Shmooper Bowl: Our Favorite Animals from the 2017 Festivities

Our favorite animals took to the tiny fields.

Yesterday, a whole buttload of people watched a football game starring some humans we’ve never heard of and Lady Gaga. (Her dog Asia was sadly absent from her otherwise flawless performance.) And while those people were watching throws and catches and stops and starts and other boring stuff, we smart people were tuned into the real action: all the animal bowls.

Animal-themed counterprogramming started 12 years ago with Animal Planet’s inaugural Puppy Bowl. The show’s success found it expanding from just the game, to an added kitten halftime show, to post-game wrap-ups. The show now draws over 10 million viewers (!!!) during its 12-hour block. Here are some puppy POV highlights from last night’s game:

This year’s halftime show starred Kitty Gaga (in her meat dress, natch), and the Rock Cats. Unlike her human counterpart, Kitty Gaga did not jump off the roof of the NRG Stadium (although she might as well have, what with the nine lives and all). But even without the stunts, her performance was exceptionally high-energy, and the whole band showed off some impressive instrument-playing and dance skills.

The Puppy Bowl wasn’t nearly as close a squeaker as the actual Super Bowl (weird, considering how many squeaky toys there were): Team Fluff had the highest-ever Puppy Bowl score, beating Team Ruff 93-38. MVP went to Rory, a 17-week-old poodle mix, who scored three touchdowns in the first quarter. As always, every Puppy Bowl player is up for adoption. (See each dog’s profile for shelter information.)

Congratulations to Rory for winning #PuppyBowl MVP!

A photo posted by Animal Planet (@animalplanet) on

Meanwhile, over at the fourth annual Kitten Bowl—which airs on the Hallmark Channel—an underdog (er, undercat) practice squad member named Noodles ran it back for a touchdown, helping the Home & Family Felines beat out the Last Hope Lions. The MVP is up for adoption through the North Shore Animal League, along with Mew Brees, Tom Bratty Cat, Tony Slo-mo, and all the other players.

And just in case you were concerned that only mammals were enjoying big game action, Annie’s Homegrown came out of nowhere to introduce their first annual Bunny Bowl. The tiny little lagomorphs enjoyed an hour-long game that streamed live on Facebook. It was the LongEars versus the Lops in what is easily the hoppingest of all the animal-Super Bowl send-ups. And, of course, all of the buns are up for adoption, courtesy of RabbitEARS.

Puppies, kittens, and bunnies not your thing? (WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?) Please enjoy this chicken’s moving rendition of the America the Beautiful.

God bless America, indeed.

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