$80 for Collard Greens? 7 Hilariously Expensive Thanksgiving Dishes You Can Order Online

You can take the easy way out this Thanksgiving, but it'll cost you.

Ah, Thanksgiving. So much planning, shopping, cooking, stressing, and so little time. And it's all coming right up, faster than we'd like to admit. Don’t want to deal? Don’t worry: You can order all the food you need online. Everything. But it will cost you, and we're talking like $80 for a classic vegetable side dish. And that's only the beginning. Here, 7 ways to make your Thanksgiving super-easy, super-delicious, and really really expensive.

1Collard greens

Photo courtesy of Neiman Marcus.

Collard greens are a holiday favorite, but in the event you don’t feel like going to the produce aisle and buying them, you can order these from Neiman Marcus. After shipping costs, they'll run you around $80 for a bowl of greens "seasoned with spices and bacon." But hey, since the order does serve 8-10 people, that's not so insane, um, right?

2Turkey

Photo courtesy of Sur La Table.

When choosing a turkey, you can go fresh or frozen, free range, organic, kosher—and each comes with its own price point. But if you don't want to worry about wrestling for the last one at your local market, you can get this organic free-range turkey at Sur La Table for —wait for it—$120. It comes in a 12-16 pound range, but don’t get too excited: You still have to cook it.

3Green bean casserole

Photo courtesy of Allen Brothers.

One might think that a green bean casserole is the easiest of all holiday basics to prepare— but that doesn’t mean it’s not even easier to have someone else do it. For $50, you can get this casserole from Allen Brothers, baked with homemade cream of mushroom soup and topped with crispy french-fried onions. Or, for less than $5, you can buy some green beans and a can of soup, and do it yourself. But whatever.

4Pie

Photo courtesy of Goldbely.

Baking is hard work and can take a lot of time, especially if it’s not your thing. Life is so much easier when all you have to do is add the holiday dessert to your online shopping cart. Take, for instance, this Maine Blueberry pie from Two Fat Cats on Goldbely. The price? That would be $60.

5Gourmet mashed potatoes

Photo courtesy of Mackenzie Limited.

Making mashed potatoes is ultimately as easy as mashing potatoes and adding a touch of butter and garlic. Sound like too much work? Well, you can order these potatoes from Mackenzie Limited. They'll run you $50. Yes, $50 for mashed potatoes. 

6Roasted brussels sprouts

Photo courtesy of Dean and Deluca.

Brussels sprouts are delicious and pretty simple to make – not to mention versatile. That versatility may bring you right to...well, having someone else make the sprouts for you. These brussels sprouts from Dean and Deluca are prepared in a basic, classic way: tossed with olive oil, shallots and garlic. And somehow the price comes to $35 plus shipping.

7Mac and cheese

Photo courtesy of Hancock Gourmet.

OK, lobster mac and cheese is a little fancier than what you may get out of a box, but REALLY is it fancy enough to warrant that $80 price tag? Hancock Gourmet's creamy mascarpone-cheddar sauce is said to be peppered with chunks of Maine lobster, but let’s hope those are big, big chunks.

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