Lena Dunham Shared 20 Super Dark Weight Loss Tips

Spin class did not make the list. 

In case you missed it: Lena Dunham is not interested in being the poster child for weight loss. The Girls star has shed some pounds, but she's been very open about the fact that it was anxiety and depression—not some cult cycling class—that led to her new shape.

And what's more, Lena is dumfounded by the backlash she's received for losing weight. In a recent appearance on The Ellen Degeneres Show, the actress shared: "It's just so ridiculous because I spent six years being called 'bag of milk' on the Internet." Then, when she lost weight, Lena saw comments such as: "I thought you were body positive!"

For the record, she is body positive—but telling others how to get fit just isn't in her wheelhouse. So when a magazine splashed an image of Lena on its cover with accompanying text that read: "How She Gets Motivated," the star used her signature wit to share how, indeed, she does.

20 slimdown diet tips! 1. anxiety disorder * 2. resultant constant nausea 3. an election that reveals the true depths of American misogyny 4. constant sweaty dreams of dystopian future 5. abdominal adhesions pinning ovary below uterus * 6. baseless but still harrowing threats to physical safety online and through smail mail 7. watching institutions you love from Planned Parenthood to PBS be threatened by cartoon mustache-twirling villains 8. finally realizing superheroes aren't real (specifically the X-Factor, really thought they'd handle this) 9. marching your ass off 10. a quiet rage that replaces need for food with need for revenge 11. sleeping 19 hours a day 12. realizing that even the liberal media wants dem clicks no matter whut 13. worrying ceaselessly about the health and safety of women you know and women you don't 14. realizing who ya real friends are 15. having to switch from Uber to Lyft (lots of calories burned trying to understand a new app, then even more trying to understand if the conflict was resolved) 16. bladder spasms, urinary frequency and urgency * 17. having your phone number leaked and violent images texted to your phone by randos under names like VERYFATCHUCKYBOY@creepz.com 18. keeping your back arched against the wind 19. um, who the fuck cares? 20. I have no tips I give no tips I don't want to be on this cover cuz it's diametrically opposed to everything I've fought my whole career for and it's not a compliment to me because it's not an achievement thanx * Star indicates a pre-existing condition

A post shared by Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) on

Lena took to Instagram to counter the cover line with politically charged "slim-down tips" such as: "an election that reveals the true depts of American misogyny," along with "constant sweaty dreams of dystopian future," and "worrying ceaselessly about the health and safety of women you know and women you don't." And for her final statement, Lena doubled down.

"I have no tips I give no tips I don't want to be on this cover cuz it's diametrically opposed to everything I've fought my whole career for and it's not a compliment to me because it's not an achievement thanx," she said, in summary. Any questions?

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