"Do you know this guy?? He says he is well-known." With that now-famous Tweet, Martha Stewart asked the world to help her ID some guy named Jonathan Cheban, who was sitting next to her at the Daily Mail's Seriously Popular event in Cannes in June and claiming to be the Kardashians' best friend. Turned out he wasn't lying. Stewart later tweeted that Cheban is a "very famous bff of the Kardashians. Who knew."
Suffice to say, Stewart wouldn't be Tweeting a question like that now, because Cheban has moved up in the world. Way up. Not only is he a regular on Keeping Up With the Kardashians—and a close pal of Kim and Khloe—but he's now also a god: a Food God. Need proof? Look no further than his Instagram handle. The @FoodGod managed to carve out some time to sit down with GQ for an interview in the current issue, and shared his views on food, philosophy, and dining etiquette.
Here, just a few of the lessons he'd like to pass on.
How to eat donuts:
Gilded. At Manila Social Club in Brooklyn. “It was amaaaazing,” Cheban told GQ about the donut he recently had there. “I don’t eat much of them,” he added. “I wouldn’t be the FoodGod if I was fat.”
How to read a menu:
You need to smell it out. "I need to read it and then smell out what’s going to be amazing. It’s a talent. Like I can look at the menu and just look at the ingredients and be like, This will end up being amazing.”
How to eat hot dogs:
Fried. Ideally at Hiram's Roadstand in Fort Lee, New Jersey.
What not to order:
"The waitress asks if he might like greens," writes GQ's Joshua David Stein about a dinner with Cheban at Tao Downtown in New York City. “'Oh God no,' says Mr. Cheban, 'We’d never waste anything on greens.' Mr. Cheban similarly declines rock shrimp in a lettuce cup. He does not like rock shrimp. It embarrasses him."
How to pace out your meal.
“So we just got to TAO and we’re staying slow but we will end with a Peking Duck. This is FoodGod. Food Vibes. This place is slammed," says Cheban, talking to Snapchat. "My Snapchat and my Instagram probably get more views than every magazine out there.”
How to enjoy your pasta:
Cheban doesn't hold back on the carbs when he's eating at a place like Carbone in NYC, and neither should you. “Woooah. Look at this. Really pigging out tonight. We all around. Pasta. Yo, we leave Europe and we’re still eating like f***ing pigs.”
How to slum it:
“No one is just looking for a Michelin star,” says Cheban, about his appreciation for the less-anointed restaurants of the world. He does allow that he'll even go for a burger at Manhattan's JG Mellon—like other folks we know—and avocado toast at Chloe's.
When to eat dessert:
All day, every day.
"Food God breakfast with bubblegum milk," says Cheban on his Instagram:
Weekend fuel. "Need these":
Lunch, dinner or snack: cotton candy ice cream cones:
"The perks of being FoodGod."
"Food God vibes. You guys don't understand how big this thing is." Oh, we do, Food God. We do.
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