"I Can't Put My Arms Down" And Other Crazy Excuses People Give When Calling Out Sick From Work

Also, "I'm bowling."

“Uh, yes, um I’m not going to make it in today...I was, uh…bit by a duck.”

That’s an actual excuse someone gave for calling in sick to work. A new survey from Career Builder reveals the top reasons employees have given for taking the day off on a whim—and they’re hysterical.

Here is a list of the top excuses:

Employee says ozone in the air flattened his tires.

Employee’s pressure cooker had exploded and scared her sister, so she had to stay home.

Employee had to attend the funeral of his wife’s cousin’s pet because he was an uncle and pallbearer.

Employee was blocked in by police raiding her home.

Employee had to testify against a drug dealer and the dealer’s friend mugged him.

Employee said her roots were showing and she had to keep her hair appointment because she looked like a mess.

Employee ate cat food instead of tuna and was deathly ill.

Employee said she wasn’t sick but her llama was.

Employee had used a hair remover under her arms and had chemical burns as a result. She couldn’t put her arms down by her sides due to that.

Employee was bowling the game of his life and couldn’t make it to work.

Employee was experiencing traumatic stress from a large spider found in her home. She had to stay home to deal with the spider.

Employee said he had better things to do.

Employee ate too much birthday cake.

Employee was bit by a duck.

Turns out, the majority of employers (67 percent) give their employees the benefit of the doubt even when the excuses are bananas. Only 33 percent say they have checked to see if an employee was telling the truth. Asking to see a doctor’s note was the most popular way to find out if the absence was legit. Some employers (18 percent) drove past the employee’s house.

More than one in five employers say they have fired an employee for calling in sick with a fake excuse.

Topping the bad excuses, are idiot employees who busted themselves online. More than a third of employers (34 percent) have caught an employee lying about being sick by checking social media.

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