“People say, 'Just communicate.' That's kind of BS,” she says.

on Apr 20, 2012 - The Dish0

Listen, Bethenny Frankel may have found her dashing prince from Pennsylvania, but that doesn’t mean happily-ever-after comes without its hiccups.

"[Jason and I] have had strains. We've had major fights," Bryn Casey’s mama confides to Self. We know, B. On this season’s Bethenny Ever After, viewers turned bystanders in some of the couple’s heated don’t-go-there moments. Um, awkward. "When I signed on to do this show, I committed to myself and my fans to be totally honest. You cannot show people only the petals and not the thorns. It's not fair to them."

But the bickering has also allowed Bethenny a clearer look at the big picture. “People say, 'Just communicate.' That's kind of BS,” the sharp-tongue Skinnygirl adds. “To have a strong relationship, you have to argue in a healthy way. Sometimes, you've got to back down. Don't escalate things, and don't bring up unrelated stuff." Dr. Amador, we see you smiling proudly.

Then again, there are other components to a successful marriage. "Like Nike says, Just Do It!” Bethenny advises about getting sex into the schedule. “Figure out the pattern that works for both of you. I'm tired at night, but I'm in a 'place of yes' in the morning if I wake up before Bryn does. Jason loves it anytime, any way he can get it, so he's happy whenever.”


What other advice is Bethenny rolling out? Keep up with her wise words by using our Tweet Tracker.

 

 

20 comments
loyal viewer
loyal viewer

you are starting to exhaust me. i used to laugh at your antics, now they seem to be more for the camera than anything else. you should really just stop turning every single comment into a one-liner. you're not a stand-up comic and trust me, i've been a fan of yours from the beginning. now...not so much.

ROMANIAUSA
ROMANIAUSA

Bethenny: "Strong Relationships Have Arguments" Yes they do, and You are a very good person you need to BELIEVE, YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON, it is in your best intrest to belive it and it is the truth! oh, and another thing...YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON, do not let anybody say otherways..love for you guys from MICHIGAN.

canuck43
canuck43

You guys are a young and new family, and you're still working out the kinks. You're still sorting out the best communication style for the both of you. The changes in your lives have been all of the top 5? LOL Marriage, baby, moving, employment, bereavement...and you are sticking it out together. Which means that you obviously love each other (this is obvious on the show). Hubby and I have had a similar start (minus the fantastic success you have). Met and married in 18 months, baby #1 18 months later and baby #2 the following 18 months. Hubby had 2 employment changes by their design during that time. Toss in some in-laws that...well, I'll leave it at that. We really hadn't found our stride by year 5 and I had enough. I hated walking on eggshells in my own home, and I was done. Couples therapy gave us tools to sort thru it, but it was still a bumpy ride. Marriage is work, no doubt. Sometimes raising kids is easier. BUT we were/are committed. Now I'm in a place where I'm unemployed, and it's tough, but we're getting thru it. Again, it's about commitment. If momma and daddy are in a happy place together, then the family will be in just as good a place.

Keep talking, keep touching and keep laughing. Keep the commitment.

Love your show, and all the best,

Canuck43

shirleyathome
shirleyathome

Love her and her show but I am getting sick of how she treats her husband. I also think so is very cold to her husband's family,maybe because she hates her own. She needs to let things go and move on. I think her husband needs some tender loving care also. He get's none that I see. He will be in therapy too! Relax Bethany and live minute by minute. You miss so much that is right in front of you. Men and women are different..but they both need care..trust and support. STOP complaining !!!! Love yah !

bravo fan
bravo fan

Hello, I think FAY Y said it all to you,,,you and Jason have a very very good life and you just need to focus on yourselves and your daughter Bryn. It reall does not hurt to have a dissagreement once in awhile but you let the littlest things bother you!!! Jason needs to back off of the small things,,,life is just too short. Go back to when you had that feeling when you first met and could not get enough of each other. You have all of this help with Bryn,,,make time for you and Jason and he needs to do the same!!! Your birthday trip was awsome,, realize how really lucky you are that this man really TRUELY LOVES YOU!!!! yOU SHOULD REALLY COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!! MOST WOMEN WOULD DIE FOR A LIFE LIKE YOURS !! Forget what your mother has to say!!! I had a mother that did not treat me very good either,,,I know what that is like,,,not good ,,,,so move on!!! Everyone has things to deal with in their lives. You are a good person,,and you really need to BELIEVE THAT!!! GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AND I PRAY YOU WORK THINGS OUT!!

Mary G.
Mary G.

