fashion foundation uprooted.
Tell yourself that the work ahead is only an experiment; that is, nothing needs to “stick” unless it’s right for you. At the same time, an experiment should be just that: be open to trying on new items of apparel and, frankly and if at all possible, having fun with the process. Finally, be cognizant of the fact that a fashion evolution is by definition difficult, daunting, and emotionally draining, so only engage in one if you’re really ready!
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I love the idea of a uniform, providing it works. Nicole’s uniform of t-shirts and cargo-capris...]]>
JeAnne had spent most of her life weighing in excess of 300 lbs. At the time of our meeting, she had lost close to 150 lbs, but was still weight challenged. Fashion had never been part of JeAnne’s vocabulary, because at her larger size, it eluded her. With her new-found size and shape, she was ready to address her new figure. Her entire perception of herself had been altered and, accordingly, she was at a loss for how to begin. I anticipated that there would be a great deal of emotion during our journey and, indeed, that was true for all of us.
I’ll say this about the difference between clothes and fashion. We need clothes, but we don’t...]]>
I know what you’ll ask: “Don’t the men have a list?”
Ah, the men! I’m working on a new book that will be the men’s version of “A Guide to Quality, Taste, and Style,” which is not to say I don’t believe that men can benefit from the current book. Many of the 10 Essential Items for women are appropriate for men, too: the classic white shirt, dress pants, a blazer, a trench coat, jeans, a cashmere sweater, a sweatsuit alternative. I’ll add a suit to that list and ponder the remaining essentials.
One of the things we talk about helping Rebecca do in this episode is to help her see herself more objectively. It isn’t easy, or else everyone would be able to do it.
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We need to let go of the fact that we’re looking at ourself. When standing before a...]]>
