Advice

Getting Jerks on Tinder? Blame It on Your Profile Pic

One matchmaker tested two different types of pics to find out what men really think.

A picture says 1000 words about you. According to Serena de Comarmond, Australian Matchmaker and owner of I Heart Matchmaking, the one you decide to use on your Tinder profile influences the kind of men you attract on the popular dating app.

“I was writing my relationship book about what attracts a man to a woman and a woman to a man, but I hadn’t dated in 10 years,” the author of Love Me? Love Me! says. “My fiancé said to really understand, you’re going to have to go there and experience dating.” And de Comarmond did, with her fiance’s blessing. She decided to post two different profiles — one with a conservative photo and one sexy. She quickly learned what type of men were drawn to her more seductive pose as she recalls her worst date.

"He sent me a message that said, ‘Hi, you are really hot, do you want to have sex?' and that’s putting it in a diplomatic way,” she recalls with a laugh. “I told him I wanted some dates before any of that. He reluctantly agreed, but on the date, he started touching me and put his hand up my skirt and tried to grab my back thigh. He got a glass of cosmopolitan in his face.”

De Comarmond explains, “There’s a misconception if you put up a sexy photo, you’ll attract more men, but the caliber of men and their intentions are not going to match what you’re looking for.” She understands that most women want to find a man who will fall madly in love with them, to find a partner who cares and takes you dancing and on dates. “But when your boobs are hanging out in a profile photo, it can be read as, ‘Hello I want to have sex — one date, we’ll be in bed together.’” And she warns, “Don’t think you can turn a guy who’s looking for a booty call into a date.”

Serena de Comarmond’s conservative photo garnered its own reaction; guys said she looked really interesting and asked about her hobbies and interests. So she went out with one of them as well. 

“The guy was from Europe, and many European guys are very romantic — he kept writing ‘you’re beautiful, I can’t stop thinking about you, my heart skips a beat.’” She realized that would have been easy to have feelings for a man like this. “I love a boss babe — a woman who is taking care of business, like myself. But sometimes that overshadows that we as women are gentle, soft, sweet, beautifully romantic creatures. When a man recognizes you’re worthy and important and he’s proud of you — they are the gifts you deserve.”

Of course, this was one relationship not to be — she is still with her fiancé. But that European guy is out there, looking for his true love. Just make sure you’ve got the right type of pic to capture his heart first.

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