We’ve all been there—getting dumped. Sometimes your inner psychic kicks in and it’s exactly how you predicted in your crystal ball. But sometimes, it blindsides you. It’s a complete shock. And no one wants it to go down like that.
So, put on your trench coat, here’s how to play detective.
Look for simple signs. Melanie from Downsville, New York, was dating a guy she met in college and things were great. They saw each other every day and things were going smoothly—until they returned home for the summer. That’s when the guy started showing all of the typical signs people do when they are no longer interested. It was not until two weeks later that Melanie finally got closure. He pulled the classic, “It’s not you, it’s me.” She could have spared herself the excuse with the following signs:
1. They distance themselves
If your significant other is making excuses as to why they can’t see you but don’t give you reasons other than, “Sorry, I’m busy,” red flag. Especially if they do it this multiple times in row.
2. Lack of commitment
They’re not interested in meeting your parents or planning a weekend getaway? It’s not going to last very long.
3. Too much small talk
A couple in a committed relationship share thoughts, feelings and opinions. If your conversation isn’t anything more than, “How was your day?” it probably won’t go much further.
4. You’re putting in all of the work
You’re the one constantly contacting them and asking them out.
5. Sex life slump
It’s normal for the amount of sex to decrease after the “honeymoon stage” or the first couple months. However, it’s strange if you’re initiating it but your partner isn’t into it.
These are more common signs you’re about to be single. If you want to take your detective skills to the next level, let’s look at body language. Patti Wood, a body language expert, has surveyed psychologists, private investigators, and even a divorce attorney to bring you more subtle warning signs you’re about to get dumped.
6. Where do their toes point?
Patti suggests looking at your partner’s feet while you’re on a date. She says, "If they are pointed at you, great." But, if they aren’t, they may be looking elsewhere.
7. Random silly fights
According to Melvyn Frumkes, an attorney specializing in divorce, "a person who picks nonsensical arguments is trying to get the other person (you) to make the first move."
8. Windows are closed
By “windows,” Patti means the heart, eyes, neck, and palms. If your partner turns their heart (the center of their chest) away from you as you’re talking, they are most likely not interested. Same goes for the other “windows.”
9. Eyes indicate lies
Bill Raduenz, a private investigator, says that if a person looks up and to the left when they are speaking to you, they are not being truthful. Looking left is an indicator that we are using the left side of our brain, the “creative” side, so if they do this, they are probably making up lies.
10. Pat on the back
Patti says, “A person who gives you a hug while patting you on the back is indicating that they are uneasy.” The bigger the pat, the more uncomfortable they feel. Another sign is the amount of contact during the hug. According to Patti, “full frontal contact is good,” but “the one-shoulder hug, or pulling away in other areas could be a sign the person is ‘distancing’ in the relationship.” Who knew hugs could be dangerous?
By looking out for the obvious signs and body language indicators, you’ll be an expert at uncovering if you’re about to get dumped. Lastly, always trust your gut feeling. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t be afraid to have a conversation with them. It could save your heart in the long run.
Personal Space is Bravo's home for all things "relationships," from romance to friendships to family to co-workers. Ready for a commitment? Then Like us on Facebook to stay connected to our daily updates.