BTW, strong relationships have "arguments" with rules that don't attack the self-esteem of one or both parties. Jason is always going for the jugular, and then Bethenny goes for her own jugular. If this relationship is to succeed, he ought to be held to his promise of being more tolerant and accepting of her personality problems. Instead, he pretends to love the birthday present of the golf holiday and the a few days later rips into her for not including his parents. It's as though she can't do anything to please him and (unless this is a perception fostered by the editing), she must always be on edge waiting for the next sneak attack. How is she supposed to change her behavior to prevent the attacks when she can't figure out what prompts the attacks?

amarymary
amarymary

when you are successful it is hard for men who still have the well, "men" mentality. they think they should bring home all the bacon, no matter how progressive they think they are. i really like you are both dedicated to making this union a life union and work through the issues. and, bethenny, really need to know these are not your problems, they are his and your reactions are creating more of a problem. he needs to figure out him. or, let him buy into the biz so it is both your biz's and you have a 50/50 share of the profits and can pay you back with his half of the profits. just a suggestion. amazing how much i am invested in a stranger's life. gets to be we think of you like family. very funny. i love the food crawl guy. he is hilarious. what a great escape from it all type of guy.

Jconmer
Jconmer

Love bethenny and the show...but sometimes i wonder if she takes into account what it would be like to be married to Bethenny..everything is centered around her, her business, her show, her brand, her issues. It would be very emasculating for a man. It's in a man's nature to need to be a provider and have something of his own too. I also feel like she expects him to understand where she's coming from with her background but doesn't necessarily give credence to the fact that his parents lost their other son. That would be so devastating. So naturally they Re going to want to be über-involved with Bryn and Jason. That's all the have. Can she imagine having Bryn get married to someone who isn't a family person and therefore wouldn't have anything to do with her or Jason as inlaws??? She needs to stand in their shoes too...

twinkiltoes
twinkiltoes

Bethany, Watching your show reminds me so much of me in different ways. It appears to me you are sabotaging your relationship with Jason, probably cause unconsiously you don't think you deserve him. I did that my entire life till I was like 40 and finally I figured out the problem was me and went to a shrink. What I discovered was I grew up in a lot of turmoil and drama, so when I was in a relationship with a good person where there was no turmoil or drama I created it. I would drive that person away. Maybe I am wrong but it sure looks like you are doing the same. I have been in a relationship now for 15 years and we are getting married in a week. It is easy.. we never argue there is no drama and for the first time in my life I am happy just being happy with no drama. I wish that for you and Jason, you are good people.

frances brown
frances brown

Watching last nite's episode was a little sad. All Bethenny wants is a peaceful birthday vacation and Jason just wants to argue at every turn. We all see now how Jason really is!!! Believe me, I'm not saying Betheny is by any means perfect and she certainly has a mouth on her, however, Jason constantly brings up the past. How can you move on to the present/future when someone is always bringing up old stuff? Say what you have to say... talk it out or argue... then be done with it. This marriage will never work if this is what they do all the time. Look how Jason kept bringing up his birthday without his parents being included. Who does that? Why didn't his parents do something for him themselves? That's not Bethany's responsibility. And her having a pre-nup is dead on. If Jason or his parents don't like it...TOO DAMN BAD!!! They dated quickly, got pregnant quickly and married quickly. They didn't get enough time to get to know each other first. Bethany needs to learn to stop arguing with Jason. Listen to what he has to say, say what she needs to say and when he still brings it up, ignore him. He can't argue by himself.

Anna G.
Anna G.

Bethenny dear, do you see a resemblance of your parents' bickering in your dialogue with Jason? If so, do you see any point in the conversation that you need to change? Perhaps you may not realize it, but could you try to see yourself and say, "Oh! I sound like my mother!" Our parents are/were not perfect, and neither are we. We shouldn't hold our parents' imperfections against them. Perhaps they did the best they knew how. Take me for example, when my own parents said "shut up" to each other constantly, I swore I would not let those words be a part of my own marriage. I made that clear to my husband, and it's a rule that neither one of us would use those words. The point is, we can learn from our parents' mistakes and try our hardest not to repeat them. Thank you for being so honest with your life on the show! I have learned many things from you.

