Chloe Kardoggian's Adventures on The Real Housewives of New York City Bus Tour

Hold on to your legs and your eggs (à la Française)!

Sometimes being an incognito tourist in your own city is a great way to spend a Saturday. I recently took The Real Housewives of New York City Bus Tour to indulge my inner Bravo-holic and OMG, it was the best day ever! I think I came up with my tag line: “I may be a bitch, but I'm also a bitch." What do you think?!

Our group met up at Tipsy Parson where we boozed it up and reminisced about that crazy time Jules Wainstein unloaded what was really going on with her eating disorder to Bethenny Frankel. Thankfully, I was too drunk to get as emo as they did that day.

Next, we got on our luxury bus and I wowed our tour guide, Melissa, with my carefully planned outfit—statement necklace, beret perfect for eating eggs à la Française, and a spare limb to throw if needed.

Then we headed downtown and passed by all the Housewives’ faves like Dos Caminos (where Bethenny brought us the eloquent line, “Get off my jock!”), the former La Gazzetta (where we saw no Herman Munster shoes) and Ladurée (where Carole Radziwill filled Bethenny in on all the naked Turks and Caicos drama that happened after she left). We also got to watch lots of clips from the show to refresh us on all the drama and locations.

Our next stop was Georgetown Cupcakes, where the ladies decorated cupcakes and drank Skinny Girl cocktails and Ramona Singer Pinot Grigio—as one does…

Then we stopped at SPiN, the ping-pong club where balls went flying as Carole and Adam’s romance bloomed. I enjoyed bathing in the tub of balls – so fancy!

After that, we headed uptown to the Russian Tea Room—site of the first season reunion special where Ramona stormed off set during discussion of Alex McCord’s nude photos. Ahhh… those were simpler times. Naturally I got naked to pose with our tour guide, Michelle, because I love to push buttons. They also have an amazing bear sculpture with goldfish swimming around inside. Nobody knows what life in the fishbowl is like more than a Housewife, am I right?

Our final stop was a look inside the Regency Hotel Bar—where the naughty make-out session that rocked Luann D'Agostino (then Luann de Lesseps) took place last season. Sweet, sweet drunken hotel bar booty… I LOVE IT!

Thanks for following along with me on The Real Housewives of New York City Bus Tour! Cross your paws I make it on to the next season of the show—they need a senior hottie like me to show them how to have real fun, right? And don’t forget to follow me over on Instagram @chloekardoggian. Smooches!

This post comes courtesy of The Dog Agency, home to high-profile pets like Chloe the Mini Frenchie, The Dogist, Tuna Melts My Heart, Harlow and Sage, and more.

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