Beyond Bravo

Funny Mom of Two Admits To "Crappy" Things She Does To Her Kids

She has no guilt over forcing them to nap so she can watch TV.

Mom of two Olivia White admits she’s not perfect. 

The Australian mommy blogger has two daughters, Annabelle, 2, and Teddy 4 months, and writes to connect with other moms—and in one recent post she admits to the “crappy things” she’s done since she became a mom. “We are all trying to do our best, and be the best mothers we can be. But sometimes, it’s just about getting to the end of the day alive – right?!” she says. “Here are some of my not-so-perfect mum confessions… I’m sure you can secretly relate to a few! (Or I’m just a really crappy mum).”

Admitting she can sometimes be selfish, Olivia admitted to not taking her daughter to her swimming class because it was cold out and she didn’t want to get into the pool herself. She also doesn’t feel like changing diapers. 

“I smelt poo, but I waited till my husband noticed it so I didn’t have to change it,” she writes. 

Olivia admits deep mom thoughts, saying she even fantasizes about getting in her car and running away, “or at least going to get McNuggets.” She also feeds her baby packets of remade puree because she doesn’t feel like doing it herself.

She also has a trick for when she has to fly with her babies. “I gave my toddler Phenergan on the plane so she would sleep the whole flight. (It was awesome),” she says.

Olivia says she’s left the house smelling like puke because if the baby threw up on her once, she’ll probably do it again.

She then heads to daycare, where she knows the staff will feed her toddler. 

Naturally she has accidents sometimes, and admits she “accidentally clipped my babies finger when cutting her nails and made it bleed (I was pretty upset about this one).”

Alone time is also something she cherishes, saying she makes time for TV and can’t stand hearing noisy toys. “I told my daughter her annoying phone toy was broken when really I just removed the batteries,” she writes. “I force the kids to take a nap at midday so I can watch Ellen in peace.”

She’ll also “skip pages in the book when reading to my kids at bedtime,” puts her baby to sleep crying and walks out, and uses them to get out of dates with friends. “I use my kids to get out of social engagements all the time. ‘Sorry babe, the babies really sick so were gonna stay home,’” she says.

She’s used her mother-in-law to “watch the kids for an hour,” but won’t come back for three hours. Then when she does get back, she “sits in the car for ages with the kids strapped in just so I can reply to texts/make phone calls/Snapchat/check Instagram.”

And best of all, Olivia has a “wine allowance” in her weekly grocery shopping budget, which allows her to stay sane. 

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