Sweet Lisa, don't give up on your dream! I was never suppose to have children & I have 4 sons! My son & his wife tried for 13 yrs. During that time they both had unsuccessful surgeries & were finally told they would never have children; not even with in vitro. They have a beautiful boy & a girl! A friend struggled & were told they might not be able to conceive & they had a beautiful little girl in Sept! We are all Christians. I know you are probably thinking, "Oh great some religious nut!" But I'm not going to try & cram religion down your throat I just wanted to tell you what happened. When my son & his wife couldn't conceive their church laid hands on them & prayed. One of the members, an older woman, told them while praying, she had seen them with 2 children. I, of course, was praying that when they were ready, that He would give them a child. FYI We live in different states. Then she got pregnant & we knew this was a miracle God had given them! Sadly, at 6 weeks, the baby died. As Christians, this was really hard to understand & we all were just heartbroken! Why would He give them this miracle baby & then snatch it away! But we all continued to pray & as I said, they have 2 children now. About 2 yrs ago, I felt God putting it on my heart to pray for someone named Karen. I tried to think who it might be but the only Karen I knew was in high school which was over 40 yrs ago! But this had never happened to me before but I prayed for Karen. A couple of weeks later during my pain group (we are a group of people who live with disabilities & chronic pain), one of my closer friends in the group ask us to prayer for her friend who had just had her final in vitro procedure because they had no more money. I looked at my friend & ask her name. I'm sure I don't have to tell you but her name was Karen! Even today I get chills when I think of this happening. Karen & her husband have a beautiful baby boy! About a year or so ago, the same close friend in our pain group was having trouble getting pregnant. So they went through the fertility tests & were finally told it was a long shot. Of course, when she told me, I started praying & eventually everyone in our group was praying for them. Several months later, we were at a church service together & He revealed to me she was going to have a baby. I know that sounds qwerky but it's just like this overwhelming confirmation you feel in your heart. So as we were walking back to our seats, I looked at her & said, "You ARE going to get pregnant because I saw it. Not seconds later we walked past a mom with a newborn & I told her this was God revealing it to her also. They just had a beautiful baby girl in Sept! Let me tell you I have not been a devout Christian all my life, heavily involved in a church or anything like that. In fact, my relationship with Christ & the church has been sketchy at best. I could take up more of your time telling you the odd journey to get where I am with Christ now but I wouldn't do that to you. :) But I will say, about 10 yrs ago after moving up here, we started attending a church which had a really great Pastor. So in this timeframe, I have become much closer to Christ though I have a long way to go because I am a doubting Thomas with a very logical mind! But I am, & have been praying for you & Lenny. So I just want you to not give up! I pray you will be able to get pregnant & carry your own child but if you do need a surrogate, just focus on your sweet precious child you will hold in your arms. All in all, 9 months is not much time compared to the lifetime you will have with your child! I don't know if you are a Christian but you can pray to Christ whether you are or not. You just have to have faith that He will answer your prays though it may not be in the same timeframe or way you expect it. So Lisa & Lenny, I lift you both up that Christ will hear my prayers & give you a child to love & care for! And know I will continue to pray for you daily!