Help! I’ve Turned Into My Boytoy’s Mama

It started out hot, now he's looking for you to take care of him. 

Jennifer Lopez recently ended her relationship with her backup dancer boyfriend Casper Smart. Some say that the relationship came to its natural end. But Jennifer, 47, who is 18 years older than Casper, may have hit that awkward point in a relationship with a younger man: when your boytoy starts acting less like a boyfriend and more like a mama’s boy—with you unwittingly in the leading role.

According to sources, JLo requested that her ex attend a classy annual fundraiser for the Apollo, hosted by Ron Perelman in the Hamptons, but Casper pouted like a kid because he wanted to go to Las Vegas to watch a boxing match with his friends instead. Just like a teen testing how much he can get away with, Casper rebelliously flew off to Sin City. So Jenny punished him accordingly, reportedly cutting off his credit cards and bank account. 

Sasha, 46, from New York, can relate. She’s been involved with DJ, 20 years her junior, for three years. And she admits, their interactions can be challenging at times. 

"Sometimes I feel more like his mother than his girlfriend. I actually have to remind him that I'm not," she shares, citing how she’s always making their meals and reminding him to do things around their apartment, like pick up his clothes, make the bed, take out the garbage and put the toilet seat down. “It really takes the passion out of the relationship when I have to boss him around like a child.” 

So he’s hot and good in bed, but he behaves like a child. Let’s go to the expert. 

“Dating a younger man can make a woman feel younger, vibrant and more alive,” says Fran Greene, flirting, dating and relationship coach and author of The Flirting Bible. “It can be daringly different and sexy to be the one who is teacher and mentor. But like anything, reality will set in. What may have been cute and adorable is now making you cringe. That’s because age difference can't be the basis of your relationship. (Hello, Demi and Ashton) There has to be more drawing you to this—as equals—despite the difference in your years.”

If you feel you’ve slipped into a maternal role with your younger beau, the best way to handle the situation is to talk with your man (boy?) 

“Bring the issue to the table,” Fran advises. “Explain that you feel you’ve become over-motherly, and that’s making the relationship lopsided.” 

His answer will tell you a lot about the next step you need to take. If he says he’s been feeling that way too and wants to work to remedy the situation, he may be more mature than you are giving him credit for. 

“That’s a good sign that he’s mature enough to be in this for the long haul,” according to Fran. “If he states that he likes things the way they are—you have to evaluate if you want to spend more time playing the mommy role.

 “And if all of a sudden you’re feeling like his mama, and it’s creepy because you’re sleeping with him too,” Fran declares, “it’s definitely time to cut the cord.”

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