Beyond Bravo

Someone Brought an Uninvited Plus One To My Wedding…and It Was a Nightmare

Some people don't really mind if you mind. 

Most people with a basic understanding of manners and rules would not just bring an uninvited plus one to a wedding. There’s no seat for them, no meal for them, and the bride is eyeballing the person like a hawk. Don’t think she didn’t notice. Some guests just don’t mind if they didn’t get a plus one, that's nonsense, they’re bringing someone anyway. So squeeze over, there’s an extra person at the table. 

Kevin, 34, from New York, says when he got married his mother and now wife decided it would be a good idea to invite one of his ex-girlfriends. 

“At some point it wasn't even a choice for me,” he laughs. “This ex would have married me, so it was really awkward. Especially when she asked to have a dance with me. I could see how she was thinking, ‘this should be be marrying him,’ I was like this sucks. But the moment passed and I lived through it. I still tell them to this day that it was messed up what they did to me.  Apparently they didn’t care.”

Marni, 31, who was married in South Beach, Miami recently, says one of her husband’s groomsmen was not given a plus one, which he decided to ignore. 

“He ended up inviting a random girl, who I'm pretty sure was a stripper, to the the wedding,” she says. “We are also not friends with that groomsman anymore.”

Marni says in order to avoid a scene, she let the woman stay for the reception, saying she “didn’t have a choice.”

“It was definitely awkward though,” she says. “She was on her phone majority of the time. In fact in the pictures I have of guests is her in the background glued to her phone. Also, that groomsman thought he was going to sleep with her and it seemed like she was totally uninterested in him in that way. I have no idea why she came, maybe free food?”

Ali, who was recently married in the South of France, says that while one of her husband’s friends couldn't make it at the last minute, his wife still came. 

“And brought her 17-year-old son because he has the same name as his dad and could use his airline ticket. He seemed a little awkward the whole time,” she says. 

Laurenne, from Indiana, says she had someone bring two dates to her wedding, 

“Like one guy actually brought two girls,” she says. “I’m not sure if I was more angry or impressed.”

Jack, 41, from New York, says he invited one guy to his 300 person wedding that he was having doubts about. 

“Against my gut feeling I invited a single dude with a plus one. Last minute he grabbed a girl that could not handle her booze,” he says. “Luckily nothing happened at the venue but on the buses back to the hotel (after party R. Kelly style) she did not feel well. Paid a ton of money for flowers and collected all the centerpieces and was going to hand out to family. But the bus ride was too much for beer and tequila shots and she ralphed (threw up) in the bag with all centerpieces. No more flowers, plus an additional cost to clean bus. On the bright side did not set off a puke fest!”

Marc and Seth, married in New Jersey in 2014, with Marc inviting an ex who he was never that serious with. 

“The ex never sent a reply card, so I followed up with email. He said he was coming and he was bringing his sister with him,” says Seth. “Not that the invite said ‘and guest’ on it. But Eric knew his sister and my side of the family outnumbered Eric's so I didn't do anything or comment to the guy. But we had a small venue and frankly, we could have invited someone else! I did make sure they were seated as far from us as possible.”

Seth says that wasn’t even the truly weird part. “Their wedding gift to us was a gift card for a couples massage at Massage envy,” he says. 

According to wedding website The Knot, there is wedding etiquette to follow if someone unexpectedly shows up. 

“Make sure he/she has a seat at a table. While most planners won't scramble to write a place card, it may be possible to work with the venue to put out an extra chair. If seating arrangements are tight, the surprise guest may have to sit far from his date. That's their problem -- not yours.”

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