Picture this: A woman arrives home from work, sister and friend in tow, and sees a man standing over the stove in her kitchen, casually cooking a fried chicken dinner, cocktail in hand.
Sounds like a dream come true, right?
Well…not if the man in question is a burglar in the process of robbing your house.
For one Florida woman, this scenario was all too real. “I walked in to [the perpetrator] standing here with this pot of oil, where he was frying chicken,” Samantha O’Neal told Florida’s Fox 35 of her run-in with the alleged burglar.
O’Neal claims the man had taken chicken and sausage from her refrigerator and was drinking some of her sister’s green apple-flavored Smirnoff vodka as he cooked. “He was in here, drunk as a skunk, just being Betty Crocker,” O’Neal’s sister, Melissa Stanley, told the TV station.
To rid herself of the intruder, O’Neal screamed—as one does when one encounters a drunk and hungry robber in one's home—then “picked him up and threw him out the gate.” She then called police, who later apprehended the man, identified as 34-year-old Ronald Wesly.
Wesly is out of jail but is facing felony charges. The important question, however, remains: How was the chicken?
“My buddy had eaten it,” O'Neal said of the fried chicken. “He said it was seasoned very well.”
While we're pleased the alleged burglar had some stellar culinary skills, we're not sure how we feel about this—would you eat fried chicken cooked up by a drunk stranger robbing your home? We're guessing he probably didn't wash his hands first.
Interestingly, it’s not uncommon for burglars to chow down during a home invasion (robbing people is grueling work, we imagine). Munchies points to several examples of perpetrators who literally cooked up trouble for themselves by sticking around to make a meal in the house they had just broken into.
At least one pair had the courtesy to load the dishwasher afterwards.
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