Beyond Bravo

The Secrets of a "Sugar Baby"...How She Scores Bags, Shoes, Trips, and Cash

One New York woman spills all on her sugar daddy and his gifts.

A “sugar baby” is the name for a woman who actively seeks out a sugar daddy to fund their lifestyle—and they like to compare notes. The babies like to see if they’re squeezing all they can out of their benefactor, and if their compensation is equal to their peers. So, naturally, an online community of sugar babies has exploded, where the women talk bags, shoes, trips, and cash, and what the going rate is for providing “services” like acting as arm candy in public or having sex behind closed doors. 

Seeking Arrangement is a site where “babies” and “daddies” sign up and connect and sort out a business plan. 

“It’s an arrangement is where people are direct with one another and stop wasting time,” says the site. “It allows people to immediately define what they need and want in a relationship. Our profiles allow members to effortlessly state their expectations. Successful men and women who know what they want. They’re driven, and enjoy attractive company by their side. Money isn’t an issue, thus they are generous when it comes to supporting a Sugar Baby. Attractive people looking for the finer things in life. They appreciate exotic trips and gifts. Sugar Babies get to experience a luxurious lifestyle, and meet wealthy people on a regular basis.”

Personal Space spoke to one member, a sugar baby named Bianca, who operates as a mistress to men in Manhattan. She says she discovered the sugar baby world after a terrible divorce which left her broke and needing to survive. 

“I hadn’t been on my own or supported myself in years. Bills were piling up and my Manhattan rent was steadily draining my finances,” Bianca explains. “I felt a little guilty about it, but my mind continually wandered to the fantasy of having a wealthy man take care of me. All my life I had been raised to be the opposite, a strong independent woman who didn’t need a man. Still, the idea of cashing in on my ‘assets’ and living a life of leisure had a stronger appeal with every passing day. I felt that I deserved an easy lifestyle after what I had gone through in my divorce. I found the world of sugaring like you would find anything in this day and age, I Googled ‘how to find a sugar daddy.’ Several sites instantly popped up that were dedicated solely to the pursuit of these mutually beneficial relationships. I couldn’t believe that I had never discovered the world of sugaring before, or as some call it ‘The Sugar Bowl.’ I was ready to play.” 

Bianca says the sugar babies connect regularly to compare the loot they are scoring and to talk all things sugar daddy. 

“I’ve seen everything from Prada bags on a first date to a Louis Vuitton filled with cash as a birthday gift,” she says.

“Or my favorite, the ‘I’m sorry I got too drunk on our date last night’ Valentino pumps. The designer duds are endless in the Sugar Bowl, and they are breathtaking. Some sugar babies prefer cash instead so they can pay off student loans or pay off credit card debt. It’s easy to get sidetracked by all of the shopping and expensive labels, but if you can manage to save a healthy portion of your sugar haul, you are doing alright.”

Depending on the financial needs of the sugar baby, Bianca says there is even an option on Seeking Arrangement to select the level of support you are seeking. 

“I listed mine as ‘moderate,’ which is $5,000 a month,” she says. “I have read in several forums that the average sugar haul is about $3,000 to $5,000 per month, although there are some players in the Sugar Bowl who take their occupation very seriously and rake in tens of thousands per month.”

Terms of the “relationship” are laid out in the very beginning, with both parties negotiating until they reach an agreement, much like a business deal.

“Everything is out on the table from the very beginning and both parties can negotiate their way to an ideal relationship,” she says. “A prospective sugar daddy will typically lead with a message telling the sugar baby what he is looking for in an arrangement. For example, a no strings attached relationship where he would like to go on dates once or twice a week, in exchange for gifts and a specified monthly allowance. If the sugar baby is interested, the negotiations continue from her end until they have settled on an amount and agree to go on a first date. If all goes well at the initial meeting, the arrangement begins shortly after.”

Bianca met her main sugar daddy, a prominent Manhattan doctor who is married, on the site, and the two quickly began “dating.”

“I had only been in the Sugar Bowl for 24 hours when he eagerly began to pursue me,” she says. “Many of the messages I had received had overtly sexual and perverse tones, so his sweet flattering message was a breath of fresh air. I could tell that he was highly intelligent from the first letter, and I was attracted to him before we even agreed to meet.”

But things began to turn sour soon after they met in person.

“He was an incredible writer and I received his love letters several times a day. I began to wonder when he had the time to write them all, being a busy and highly influential doctor in Manhattan,” she says. “Along the way, there were many red flags. He was highly suspicious of me at all times and constantly pleaded with me to be honest with him. One day, something clicked and I wondered if these tactics were a way to deflect the fact the he was hiding something from me. I couldn’t have imagined what was to follow and all of the secrets I’d uncover. Women can be so blinded by a doting and adoring lover, and I was absolutely ‘that girl.’”

Turns out, he was very married. Despite the bad experience, Bianca is still a sugar baby.

“This year has been the most exciting and least stressful year of my life so far,” she says. “I’ve traveled the world, eaten at the best restaurants in the city and suddenly have a closet filled with designer bags and shoes. What more could a sugar baby want? After all, girls just want to have funds.”

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