The Real Housewife of Orange County opens up during a speech at the Los Angeles Women's Expo.

on May 28, 2013 - The Dish0


Life may be sweet these days for Real Housewives of Orange County star Tamra Barney, but it wasn’t always that way.

The blond spitfire opened up in a speech featured on last night's episode at the Los Angeles Women’s Expo about her journey to success as an entrepreneur -- and as a woman.

In hear early twenties, after her first divorce, Tamra attempted suicide, she revealed.

“I took a bunch of prescription medication that I found in my mom’s cupboard, then my mom found me and they took me to the hospital. They admitted me into a mental hospital,” Tamra said. 

Caught in a cycle of low self-esteem and being controlled by men, Tamra later found herself in another marriage, without any means of standing up on her own two feet. It was then she found the sparks of entrepreneurship, and as a successful businesswoman today, Tamra is happy professionally and personally, with her fiancé Eddie.

After the speech, Tamra had a serious heart-to-heart with her mother about her troubled childhood. Tamra didn’t understand why her mother didn’t tell her she loved her as a child.

“Do you tell your children you love them all the time?” Tamra’s mom asked her.

“Every day,” Tamra responded. “How come u didn’t tell me that you loved me?”

Tamra’s mom went on to explain that expressing love for her children just wasn’t something she was taught to do, but that her feelings for her children are always there.

“You kids know I love you,” she said. “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, or my grandkids.”

Clearly, it was an emotional day for everyone.  But if Tamra’s Twitter feed is any indication, she’s thrilled with the response from viewers.

49 comments
Valenzuela021711
Valenzuela021711

Part II got cut off when posted...and raise your children the way you would have like to have been raiseed...i wish you all the best..have a great life

crandahl
crandahl

Tamra I for one have always believed in you, I saw something shiny and wistful in you.  Today I want to tell you if I were your Mom I would be so awesomely proud of your growth as a human being.  You have shown compassion, regret, forgiveness and empathy.  I have become so completely disgusted with the jealous, vindictive, hypocritical Vicki.  I realize now how vengeful and passive aggressive she secretly is after the Mexico adventure.  Be afraid of her, be cool but be wary, she is mach five with her hair on fire jealous of you.

KatKreations
KatKreations

Look, it took a lot of courage to get up there and talk about your past life.   I'm guessing Tamra's has been in therapy and IS working on her behavior.  It's never too late to change.  Truth is, we do learn from our parents with regards to certain behaviors.  My parents, especially my mother had a real problem with saying "I love you" and I can tell you my mother never hugged me.  Do I blame her?  No. Her mother was the same way... It's all a learning experience and an awakening.  Three cheers for Tamra and wanting to fix her life.  She was sharing with all those people at the Expo how her childhood - teen years shaped her life.   Often, we do the same things our own parents did to us.  We often follow in their footsteps unknowingly until we have that "A-Ha" moment.

 

I can relate to Tamra -  I was pregnant at 17 yrs old and yes, I was divorced by the time I was about 22 yrs old.  My first two marriages were to men who were controlling and abusive.  I also attempted suicide while married to my daughter's sperm father.  Today, I am happily married for 26 yrs to a man who is 8 yrs my junior.  He is my knight - 

 

Sadly my parents both died in 1997.  My mother was only 66 yrs old when she died.  I got the chance to talk to her after I had a serious meltdown in 1981.  We worked things out and from that day until her death, we had a good relationship.  My daughter took a little bit longer to forgive me for certain things.  She is now 42 yrs old and we have a close relationship. 

 

It's NEVER too late to change.  Kudos to Tamra.  I was never a fan of Tamra's UNTIL I listened to her speech.  She did not have to get up there and give that talk but she did.  Don't rip her apart.  None of us are perfect -   Forgiveness is not that hard to do.   Learn to forgive people before it is TOO late.  Parents make mistakes as do adult children.  Learn to forgive!!! 

