Fast food, old friend, you are difficult to maintain a relationship with. Between your exorbitant calorie count and your deceptively high sugar levels, you’re not exactly what most would consider a healthy meal. And although we try our best not to indulge in you too often, there are times—like in the middle of a 4-hour layover in Dallas, or on a Tuesday— when it’s hard to go cold turkey. Or, in this case, cold cheeseburger.
So, inability to pass up chicken nuggets in mind, we’re always interested to hear about “eat-this-not-that” lists and secret tips for navigating our favorite chain’s menus without excessive indulgence.
Except when that list comes from Gwyneth Paltrow and the team at Goop, Paltrow’s lifestyle website that recently published a nutritional guide for making the best ordering choices at fast food restaurants. Now, no disrespect to Paltrow or the team at Goop, but we do have to wonder how much authority she really has on the subject. As an actress and entrepreneur known for her stringent eating behaviors—even by Hollywood standards—it’s hard to believe she really knows her way around a McRib or a Frosty. In fact, it kind of feels like taking advice from Harley Davidson about buying a Volvo: it’s just not the first place you ask.
But we have to admit there are some good tips inside here. Split into categories like “Your Best Bet” and “Tricky, But Doable” as well as the more fatalistic “Just Order The Fries…” the suggestions range from totally sensible to “ah screw it, get a donut.”
Many of the suggestions involve removing the meat/dairy from the dishes you order (e.g. get a salad bowl at Chipotle with black beans and guac as your proteins) while others rely on avoiding the excessive calories that can come from oils and dressings (e.g. ask Panda Express to hold the sauce and garnish your meal with soy and chili sauce packets instead).
And Paltrow and Goop seem to know some cravings just can’t be denied (e.g. the “Curly fries, best enjoyed with reckless abandon” from Arby’s.)
Now does this mean we really expect to see Paltrow waiting in line for KFC the next time we’re in a food court? Not a chance.
But points for trying to help us when we are.
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