Watch Tamra read the insane, viral Maryland soroity email as only a Real Housewife could.

on Apr 26, 2013 - The Dish0

If there’s one thing that Real Housewives know, it’s how to use their words.  “The morally corrupt Faye Resnick,” “Gone with the wind fabulous,” and, of course, “Prostitution whore!” are just some examples of their verbal abilities.  So when we read the colorful language of the Maryland sorority email heard round the interweb, we knew only one woman could truly capture its essence.

The Real Housewife of Orange County wordsmith, Tamra Barney, penmen of “Jesus Jugs” among many other fabulous turns of phrase, took our challenge to read the biting email and really showed us how it’s done. Yes, there have been other attempts.  Michael Shannon puts in a pretty great performance over at Funny or Die, but when it comes to girl drama, he has nothing on this Bravoleb. <

Our favorite part? It might be when the word “asswipe” causes some confusion for this new gym owner.  Tamra reading, “If you are a little …ass-whip? Ass-whip? Is that a word? Asswipe?” and her utter shock when she discovers its meaning is LITERALLY perfection. 

Or maybe when she comments that this girl is so angry, “She might need to talk to Dr. V., maybe she can prescribe some medication for her.”  Bravolebs to the rescue!

And of course, not to let anyone out-drama herself, Tamra adds her own little spin on the emails warning, “DO NOT GO TO TONIGHT’S EVENT” adding, “Did you hear that, Alexis? Don’t go, oh you already went, too late, right?”  Oh yes, she went.  And Tamra didn’t hesitate to kick Alexis Bellino out of her dinner party screaming, “Butt out?! You get the f--- out" No wonder Tamra's so good at this.

As Tamra says herself, “You know what Andy, you need to hire this girl, I dunno who she is, but she could be the Next Housewife of Maryland.”  We'd like to see that Delta Gamma Reunion.  Although this email is horrible, we repeat, HORRIBLE, we think our ‘Wives could take this self-righteous sorority girl any day.

23 comments
debratn
debratn

unbelievable...even schoolgirls have the decency to talk behind the other girls back.  Tamra is utterly classless.  You would think some of that money would by some tact.  I don't care one fig if Alexis is pretentious.  Their behavior was despicable and therefore completely overshadowed whatever unforgiveable offense Alexis may have committed.  Has anyone noticed how Tamra gets along with no one for any length of time? 

 

mks123456
mks123456

Tamara can dish it out but can't take it. Will Tamara ever post again or will Gretchen and Heather be her puppet and do her talking for her.

egnalag
egnalag

Really tamra, the trailer trash ignorance comes through a lot now. You are so wrapped up in trying to appear the victim and not the bully it's nauseating. I really hope Eddie opens his eyes before saying I do. Your little lap dogs heather and Gretchen are the only things as nauseating as you. Grow up please.

mom2ab
mom2ab

The letter writer is probably the only person more clueless and offensive than Tamra Barney- but its a definitely a close race.

murillo1773
murillo1773

I was really disturbed by the "women's" behavior during tonight's episode, but what REALLY just made me loose the little respect I had left for her, was when Tamra referred to her Eddie's inner "BEANER", really Tamra, just goes to show that you are a person with no class or respect for others. Even more puzzling was that Eddie was not offended by your remark, so he was a let down too! FYI...BRAVO, last I checked the word "Beaner" is just as offensive as the N word for most of us (not Eddie :o(..)

 

patticakz
patticakz

Barney's bullying, Heather's hubris.....I miss the old days.

a.chris.o
a.chris.o

What is going on with Gretchen and Tamra. Gretchen is being so mean since the first few episodes about Alexis. How does Alexis all of a sudden become her enemy when she was the only one with her and Slade when everyone was not. And she doesn't even care. At least Tamra seems to care about Vicki. Tamra and Gretchen should be long gone out of Tv and take Heather with them.. Unless they get their thing together don't they see how they look on Tv.

Oreo6736
Oreo6736

Tamra is obnoxious, and I can't stand watching Gretchen and Slade together, what a group of posers! What the viewers see: Tamra jumps from man to man, never finding her own identity, and so insecure to be on her own without a man, she rushes into another relationship. Poor kids! Gretchen Slade is a joke, and you are so fake! Your were treated so poorly by Tamra in the beginning, and now you are acting just like her!

Boyzrus03
Boyzrus03

In a society that is constantly talking about bullying and mean girls these education blessed women are contributing to the problem. I am not sure who is worse Tamra or Heather. Their better then thou attitude makes me want to vomit.

sharshy
sharshy

Where Tamra went wrong is when she told Vicky, Alexis could attend her party. There are just some people that can't get along. I don't think Alexis should be playing this victim bully card. Tamra, Heather and Gretchen in my opinion were not bulling Alexis. Look at some of the comments here about Tamra if we go by Alexis's "meaning" of bulling then its looks like these comments are bulling Tamra.

karereno
karereno

I was disgusted at how Tamra treated Alexis Bellino. All the women at that table ganged up on Vicki, and Alexis. If you are that insecure and feel the need to be vicious because of it, then you need to take a really close look at yourself. I understand defending yourself at the same time, I think you should conduct yourself like a lady. Kicking a woman out and treating her in that manner and spouting out as she's leaving is not only childish but disgustingly unsophisticated.

najnaj
najnaj

AMEN CALICORVETTE!!!! WELL SAID :)

CaliCorvette
CaliCorvette

Okay....Tamra Barney is an idiot. A total screeching shrew. Shes on this show because shes "the one they love to hate", but seriously, think back...look at her behavior throughout her stint on RHOC...she's zeroed in on someone every season and just pecked the eyeballs outa her victim like the old crow she is. And is it any wonder the boyfriend appears to be getting chilly feet when it comes to this bag and her baggage? I own several successful salons in the Santa Barbara area. I count on my good name and impeccable service as well as good decent behavior to bring in my amazing clientelle. Tamra's nasty attitude and the way she looks down on people she knows(such as cast mates) , trashing them all at every opportunity should be a HUGE red flag for anyone thinking of joining her gym. If she'll cut down her friends and laugh all the way to the bank doing it, why would anyone in thei right mind pay her to add themselves to her list of potential targets. Actions...and boy does she have a ton of them...speak so much louder than words...unless you're Tamra. In her case she should just sit down and shut it..."

bpster
bpster

Why are we listening to Tamera read her own letters? I bet this is her sister!! 

blue22
blue22

 @murillo1773  100% Agree I was offended by it as well, but what do you expect from trailer park Tamara!

karen44
karen44

 @patticakz Agreed...the old days had a little class; at present its just disgusting...

dellamarie
dellamarie

 @sharshy I didn't say these things at a semi-formal dinner party, big difference.  What has happened to mutual respect???  Heather and her "champs" makes me ill.

egnalag
egnalag

@CaliCorvette ...wow that is a good point about joining her gym. She is so gossipy and backstabbing who knows what she would say about you when ur a member of her gym.....ekkkk. Buyer b ware!

MizzouTraveler
MizzouTraveler

 @CaliCorvette I 100% agree.  Though, I don't believe she is 'bullying' Alexis.  Her screeching, crying and constant gossiping to her 'fiance', has got to just rake on his nerves.  Quite frankly, I'd be shocked if he actually walked down the aisle.

hereidbell01
hereidbell01

@MizzouTraveler @CaliCorvette I strongly agree she is a bonifide bully. She is very jealous of Alexis and Vicki as well. She treats them badly. Eddie should run frim this crazy woman. There is no way I would join her Gym. Cut Fitness is what they named their club it fits them. Cut trying to become fit at her damn gym. No way!!