 

I loved it when Tamra and her mom hugged each other at the end.  Thank God they are in a better place.  I applaud Tamra and her mother.  I wish I could have been at the Expo and listened to her speech in person. 

johnann.s.allen
johnann.s.allen

I have recorded all episodes this season, but have only watched a few. I was hoping this season would not be a bunch of two faced mean girls. (and I was hoping Slade would be gone) I am sick of it and I want quality TV that makes me feel good. This may be my last season to view OC housewives.

polishmom
polishmom

Disgusting.  Your poor mom.  You know nothing about strength.....when have you ever stood on your own without a man behind you.

obdulia26
obdulia26

u don't it when people leave u out of things but u did the same thing to heather & Gretchen - leave sitting in a limo without word to where u guys were going or going to do - shame on u & screw Vicky from the dark side & her little friend Lydia too!

litlit2013
litlit2013

can't wait to see your spin-off, NOT!!!!!! 

Fluff
Fluff

Very brave of tamra to share her story. Good luck on your journey of healing.

Mrsbb
Mrsbb

No reason for you to be nasty and evil , cruel and coldbloded . It lot of women that didn't have a mother or family . It all the more reason to be nice to people . Stop making excuses for your bad behavior . You are just a sad despicable women . I felt like you should have talk to you mother private. That was messy to me .

LenaT
LenaT

Can't take RHOC anymore...Tamara..PLEASE, do not make excuses for your behavior.  You are a grown woman in your 40's.  I'm all for soul searching and healing, but do you really need a behaviorist to tell you that your behavior towards other people is abnormal?  Just some common sense advice...be nice to people (BTW, I didn't have the best childhood either, but for some reason, I don't feel the need to tear people apart).  Everyone...try Million Dollar Listing New York...It's great fun!

 

jstmegan
jstmegan

Bravo had to do some serious damage control~making TAMARA a VICTIM...I don't buy it, She is just jeolous others has what she can't have, like MONEY~

SusiefromSATX
SusiefromSATX

What kind of guy are you getting married to. When I heard how he treats his sister I was shocked. And here you went through so much. Maybe you should put that in Eddies head, I mean help your family Eddie! I thought he was just ok to start , but now hes a low life to me and my friends. Good luck married to that kind of person. And I would not be judging Vicks guy or Alex husband, or smiley anymore unless you plan to do the same with Eddie. What a loser

penneyone
penneyone

Tamra your speech fell flat to me. I felt more for your mom. YOU made your choices even, at your young age. How can you still be so angry 20 years later? I don't buy it........

kwisjc
kwisjc

Awwwwwwwww are you gonna write a book now. Sorry, I ain't buyin' it or how you're probably going to try to blame treating people so horribly on your sad, sad childhood....yah, ain't buyin' that either.

bluebayou
bluebayou

Only the truth can make your little light shine so bright.  There is no shame in the truth and  those of us who have survived ourselves when there was little reason to go on usually do and become remarkable women.  The backside to being so strong is you forget to have empathy for the silly, dumb and constant crybabies that always seem to be in your path.  

southernfried
southernfried

Tamra, I recall you telling Vickie, "You are going to hell!", and just laughing my butt off!

I would love, LOVE to see your face when you finally realize what you really are:

HELLBENT. 

annelisa360
annelisa360

So many have commented that they didn't like you or thought you were mean on the show in the past or present.  However, what many don't know is that women who have been in relationships with controlling men (as I have as well), once they have had therapy to overcome these relationships they will vow to never be walked on again and can appear to be the 'bitch', when in actuality, this woman just wants to stand up for herself, protect herself and not be walked on again.  Those of us who have had to walk on eggshells usually vow to never do so again...  regardless if it hurts another's feelings...  as for Alexis... sometimes the truth hurts and if you look back, Tamra behaved in no way to Alexis that Alexis did not behave towards other cast members...  Karma's bitch and Alexis got a dose of Karma.  Tamra is one of my faves on the cast...  knows what she wants and settles for nothing less and looks great doing it.

