When relationship expert and Platinum Poire owner Rori Sassoon married her husband, he already had three kids and she had one. Then they had two together.
Rori says she had to learn the ins and outs of having a blended family as her now husband and her got serious, and says there is one common mistake couples make when they find themselves in a modern day Brady Bunch situation.
“Blended families are close to my heart, my family is a blended family,” she explains. “The biggest problem that happens today is women with no children, who marry a guy with children.”
Rori says in that case, or vice versa (a woman with children and a man with no children), no one should say “my kids come first.”
“Everyone already knows that, you don’t have to say it,” says Rori. “Your children are your children, blood is always thicker.”
She says that both your kids and your partner hold an equally important role in your life.
“One is apples, one is oranges,” she says, adding that the time you spend investing in each other can bring you as close as your kids.
Rori says if she didn’t love her husband’s kids, it never would have worked. And that there are blended family rules she follows religiously.
“We never would fight in front of the children, we disagree in private, and in front of all the kids, it’s united we stand,” she says. “As a family you need to be on the same page. You need to have open communication, honesty and goals. The person w the kids sets the tone for how important their children are in this picture.”
But she reiterates, in a blended family, don’t say “my kids come first.”
“You show them you’re a great mom or dad and your partner will have resect for you,” Rori says. “I met my husband’s kids after four months, and it was great, he is a great dad. I said if this is how this is how he treats his kids, how about his wife? And he’s great.”
Finally, she gives advice on when to leave the relationship because your blended family won’t work.
“You need to reevaluate their relationship if you don’t like your partner’s kids,” she says. “They’re not going anywhere, it’s a negative way to start up a relationship, by not liking their family.”
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