After years of years of dating the wrong guys (including a few who were certifiable), I walked into a bar with my pretty blonde friend Marisa and boom, there he was, standing there ordering a drink. We talked all night and this August, we will be married for two years. (I edit Personal Space, by the way.) Since the wedding, I wear my engagement ring, along with a simple wedding band, most of the time, while my husband doesn’t wear a wedding ring at all. He has one from the ceremony, and wore it that night, but ever since it has been sitting in a box in our apartment. After asking him about it, I understand that he just truly hates jewelry. I myself enjoy a little bling.
It doesn’t bother me that he doesn’t wear his ring. I don’t believe he’s hiding anything, and I know he mentions me in casual conversation, which I think is sweet. It’s not like he’s hiding the fact he has a wife, that would take an awful lot of effort, especially since I’m skilled at diving deep online for information, and would probably put it together like the private eye I am. If he was hiding a second family, I think I’d figure it out. Plus, I branded him with a cattle iron, monogrammed with my initials. Kidding. He just doesn't disappear around holidays or leave crumpled hotel bills around.
But not everyone is blasé about their partner skipping the whole ring thing. Men and women who weighed in have strong opinions, ranging from their partner must wear the ring, to just one half of a couple wearing theirs is fine.
Writer Adam Garcia says his father hasn't worn his wedding ring as long as he's been married to his mother, saying “he couldn't be more in love with her.”
Editor Corynne Steindler Cirilli and her husband Dave both lost their rings and haven’t replaced them since.
“My husband lost his in the ocean during vacation (I was not upset) and I misplaced mine somewhere in our house during our move. It didn't fit during/after pregnancy so I got used to not wearing it as much and never really devoted myself to looking for it. (I know where my engagement ring its.) Now neither of us wear a wedding ring! But every day we say we need to get new ones. I guess eventually we will,” she says.
Scientist Noelle Parisi Dahl, who is married to a doctor, says both her and her husband wear gloves at work all day, so neither wear their rings on a regular basis.
Hairstylist Briggette Baust is single, but says her father never wore his ring. “He just didn't like jewelry. The only thing he ever wore was his watch,” she says.
Angela Rubin and her husband Ari love Star Wars, Harry Potter, and Lord of the Rings. In order to get him to wear a wedding band, the couple came up with an idea to make it fun.
“Ari (who doesn't like jewelry and wears none) loves wearing his ring, because it is a gold band engraved with ‘Angela and Ari, 8/1’ translated into Black Speech and written in Elvish letters, a la the One Ring from Lord of The Rings. He went on numerous nerdy message boards to find the translation. I think it was his favorite part of getting married,” she says.
Relationship expert Kristi Price says she never wore her wedding rings when she used to own a horse training business.
“They would get trashed. In addition, I'm not a big ring wearer. I believe that wearing a wedding ring doesn't make one faithful. It's the love, trust and bond two people have that keeps them connected and true to their vows and/or commitment. If someone is going to cheat, wearing a wedding band isn't going to change that. They'll just take it off (among other things) for the occasion,” she says.
New Jersey native Matt Gennone says his wife “hates” that he doesn’t wear his ring daily, calling it a “touchy subject” in his house.
Kevin Robles actually “trained” himself to wear his wedding ring, saying he still constantly loses it.
“I don't wear jewelry, but I managed to train myself to wear the wedding ring…I’ve lost my ring in a field, on our honeymoon in the pool of a cruise liner, a softball field, and my front lawn,” he says. “Found it every single time. My wife however keeps making me upgrade hers, kind of annoying I thought diamonds are forever apparently they meant buying them forever. After so many years my ring isn't even round anymore.”
And this husband had a rough day of searching in the hot sun after losing his ring in the ocean in Ireland.
“My wife had to go to Dublin early one morning to get a UK visa to accompany me for work. So I threw a party that night. While she sensibly went to bed early I stayed up late drinking with a bunch of friends and took a drunken swim at about 3 a.m. My ring fell off in the ocean. I felt so guilty. So the next morning I pretended to be asleep when she left…but the minute she left I ran out to buy a metal detector and go back to the beach while the tide was out. It was the only sunny day in western Ireland so I got really sunburned and you can imagine how the Irish reacted to the sunburned Yank waving a metal detector all over the sand,” explains Patrick Gallahue. “The best response came from my neighbor who walked by and shouted, ‘Don't listen to 'em! Finders keepers losers weepers!’ After about five or six hours I actually found it! ... And then lost it again a couple of years later at the beach in Puerto Rico.”
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