It isn’t always a failure when you decide to end a friendship—sometimes the person is no longer good for you and you no longer want them in your life. Perhaps you’ve outgrown them, or they betrayed you. Maybe they constantly lie and cause drama wherever they go and you just don't want to be around it. Maybe you finally saw a side of them you didn’t like and distanced yourself. It can take a while before you untangle yourself from an unhealthy friendship because you feel guilty about letting go.
Here’s how to know when it’s time to pull the plug.
Once you begin to question the value of a particular relationship, ask yourself the following three questions, reports Psychology Today. “Do I avoid calls, ignore texts, or frequently cancel out on plans with this friend? Do I feel better or worse after spending time with this friend? Do I ever find myself wondering how I ever ended up in a friendship with this person in the first place?”
Keeping friends contributes significantly to our physical and emotional health, so it’s important to get out of the relationships that are hurting us. “If you have a wonderful relationship that eventually becomes less wonderful, the ending of the friendship does not negate the positive experiences that came before it,” says PT.
But naturally, some things end badly, and here are a few more clues to when you need to drop this “friend.”
“You do not like who you are when you're around him or her, your friend is bringing out bad behaviors in you, the friendship feels significantly unbalanced, the words you'd use to describe your friend are not flattering, your friend doesn't seem to get who you are,”explains the report.
There is also a right way to end the friendship.
Ignoring texts and calls until the go away is rude and your ex-pal doesn’t really have closure or an understanding of what happened. Using social media to drop hints is also not good. Having the difficult and honest conversation is the best way to get out of the friendship you don’t want to be in.
“Own your own feelings and refrain from verbally beating up on your soon-to-be ex-friend. Acknowledging the good that came of the friendship can really be a powerful way to end the relationship. Not every friendship is built for the long haul, but you don’t have to leave a wreck alongside the road if you can avoid it,” says Ph. D. Suzanne Degges-White.
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