I love you on the show! Since you are a mother, I'm hoping that you can help me to work out a relationship wtih my own Mother. First of all, I'm very close to my Mother and I love her very much. In fact, I am a working adult, but I have chosen to buy a home very close to my parents. In many ways, this works out wonderfully. But, in some ways, I think that it is stunting my growth as a single adult.
Specifically, my Mother expects that I come to her house to eat dinner with her and my father each night (both weekday and weekend). I did not realize she would expect this of me when I bought my home. I believe that this is first and foremost because she genuinely wants to see me and spend time with me. But I also believe that this stems from her empty nest syndrome; I believe that she really wants to still mother me as she did when I was a teenager (I am now 27 and completely financially independent). If I call and say that I will not be over for dinner for whatever reason (either I go out with friends, go out on a date, or just want to relax at my own home) she interrogates me on what I am doing instead and sometimes guilts me in the way only she can! In these instances, I oftentimes just give in and say that I will come over to her house afterall. I do want to spend time with my parents. But, being expected at their house each night is not good for my own social life nor is it good for my dog (who I would like to spend more time with after being away from home working each day). Furthmore, it forces me to "check-in" and almost get permission to do things outside of my parents home, even though I no longer live there. I know that my Mother feels that she is protecting me. But, to me, it's becoming stiffling.
Can you please provide some advice? I would like to set boundaries, but this is a very delicate issue since I must be respectful and I know that my Mom has been struggling with empty nest (my sister moved out of state last year for graduate school). Furthermore, I don't want to completely compromise my relationship with my Mother. My only other option is selling my house and moving. I'm at the point in my life where I really want and need to "fly free" and find my own way as an adult. Please help?