10 "Sexy" Halloween Costumes That Are Anything But

Ken Bone is just the beginning.

If there’s one thing Americans demand of Halloween, it’s an inexhaustible supply of sexy Halloween costumes. But if you scroll past the hundreds of Harley Quinn costumes, things start getting weird. Very weird. Sexy Ken Bone weird.

Yes, against all odds, the sweater-wearing presidential debate Twitter sensation himself ended up inspiring a revealing costume — complete with a mustache. That might not even be the most ridiculous get-up available online. Since October 31st is coming right up, here’s that Ken Bone costume and nine more Halloween costumes that aim for “sexy” but might be more appropriate in the “scary and disturbing” category.

 Sexy Undecided Voter, $95.95 at Yandy

“Capture the hearts of America this Halloween in this Yandy exclusive Sexy Undecided Voter, the most lovable political enthusiast of the 2016 election season!” Yandy whipped up this costume (above) in just 48 hours after the debate, but really, how long does it take to decide to turn Ken Bone’s Izod cable-knit sweater into a cropped top? Somehow it all costs nearly $100.

Poop emoji, $57.95 at Yandy

It’s hard to imagine a scenario in which the poop emoji is sexy, but this poop brown romper isn’t it.

 

Donna T 2.0 costume, $71.95 at Yandy

Yandy released an update this year to its “sexy Donald Trump costume” from last year and somehow made it worse. The awkward red tie is included, but the crucial “Make America Great Again” hat is not.

 

Sexy Blue Babe costume, $10.95 at Yandy

Call it a Smurf, or a “sexy blue babe” as Yandy describe it. That hat is definitely the stuff of nightmares, though.

 

Sexy Squirrel costume, $49.99 to $59.99 at Halloweencostumes.com

Totally inexplicable. The acorn purse is a nice touch, though.

Sexy French Fries costume, $18.95 at Yandy

The french fry bustier is somewhat Moschino-esque but why does it have to say “hot fries” in the crotchal region?

 

The Simpsons Duffman Women's costume, $61.99 at Halloween Express

A bit player from The Simpsons gets the sexy treatment for some reason, and at least the drink-holder belt looks useful.

 

Cozy Orange Fish costume, $50.95 at Yandy

The sheer number of risque Finding Nemo and Finding Dory costumes is just plain bizarre. See? See?

 

Troll costume, $15.95 at Yandy

That Trolls movie is coming out soon, but this just shouldn’t be. If anyone can make dowdy shapewear with a sequin bellybutton decal look good, hats off to them.

 

Women’s Skunk costume, $57.99 at Halloween Express

This feels like some sort of meta commentary on the ability to make any animal costume sexy. Kind of like the ultimate Mean Girls line:  “I’m a skunk, duh.”

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