cindy1963
cindy1963

Tamra,

  Like many others I really did not like you especially after last season. However, after hearing your story on the last episode, I have had a change of mind. It really takes a lot to openly say the things that you said. I too went through something similar back in 2005 and it is not until today that I am saying that especially on such an open "forum." But you showed me that it is nothing to be ashamed of and that I am not the only person who has gone through this. Granted it is nothing to be proud of but when things are going on in your life and you feel like you just cannot take anymore, we sometimes look for the "easy" way out. I have grown stronger since then and that experience taught me many things. Thank you for sharing that true but difficult story of your life and I do hope that things continue to work out for you, not only in your private life but in the many ventures that you have going on with your businesses. Best of luck to you and Eddie! I can't wait to see what else unfolds in this crazy, fun and sometimes serious season of RHOC. God bless you and your family. 

 

Take care,

Cindy C.

rob0Nics
rob0Nics

well well well... Tamra - I loved you at first... then I was on the fence & then after last season I just thought you were MEAN & couldn't stand you! BUT NOW - I am feeling different  ;)

 

You said after attacking Alexis- "If everyone was saying the same things to you, you would take a good long look at yourself and change". & it seems as though you meant what you said!

 

I am proud of you for having the courage to not only share your story but to also look inward & change the things you do not like about yourself! Everyone deserves a second chance... you got one from me & I'm sure MANY others! :) 

 

U   GO    TAMRA!   (your nickname - "TamRotten" - is now retired) ;)

 

NOW -- Get rid of WretchedGretchen!! STAT!! She's AWFUL & you know it! 

 

annie14me
annie14me

It's hard to feel sorry for you when you are so mean.  How can anyone show you compassion when you don't show anyone else compassion?

lindsay.annw
lindsay.annw

Tamra, I thought you were the biggest b*tch on this show.. Yes, I still kind of believe it.. However, your speech made me realize I had a lot of the same issues.. I don't act the same as you, but I close up when people try to get close to me.. Except for my husband.. I have a hard time being myself.. I feel like I relate to you in some ways.. For example how you described "hiding" behind a certain personality/attitude.. It makes perfect sense. I hope you find happiness, as I'm working on mine.. It's a long, hard road.. But please try to forgive people and move on.. If you find Alexis "phony", ignore it and move on.. There are worse things.. I haven't seen her be two faced, rude, or mean. There are worst qualities someone could have.. That's just petty.. Slough it off.. Don't even let it bother you.. As long you get respect then just let it roll off you back.

smcorc
smcorc

I also like how she says she is making her own way how she married her high school sweetheart, then was with Simon and now she is doing it on her own, what was she separated from Simon 2.5 seconds before Eddie and she did state he owns 49% of CUT!  She states Alexis is a walking contradiction seems to me she is!

promotepeace
promotepeace

I think we all have a better understanding of why you are so angry at the world. However, there are lots of us who grew up in a household that never heard the "L" word and we don't flip out on people & treat them cruel. Now that you have children of your own you choose to make it point to let them know how much you love & care for them. Maybe you should apply the same technique to your friendships. Being kind & understanding may be exactly what you need to control your anger. There are far worse things that happen behind closed doors to children. When you become an adult you choose how you're going to treat people the same way you choose a dress!

Eurogirl
Eurogirl

Oh give me a break! Waaaaaa! My mommy didn't say she loved me!

Did she show it? Words mean nothing - don't you know that by now?

