Shark-Jumping

This Toaster Will Print Emojis On Your Toast, Because It Can

The worst thing since sliced bread?

Are you tired of the same boring, old, regular toast? Oh. You aren’t? In any event, behold theToasteroid, the world’s first toaster that lets you use an app to burn emoji onto your breakfast.

But the Toasteroid doesn't just emblazon an image onto your toast; this is 2016 after all. This modern marvel of tech lets you print the weather forecast (why?), send a private toasty message (to…other people with Toasteroids?) or create your own design through its Doodle Pad feature (this should be the only option). You can even use it to toast yourself a reminder to pay your bills (Seriously, WHY?).

The weirdest part of this whole invention surprisingly isn’t the device itself — it’s the Toasteroid’s weird fever dream of a Kickstarter page, where it suggests that sending a birthday message to a friend or a reminder to your spouse via toast is a sane rational thing to do, and not the hallmark of a person whose life has gone completely off the rails. (Fun game: count the number of times the word ‘toast’ appears on the page. We got 119.)

Somehow despite the fact that this device is ironically the least necessary thing since sliced bread, not to mention has a name that sounds dangerously close to hemorrhoid, the device has pulled in nearly $180,000 in funding, surpassing its goal of $150,000 and shattering our understanding of the world at large.

That’s a whole lotta bread.

Take a look at this video and try again to answer the question: why?

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