Is Kim Kardashian an International Double Agent?

Here's why she won't be visiting Iran any time soon.

Kim Kardashian is possibly the world's most famous jet setter. But there's at least one place to which she's not likely to be winging off in the immediate future: Iran!

Why? Well, because of accusations that she's a secret agent working with Instagram to corrupt Islamic girls. Seriously — this is a thing.

It's been widely reported that the Iranian Revolutionary Guards Corp, a group charged with protecting the country's Islamic system and warding off foreign meddling, has accused the star of working with Instagram as part of a complex plot to corrupt young people — women especially — with images contrary to their lifestyle principles.

Let's look to Kim's Instagram for evidence of this alleged plot. Most glaringly, Kim leaves her bod uncovered — duh. As she recently said when she accepted her Webbie award for breaking the Internet: “Naked selfies until I die."

#liberated

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

OCCU spokesman Mostafa Alizadeh said, "They are targeting young people and women. Foreigners are behind it because it is targeting families. These schemes originate from around the Persian Gulf and England. When you draw the operational graph, you will see that it is a foreign operation." Well then.

Alizadeh continued, "Ms. Kim Kardashian is a popular fashion model so Instagram's C.E.O. tells her, 'make this native.' There is no doubt that financial support is involved as well. We are taking this very seriously." Oh dear.

While we know Kim is getting the big bucks for promoting waist cinchers and herbal teas, it seems most of the world doesn’t quite believe Instagram C.E.O. Kevin Systrom himself is paying Kim to corrupt young Iranian girls. 

An amusing thing to come out of this? We got to see our congressman joke (or at least we seriously hope that it was a joke) that they can’t discuss her secrets, assets (ahem), weapons, and double-agent status as they could be killed for speaking out.

Armenia, where Kim’s father’s side of the family is from, borders Iran; she and the fam recently visited for a trip they filmed on Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

We may be laughing about all this here, but sadly some people aren’t laughing in Iran. According to the Iran Wire, celebrity Elham Arab was forced to confess, and 150 salons, photography studios, and fashion workshops have been shut down in what was called “Operation Spider." Officials found 170 women whose accounts were deemed too promiscuous, and 29 of them are being prosecuted. 

Some of the names in question are Elnaz Golrokh and Hamid Fadaei whose accounts are still live. The other more “risque” models’ accounts were deactivated. 

As for Kim's part? Well, naturally, she's moved on from the dustup as only she can.

The New Kimoji are out today! Download them now at the App Store!

A video posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

 

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