You can tell someone you love them everyday yet treat them like crap - I know, I've been there. I'd rather someone show me they love me by their actions. For heavens sake, put the past behind you and stop blaming others for your bad behavior.

smcorc
smcorc

I like how she says in her speech don't be a victim, but yet she continually acts like one, when in fact she is the abuser.  This is such an oxymoron.  Her life is an oxymoron!

cyndilou1971
cyndilou1971

Tamara is courageous for talking about her past and I believe this has opened up a path of healing to deal with these issues. You can't fix something if you don't recognize the problem.  I relate to Tamara's story growing up myself in a family that avoided the "love" word you tend to feel alone and seek out love somewhere else, attaching yourself to the first person who says those words to you even if it is for the wrong reasons.  You crave love so badly that you become a chameleon changing your colors to match the colors that person wants, but all along losing a piece of who you really are.  A lot of people are calling Tamara, "a mean girl" and I disagree she is a person who expresses herself out of anger because this is the only emotion she developed has a child.  Love and support is needed when dealing with the emotion of anger within a child it teaches the child how to deal with their anger in a positive manner,  without the appropriate assistance the child is sent into adulthood expressing themselves out of anger in any situation.  We are going to see a lot of changes with Tamara now that she has recognized her issue with anger. Tamara's mother needed to hear this speech to open a line of communication between them to deal with this issue.  I think Tamara made the right decision bringing her mother.  Some may think Tamara's mother was blindsided, but I think it showed Tamara's mother how she was effected by her emotionless upbringing.  It wasn't meant to cast blame. I believe by having her mother there showed Tamara stands by her mother no matter what and Tamara wants to work on having a better relationship with her.                     

tdowns9801
tdowns9801

I'm not sure I understand how she is empowering women?  She knocks them down any chance she gets.  I still don't understand how she got that speaking gig.  Makes no sense.  It is kinda like an abusive man talking at battered women's fundraiser function. 

kat1129
kat1129

Your right Tamra...THE VERY VERY UGLY!

karenmom
karenmom

I'm not buying what Tamra's selling. This sympathy ploy to smooth over all the negative backlash from the meanness of the past episodes just feels fake and pathetic. I want to feel sorry for her but I just don't believe it. Eddie must be a saint for diving in to this mess of a life.

Trahjack
Trahjack

I think Tamara is just a self-serving loser. She wants to blame her parents for her problems.

trish1960
trish1960

I really feel sorry for the Tamra I saw on TV talking about her life--but perhaps if she would focus on BEING that person that is a success instead of being the mean girl she might be happier.. She finds fault with everyone and needs to spend more time on her own issues..she tends to be very hateful.

StaceyBrewerSmith
StaceyBrewerSmith

Wow Tamara! I was really taken back by your speech. It was inspiring:) It takes more guts to get out and tell your true story than to live your life trying to make up something new. Thank you for sharing and be proud of your past, it is what inspires your future.

liz.regan1
liz.regan1

Wait you are thanking people on Tweeter all I see is discuss with your behavior once again. 

gcvlmv
gcvlmv

Where was Edie?  I think if I were undertaking such an important speaking engagement on such a personal topic I would have wanted my fiance there for moral support, not seeing for the first time on TV.  Seems odd at best. 

lindalu6168
lindalu6168

When Tamra started telling more about her personal journey I could totally relate.  Although I did grow up with my parents telling me that they loved me it was still somewhat of a dysfunctional family.  I too used my body (although mine is not as nice as Tamra's!) to get "love" from boys/men. I also used sarcasm and jokes to hide my insecurity.  While I am not nearly as successful, I am successful in turning my life around and becoming a better and stronger woman.  Kudos to Tamra for opening up and empowering other women.

Norte
Norte

I thought you had a great relationship with your mother, before this season.  When you spoke about her before she was everything to you and you even tried to help her get back into the dating scene and boost her confidence by paying for plastic surgery for her.

 

I don't get why she's suddenly a bad mom (or I think I do but it would be terrible if you were using her for fan sympathy).  I also don't think your mother deserved to be ambushed on a reality show.  She is a loving mother to have not walked out on you after everything you did to her.

