If Dana Wilkey flew Santa's sleigh over 90210, she knows exactly what presents she'd drop off for her Real Housewives of Beverly Hills buds.
First up on her reindeer route? Camille Grammer's palatial spread. "I'd get her a $1,000 gift card for self-defense classes. That way, if the girls on the show ever get out of line with her again, she'll know how to fight back!" Dana tells Wetpaint.
Swinging by the Umansky abode, Dana would slide luxe beauty products down Kyle Richards' chimney. "Kyle always says she wants to avoid the needle, so I'd get her the Zsa Zsa skincare line. It's like plastic surgery in a bottle! It starts at $200, but it’s worth every penny."
Speaking of got-to-have-it gifts, Brandi Glanville receives "An Agent Provocateur Mariett bra and an instruction manual on how to use it." Zing. Continuing the jokes, she says she'd also get Lisa Vanderpump a more prominent pooch, "like a Golden Retriever. ... Can you imagine Lisa walking something that size?"
Switching back to sweet mode, Dana would dole out thousands to Taylor Armstrong's charity, the 1736 Family Crisis Center, and Kim Richards would unwrap a swanky vacation. "I'd give her and her family a week at Skibo Castle in Scotland so she could relax and be treated like a princess while bonding with her kids, her sisters and their children, too," the marketing exec says.
What about Adrienne Maloof? Find out what Dana chose (it's not shoes!) at Wetpaint.com.
Now what should Kyle, Camille and crew get for Dana? Start a Tweet Battle, and make your case.