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Dear Diana Ross ...: And this is how "Diandy" was born.

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Andys Blog

Dear Diana Ross,

I, Michael Joseph Jackson, a resident of the State of California, declare this to be my last Will, and do hereby revoke all former wills and codicils made by me.

In the event that Katherine Jackson IS fit to care for my minor children, it is hereby ordained that you, Diana Ross, will become legal gaurdian of, and mother to, Andy Cohen from Bravo.

Your son will be called Diandy Ross Cohen.

You will teach Diandy to live in your image. You will ensure that he knows how to Reach Out and Touch (Somebody's Hand). He will wear sequin bodysuits in the color of his choosing.

Diandy recuses all ties to Mary Wilson, Patti LaBelle, and anyone else on "the list" (attachment D).

He will cajole you into agreeing to make appearances on 2 (two) episodes of Bravo shows, "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" and "The Fashion Show." You will later regret 1 (one) of these appearances.

You will assume greater responsibility of Diandy's day to day life when Bravo releases him from employment in 2010 upon realization of what a fool he is. You will make your son your dresser and the relationship will come unhinged for 2 (two) years. In 2012 you will realize that he is truly a fool and this will draw you closer than ever, and forge a bond that will keep you close for the rest of your lives.

His birth mother, Evelyn Cohen of St. Louis, will be awarded 2 (two) visits with Diandy (formerly Andy Cohen from Bravo) per calendar year.

Diandy comes to you with love and an open heart. He accepts you as his Mommy.

Michael Joseph Jackson

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Comments

15 Comments

: 08/24/2009 - 2:09pm; titto; too much on mj...sorry have to disagree with all those saying he was a great father. he was not. no father in their right mind would have those dangerous drugs around, let alone do them when children are in the house. this goes beyond any parents thinking. if he was a great father than he would have quit drugs gone into rehab and start a new sobriety life with those beautiful children. also as a mother ..katherine should have forced her way to her son and get him help...dont tell me it was security that was the problem, because every mother i tlaked to about mj, said they would have gotten to their child no matter what and katherine did nothing but enable her sons drug dependency...and now hes dead. he left three beautiful childrem parentless, all because he neede his fix....that is not a great father!

: 07/05/2009 - 8:27am; Dave; Hey Andy! Can't wait for your new talkshow! Love the blog, love the tweets...I think I might have a mancrush on you! Hugs and kisses, have a great holiday.

: 07/04/2009 - 4:48pm; Viewer; This blog is FABOOOOOO!!
Somebody's happy :)

07/04/2009 - 4:33pm

aka

This blog was better than the Anderson Cooper piece on Bubbles the Chimp or Matt Lauer's tour through an empty Neverland Ranch as he pointed to where things used to be. You are now in my pantheon of favorites. Thanks for the shot of reality!

BTW, hope we see a blog from you after the premier of "Bruno"!

07/03/2009 - 10:42pm

Viewer

Hi Andy

Why wasn't the 2nd REUNION aired for the real wives of NJ last week? and why does everyone take so long to update their blogs ?

Any way i am just an ardent fan of Bravo, and i'm from Jamaica, loved your sense of humour.

: 07/03/2009 - 8:13pm; tdubs; I heart andy cohen. I just discovered this blog and can't wait to read more. I love you on the reunion specials with all those train wrecks from the Real Housewives!

: 07/02/2009 - 7:07pm; Charlie; Right on Dude! Right on! Has everyone in the world lost their minds over mj or what? There's still a war going on right? How about healthcare? Equal Rights? Hummm....thanks for the laughter & keeping it "REAL"!!!!

: 07/02/2009 - 6:21pm; Saanne; Okay that was the funniest thing I have read in a long time. I love how it is all planned out including the alienation and the inevitable reunion.

: 07/02/2009 - 4:35pm; Tom G; "Do you know..where your going to..do you like the things that life is showing you..." and so on...
Theme from Mahogany will be changed to Theme of Diandy.
Please Andy..do not get UPSIDE DOWN with your self when you are COMING OUT to your adoptive mother. When you go to the DMV to get your name changed on your ID..shout out IT"S MY TURN when your number is called..then REACH OUT AND TOUCH somebody's hand in thanks when they give you that 88th martini..
OK you get the jist of this...and my brain is hurting now.

07/02/2009 - 2:30pm

MJEH

Hey Andy!!

You beat me to it!!! As soon as I heard about the "Diana Ross gets MJ's kids, etc." thing, I thought about Miss Ross adopting/getting custody of, her #1 fan!!

It has finally happened! Andy Cohen and MJEH are on the same page!! Who would have thunk it????

P.S. I'm forgiving you, this time, for stealing my bit!!

P.P.S. You couldn't possibly live in the same house as Miss Ross. Who would be the Diva of the House????

*I Love Andy!!!*

MJEH

: 07/02/2009 - 10:35am; kelly; My flight was canceled and I was in a super grumpy mood until I read this. It is so hilarious, I may have cried a little!

: 07/02/2009 - 10:21am; Mary; Genius... and terrifying.

: 07/02/2009 - 10:07am; Viewer; I LOVE YOU ANDY COHEN!!!! Best blog EVER!!

: 07/02/2009 - 9:47am; Bart; Any chance you were out really really late last nite, maybe even into the early hours this morning, and there is still some alcohol still coursing through your veins? This blog is whack!

: 07/02/2009 - 9:43am; lois; rut ro Andy! I DO hope you got clearance from Evelyn on this one. Unless she gets to try on Diana's FAB-oosh wardrobe during those 2 visits! Funny!