Kanye West's Contract Requires Boozy Slushie Machines at Every Show

Ours would, too.

File under: What's the point of being a major international celebrity if you can't make outrageous-slash-absurd demands of everyone who works for you, because you feel like it? (And then hope those people don't get signed to mortifying tell-all memoirs that become massively best-selling classics, but anyway.)

The latest celeb contract worth of your attention: Kanye West's. Yeezy's rider requires that he have a boozy slushie machine at every show during his Saint Pablo tour. Why? Because, like most humans on earth who've ever had a boozy slushie, he likes them. And because, unlike most humans on earth, he can just ask for a machine that mixes up a boozy slushie on demand, and he can then have said machine placed before him.

Unlike Van Halen's famous M&M contract rider (which insisted that the band get backstage bowls of M&Ms with the brown candies taken out), Kanye's rider presumably isn't there just to see if the staff is reading the fine print closely enough to avoid technical mishaps onstage. That rider is there because Kanye wants boozy slushies. What exactly does his machine make? Actually, there are two machines. One makes Hennessy and Cokes, and one makes frozen Grey Goose lemonade.

So there you have it. Look, we want to make fun of the guy. But the truth is, we want a slushie. Now.

(via First We Feast.)

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