"We were as mean...as we'd ever been," the RHONJ writes of her ongoing family feud with the Giudices.

on Jul 15, 2013 - The Dish

It was an emotionally charged moment in The Real Housewives of New Jersey history on last night's episode: Joe Giudice and Joe Gorga had a violent smackdown while on a family retreat in Lage George, NY (watch it below).

The outburst was just the latest chapter in the ongoing feud between the Gorgas and Giudices and Melissa Gorga has taken to her blog to reflect on the painful moment.

"We started off awkward, got angry, and then furious, and spiraled down until we were at the lowest of the low," she writes in her latest blog post. "While we were in Lake George, we were as mean and petty and disrespectful as we'd ever been in the ten years we've known each other.”

Melissa also says she and her husband Joe Gorga were "skeptical" about going on the retreat in the first place.

"There have been too many times when we put a band-aid on our issues with Teresa, and we would always fall back to the same negative place," she writes. "We decided if we were going to go to this retreat, we weren’t going to be fake. We didn’t want to throw a blanket on the problems that were hurting our family.

Melissa certainly didn't hold back: at one point, she got on her hands and knees and begged her sister-in-law Teresa Giudice for forgiveness.

Looking back, Melissa shares, "It may have seemed harsh, but we were being real and we truly wanted to get to the bottom of the problem. That was obviously not going to be easy. When people don’t want to be honest and pretend they want to fix things you can never really move forward. There were so many ugly things being said about us and we just wanted it to stop."

Will the Gorgas and the Giudices reach a reconciliation? Melissa doesn't spill too many details: "They say you have to hit rock bottom before you can climb your way out. You’ll find out if “they” are right."