Fay Y
Fay Y

Bethenny, I watch you and Jason and I am in utter amazement. I am watching myself and my spouse 28 yrs ago. We fell in love, when we didn't expect to. I got pregnant! Each of us came from marriages where the other "blamed" us and no longer to be with either of us because we couldn't have children. So, when we met, long after our divorces we laughed that how odd that our previous partners literally "dumped us" because WE couldn't produce children! So,lets go back. after 9 mos dating and like you I find out I'm pregnant. John is over the moon, I'm like I don't care that at 31 I'm finally pregnant and I'm NOT MARRIED! So, we talked about what we would do. John said the same thing Jason said, I AM COMMITTED TO YOU and OUR BABY! I'm in this for the long haul. I took the fact being pregnant as this is the MAN! I loved him, he loved me. we did every thing together. So, we got married, 7 mos later we had our FIRST SON, Jason Robert. He turns 27 on June 3rd. We had our SECOND SON, lots more work. WE were committed, 6 years later, Jonathan Taylor. He turned 21 on March 24th. The part of you and Jason that is so similar.When we started, I worked @ Lg. Bank, well known to you, as a Jr Officer. and I had worked so hard, finished my Business Degree and I was ready for my BIG PROMOTION, An Officer! But, during the early 80's women didn't get promoted being pregnant or if they had a baby. Management thought, they "they can't work endless hours, (for free) salary, they won't be dedicated. This was "my skinny girl"! John, was his own boss, owned his business.Of course, he thought he should be at his business! I worked for a corporation and I can work, I loved to work! But, he had his own ideas of how things should go about baby, where to take baby and he would be there to talk it out, but,havings his own preconcieved ideas of who and when things should happen, because "HE OWNED HIS BUSINESS! I was on the road of my career and had worked like a fool to get where I was. I even worked as a collector for the bank, repoing cars, businesses, farm animals, FARMS, HOUSES!During the Vietnam War! He knew and LOVED THAT ABOUT ME! My independence, I DON'T GIVE UP, Im Tenacious, I GET WHAT I WANT! So, the 1st year was learning and giving to each other. 2nd yr.,He was passive aggressive, sound familiar, and I was right out there, just say what you mean! He was very much like your Jason. And everybody saw him as PERFECT! He sent me flowers, cards, sent limousines. SO, I know its NOT the same, but....we,like you and Jason knew we loved each other very, very much! You and Jason have a wonderful life. Me, watching you both..he is trying hard to understand and yet he sometimes just doesn't want to. And you, you have no filter. And YOU have always said to him, "JUST BE OPEN", "I can deal with TRUTHS",and he does. But, you both love each other so much, I think you are so scared that he LOVES you so much. He said tonight, what if she doesn't want this anymore, and that scares me! You have done so much your first TWO YEARS! I was made not just an officer, but, ASST VICE PRESIDENT!! He made $20,000 in his business the first Qtr 1984! #'s are smaller, but, where there is LOVE like yours and Jason. And we your audience compare ourselves and root for your success. That success! Not skinny girl, but, you and Jason and Bryn! Don't take everything so serious. No one will remember how hard you worked, but, they will say, "If we could have a relationship and love like that ! The way he looks at her, touches her and laughes with you and at you! Just like he did when YOU introduced your Jason to all of us! And you loved that about him! So, 28 yrs later I look at my John and we talk about our Jason, our grandbaby, Carter. Our Jonathan who is studying to be a Chemist. Those are the MILLIONS and if I could hang with my John for all these years, you and Jason have it IN THE BAG! There is a light at the end of the tunnel and LOVE is there too. So, I can't wait to see the 2nd baby!And the years will be beautiful, you just wait and see!!! Love to both you and Jason and BRYN!

elaine58
elaine58

For goodness sake Bethenny, you are breaking my heart! Watching the episode tonight was painful. To see two people so blessed, at each others throat over such petty things is hard to take. I understand there is more to this than the viewers know but whatever it is has to be resolved. Don't let it tear your marriage apart.

As much as I love you and this show, if this show is bringing on more stress, let it go.

I want to see you two enjoying life, each other, and most of all bringing up your precious daughter.

Elm Grove WI Viewer
Elm Grove WI Viewer

bethany - get it together ....neither of you are perfect...and use all that you learned from therapy to make it work....you both need to work on your own issues and grow together......

sotw
sotw

Bethenny. HA, HA, HA. What goes up must come down.

Nicolelly
Nicolelly

well its only bull if you dont treat each other right. jASON CAN BE MEAN TOO BUT YOU HAVE A VERY FOUL MOUTH HALF THE TIME. THATS THE TRUTTH. SO I SEE HIS POINT AS WELL. AND IT DOES COME OFF LIKE JASON THINKS HE IS PERFECT AND HE IS NOT . WE CAN ALL SEE THAT THIS SEASON. HOPEFULLY YOU TWO STAY TOGTHER AND WORK IT OUT. SAW A PREVIEW OF YUO SAYING IM NOT HAPPY. THATS NOT GOOD AT ALL. WISHING YOU ALL THE BEST OF LUCK

Barbara in NY
Barbara in NY

Too much information. Bethany needs a filter.

Susie Q.
Susie Q.

I used to think u needed a stronger man BUT "he" would just make u a timid woman! Y ou need Jason - u all just need therapy 2/3x per week to stay together! His parents r so important to him. I know it is so hard to include them in ur CRAZY schedule - very tuff for ALL! Good luck!!!

K.B.
K.B.

Actually the real trick is to find a partner strong enough and emotionally mature enough to fight in a constructive way to grow the relationship with you. Nothing good in a relationship comes from an unfair fight with a partner that is obviously not on the same page. While watching these two slug it out more than a few times has been (at least to me) distressing, I feel they have a good shot at the long haul as long as they keep the fights fair, the issues up front, and the passive-agressive bs to a minimal. I love Bethenny and Jason as a couple, and I adore Bryn and Cookie. I have to say, I'm invested in seeing them all end up in a happy place.