 

First your father was the problem.  Then you blamed your anger issues on Gretchen and her games.  Next came Simon, then Jeanna, and then Alexis. Now you're blaming your mother.  When are you ever responsible Tamra?

habba3
habba3

I don't understand how you think your speech was empowering to women. In my opinion, you threw your mother under the bus, and you still appear to be supported by a man. Have you ever considered going it on your own? I watched you on WWHL, and found your attitude appalling. The way you spoke to the caller with a question for you made me so mad!! You're mean!!!

BevMac2
BevMac2

This is the biggest load of BS I've ever seen. This is a pathetic attempt to do a turn around on Tamras bad behavior at the expense of her own mother. I was disgusted. She owes everyone an apology.

 

tdowns9801
tdowns9801

Well I guess that makes every mean thing she has done to people ok. 

StLRHFan
StLRHFan

 @Eurogirl

 Words have meaning. If someone told you everyday what a stupid and unattractive person you are, for example, but they fed and clothed you, as a 6 year old child would you believe that person loved you?  Words and behavior are partners, neither can stand alone.  I don't know that Tamara was necessarily blaming others.  She is saying that she acted a certain way because she allowed herself to be treated in a certain way because she never felt accepted or truly loved.  It is how she felt, no one can ever argue against how someone feels, it is a personal experience. 

southernfried
southernfried

Thank you!  I agree.  There is nothing remotely 'empowering' about Tamra.  She's full of it.

summer123
summer123

 @karenmom Bravo just wants us now to like her. So they are doing spin control. Trying to transform Tamra so she looks vulnerable and has our sympathy. NOT

 

Have the cameras rolling and stick Tamra in the room with Dr. V for a nice long therapy session and have Dr. V tell her flat out she is a bully and needs to apologize. Make Tamra "get it". Cause obviously she doesn't. She is getting paid a lot, spin offs, she thinks this is the way to go. Laughing all the way to the bank with this behavior.

 

Someone needs to go head to head with Tamra and put her in her place. A good versus evil. I would sit ringside watching that!!  But everyone on the show is weak -- except Vicki and she is too desperate to be Tamra's friend again.

 

Sorry bravo we don't care to have a Tamra pity party. I honestly don't care what happened to her at 19.

promotepeace
promotepeace

 @lindalu6168

 If Tamra wasn't blessed with her role on RHOC, I don't think she would be where she is now. The celeb status is what enabled her to succeed. We should all be so lucky!!  

trish1960
trish1960

@Norte I so agree with you everyone is at fault but her...doesn't work for me either

StLRHFan
StLRHFan

 @habba3

 Remember we only saw a few minutes of her speech, so maybe it was empowering, unless you were there and know otherwise.  I doubt she has to be supported by a man, I mean she does get money for being on the Housewives, she has Wines by Wives, and other financial opportunities simply because she is on a popular show. 

Krystal-n-GA
Krystal-n-GA

 @BevMac2 VERY well said ! I was disgusted by it and changed the channel. Funny how all this comes up "now" when she's feeling a little heat in the kitchen ! Tamra once again shows she can dish out heaping piles to others but can't take it when the tables are turned.

trish1960
trish1960

@tdowns9801 No it isn't and it shows too she's trying to make up for her ugliness by playing victim---we are wiser than she thinks--and they gave her a spinoff? I'm not watching it

cindy1963
cindy1963

 @southernfried I'm not saying she is the best "role model" for women, I was just saying that going out there and telling that story took a lot of courage. Maybe you don't understand that because hopefully you've never gone through that. So you may say that what I said was "bull" but I know how she felt. And I also know that she has a lot to be ashamed of because she is not a very nice person. But like I have written so many times on these sites, these are our opinions and there are times that people reply back to others with attitude when it's really not necessary. For me, these blogs get my mind off a lot of personal issues that I am dealing with, one being that I am permanently disabled and the other being that my sister just got diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time. So let's try to give our opinions and leave it at that!